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Welshwoofs

MoreOn wrote: »

What makes you think your views aren't biased?

You're right. I'm biased towards this new child who appears to have been sired by a gutless individual who now wants to shirk his parental responsibility (and I'm NOT talking about financial considerations).

I have the greatest sympathy for the Op, the OW and most of all for this child. For the husband I have nothing but disdain.

alias*alibi

Welshwoofs wrote: »

What, other than her being the Mother of this man's child you mean? Seems to me like a pretty good reason to need to contact him now and then.




The Op's feelings are totally irrelevant when it comes to this man taking his responsibilities towards his own child seriously. The Op chose to have her husband back knowing he'd fathered a child and part of that decision has to involve accepting that child is going to be part of his life. To do anything else would be cruel and unfair on the only innocent in this situation; the baby.

For gods sake get off your moral high horse. Let's get one thing right; me and my child were the victims of this orchestrated affair; the baby us an unfortunate victim of that. My feelings are totally irrelevant? Who the hell do you think you are? Walk a year in my life then tell me you'd be happy with this whole situation. I'm actually incredibly riled by your whole attitude.

alias*alibi

Welshwoofs wrote: »

You're right. I'm biased towards this new child who appears to have been sired by a gutless individual who now wants to shirk his parental responsibility (and I'm NOT talking about financial considerations).

I have the greatest sympathy for the Op, the OW and most of all for this child. For the husband I have nothing but disdain.

No he doesn't want anything to do with the baby and I am not in the right frame of mind at this moment to persue it with him. I have taken him back knowing that and i dont care what that makes me or what you think of me. I hope to god this never happens to you. If it does then maybe, just maybe you'll have a slight understanding of how carp all of this mess is. I am thinking of my child and me first and foremost. We are the priorities at this present time.

RichGold

MoreOn wrote: »

The whole situation is raw for all of them, very complicated and she to has my simpathy... I'm not going to critise any of them..

I can critises those that cast dispersions based on a re-interpretation of an interpretation of a limited interpretation of an interpretation of a not fully known interpretation..

You cast ASPERSIONS, not dispersions. And I'm not sure about your interpretation of the rest of that. Although at least your name seems to be correct.

MoreOn

RichGold wrote: »

You cast ASPERSIONS, not dispersions. And I'm not sure about your interpretation of the rest of that. Although at least your name seems to be correct.

Thank you for correcting the typo...

As for the rest... think about it and type it.. you already have two interpretations, the first does necesarily equal the other. The further away you go from the original the less reliable the interpretations become..

As for the rest, trying to be personal doesn't help you it just makes me laugh...

newcook

anyone got popcorn?!?!

MoreOn

newcook wrote: »

anyone got popcorn?!?!

:EasterBun only this i'm affraid...

cheepskate_2

alias*alibi wrote: »

. I am thinking of my child and me first and foremost. We are the priorities at this present time.

Totally agree, this baby is not your concern at this time now this time it is about getting yourself and child sorted and back to a place that is mentally good,

Goodn luck op in getting your family back and on track,

zoesmummy_2006

hun i have been exactly where you are. My ex left 2 years ago, and almost this time last year i found out the girl he left me for was pregnant (i have since found out he slept with her when we'd been married just 4 months & i was 3 months pregnant with our 1st child-i suspected at the time but he swore to me he hadnt/wouldnt/couldnt do that to me).

That he was having a child with someone else hurt more than all the horrible things he said to me when he left, the usual stuff thats been mentioned on here already, having gained weight after having the kids, was always too tired, blah blah blah. He knew how badly i wanted another child after we'd had our 2nd, not straight away but at somepoint. He went to see the doctor about having the snip, but they wouldnt do it til our son was a year old-he left a month after he turned 1. Finding out they were having a baby, despite having expected it for a long time, was the worst kind of hurt ive ever felt. But it also made me stronger, I filed for divorce not long after I found out.

He'd been umming and ahhing about who he wanted to be with for months after he left and for a while had been trying to get back with me, but i refused to have anything to do with him while he was still seeing her. When he got the divorce papers he broke down, called me begging me to take him back, that he was sorry, he'd made the biggest mistake of his life leaving me etc etc. I no longer cared by that point, it was way too late, and I told him so.

For me there was no going back because of the baby on the way. I couldnt be with him knowing that she was a part of my life for the rest of my life because of their child, Im sorry but im not 'big' enough to put that to one side. He then offered to leave her and the baby and have nothing to do with either of them if i'd take him back. So i told him how could I respect him as man or a father to our children if he was prepared to walk away from his unborn child???

He's still with her, and their child is a few months old now. It hurts less than it did when she was born, I think for me the worst part was when his parents bought my children home from the hospital after visiting their new sister and bought 'its a girl' balloons in for each of them, it really felt like they werent considering my feelings at all, but then they saw me as the bad woman for filing for divorce-go figure?!

I guess the culminating thing for me was that he broke our marriage vows, shattered my trust and hurt me more by having another child with someone else, for me there is no way on earth I could ever bring myself to love or trust him again, and I wouldnt put my children or myself through even trying because I know hand on heart it would never ever work for me. But thats just me.

Welshwoofs

alias*alibi wrote: »

For gods sake get off your moral high horse. Let's get one thing right; me and my child were the victims of this orchestrated affair; the baby us an unfortunate victim of that. My feelings are totally irrelevant? Who the hell do you think you are? Walk a year in my life then tell me you'd be happy with this whole situation. I'm actually incredibly riled by your whole attitude.

Why are you getting angry at me? I've actually said nothing about you other than I have sympathy for you. I just happen to think that your husband is a total !!!!! for abandoning his child.

Your feelings are important to you, but your feelings aren't more important than his duty to take a part in this baby's upbringing. It seems, from what you say, that you've done the decent thing and tried to make him see sense about this baby....it also seems that he's not going to live up to his responsibilities....which is pretty abhorrent.

I am thinking of my child and me first and foremost. We are the priorities at this present time.

Did anyone suggest it should be otherwise from your point of view? You have no responsibility towards this new child's welfare - HE DOES.