MODS - please delete thread

DeeDee74

alias*alibi wrote: »

OMG does it??????? You'd better write to my manager quick smart then! What you going to say? My husband has walked away from a child he doesn't want and I'm supporting him in his decision? Hell; they are going to throw the books at me for my negligence of a child which is !!!! ALL to do with me.

Grow up. I'd go to bed but the comedy factor is too compelling to turn off.

do i expect there give u a pat on the back, big office and a payrise for leaving your husbands child with what u call i vile violent loony ...
like i said your vile.

ab7

alias*alibi wrote: »

I dont actually care anymore to be honest. I'm dealing with it the best I can and if that means directing hated towards the OW then so be it.

To be honest I've now got to the point of posting what people are hoping to hear for the entertainment and comedy value. The whole thread has descended into mud slinging so I'm joining in.

alias you do need to stop now - please note I've been a lurker & I can easily recognise someone who is so hurt they are lashing out at everyone and spiraling into self destruct mode. Please, please for the sake of your daughter, your job and yourself try to find a few days away to sit and mull over your life choices. There is absoluetly nothing comedic about your situation. Nobody except you can give you what you want - a way to cope. You need support and help no matter which path you choose. Go hug your daughter.

alias*alibi

whitewing wrote: »

DVardysShadow wrote: »

Wind your neck in and turn down the anger. If you are taking what I wrote as being a vote for a tart, you really are being irrational to the point that you are not fit to take care of yourself if she cottons on to your vulnerability.

the CRB does not show that you are not a threat [simply put, anyone who was ever a threat once had a CRB - and plenty of people who are not threats won't get a clean CRB either]. Your CRB is not a strength - it is a weakness this woman can use to put you under. Particularly as you seem to wear it quite prominently.

you will be vulnerable to this woman tripping you up QUOTE]

I agree with DVS. Your reaction to OW is something you need to address now with your counsellor because it is showing signs of getting completely out of control. I mean this in a way that supports you 100%.

Whitewing; you have been very diplomatic and I thank you for that. You know what and this is the truth; I felt utter pity for the OW. I sat and pondered for a long time about whether i was making the right decision. I even relayed my guilt about how i was feeling to close friends saying I felt like the OW. They all supported me and said she knew what she was getting herself into and she had a choice. The anger wasn't there. However, it's only raising itself on here because of the views some people have posted. If no baby was in the equation here would these posters still feel solidarity towards a woman who 'helped' tear a family apart? Look at purpletoenails thread; most ate SLATING her for having an affair with a married man!!!

alias*alibi

DeeDee74 wrote: »

do i expect there give u a pat on the back, big office and a payrise for leaving your husbands child with what u call i vile violent loony ...
like i said your vile.

Like I give a !!!!!! what you think?!

Goodnight!

peachyprice

alias*alibi wrote: »

whitewing wrote: »

If no baby was in the equation here would these posters still feel solidarity towards a woman who 'helped' tear a family apart?

Where is there any solidarity for the OW?

As far as I can see there isn't. There's an awful lot of concern for the baby, especially since you have painted such a bad picture of her mother. There's an awful lot of concern for you as you seem to be teetering on the edge. There's an awful lot of posts pleading that you open your eyes and see your OH for what he is, but solidarity for the OW? I don't see that.

Welshwoofs

whitewing wrote: »

I agree with DVS. Your reaction to OW is something you need to address now with your counsellor because it is showing signs of getting completely out of control. I mean this in a way that supports you 100%.

Thirded.

It looks like we're now seeing the Op's true level of anger and hatred, but it's being misdirected.

Op - I think you need a different counseller, or perhaps to open up to the one you have a bit more because it seems a bit odd to me that you have what seems like 'fresh' anger at a situation which is quite some months old. Nobody can sustain those levels of hatred over so long without getting seriously unbalanced.

thorsoak

Sad, sad, sad

A*A - I do hope that by venting your spleen on this last page or so of this thread that it makes you feel a bit better. You sound so bitter about the other woman who has now got the job of bringing up your daughter's half sister that I hope that you never ever see her or the child as I would fear the consequences.

Please try and let the bitterness go. What has been done, has been done. Nothing will change that. You've decided to take your husband back and I wish you all well for the future. But let go of what has gone before - for your own sake.

Mojisola

alias*alibi wrote: »

Whitewing; you have been very diplomatic and I thank you for that. You know what and this is the truth; I felt utter pity for the OW. I sat and pondered for a long time about whether i was making the right decision. I even relayed my guilt about how i was feeling to close friends saying I felt like the OW. They all supported me and said she knew what she was getting herself into and she had a choice. The anger wasn't there. However, it's only raising itself on here because of the views some people have posted. If no baby was in the equation here would these posters still feel solidarity towards a woman who 'helped' tear a family apart? Look at purpletoenails thread; most ate SLATING her for having an affair with a married man!!!

The problem is that she didn't do this alone - your husband knew what he was getting into and also had a choice and he was the one who left his family.

If you want to forgive your husband and can learn to trust him again, you may be able to rebuild your family - as long as he is worthy of your trust and doesn't do this to you again - but you said in your first post that you were struggling with the situation.

You asked for other people's experiences. The majority of people who have been in your situation found that the man wasn't worth taking back.

If your husband is the exception, you will still have to learn to cope with his other child being in your lives for at least the next 18 years, even if it is just contact from the CSA and the payments he will have to make.

Welshwoofs

alias*alibi wrote: »

If no baby was in the equation here would these posters still feel solidarity towards a woman who 'helped' tear a family apart? Look at purpletoenails thread; most ate SLATING her for having an affair with a married man!!!

There's no solidarity; I'd think everyone would acknowledge that she made a stupid mistake.

However, for my part, I just don't believe that she's this demented psychopath that you say she is. If she were that awful, why would your husband have been attracted to her in the first place? Why have an affair with her? Why leave you for her? It just doesn't add up and I'm sorry, but men or women who are caught out in affairs and subsequently return to their spouses often DO paint the OW/OM in the worst light possible to deflect attention from their part in it.

If you have this horrendous level of hatred then it's really no wonder you feel physically sick every time a reminder of this appears. But, as has been said a lot, reminders WILL keep appearing because there's a child involved and you simply won't be able to keep up this level of emotion about it all.....well not without becoming a serious fruitcake anyway.

Will all best intentions, you really need to sort your head out and sharpish.

alias*alibi

Welshwoofs wrote: »

There's no solidarity; I'd think everyone would acknowledge that she made a stupid mistake.

However, for my part, I just don't believe that she's this demented psychopath that you say she is. If she were that awful, why would your husband have been attracted to her in the first place? Why have an affair with her? Why leave you for her? It just doesn't add up and I'm sorry, but men or women who are caught out in affairs and subsequently return to their spouses often DO paint the OW/OM in the worst light possible to deflect attention from their part in it.

If you have this horrendous level of hatred then it's really no wonder you feel physically sick every time a reminder of this appears. But, as has been said a lot, reminders WILL keep appearing because there's a child involved and you simply won't be able to keep up this level of emotion about it all.....well not without becoming a serious fruitcake anyway.

Will all best intentions, you really need to sort your head out and sharpish.

She is demented as he said; ive been witness to two episodes myself. Back in January when he asked us to try again and he told her it was over she went loopy and chased him through the house at 8 weeks pregnant and broke down a door to get at him. That was from her mouth as she phoned me to ask if I knew she was pregnant.

The other time was pretending to be her husband on Facebook asking me questions.

The anger isn't there most days; it's more of a annoyance than anger. I am angry on here because whether I've read it rightly or wrongly people are viewing me badly because i don't want anything to do with the baby. I'm sure others in my situation wouldn't either. I've had a few pm's from forum users going thru/gone thru the same thing but can't bring themselves to post about it due to the backlash.