Bought clothes for toddler niece but she never wore them

gingin_2

Yikes, I feel old too and I had dd at 25! I love Boden, their clothes to me are classic and tasteful and wash and wear well. I don't buy dd lots of clothes but I like good quality and Boden fit the bill ( I've never really thought of them as designer ).

The sizes do come up small, though. Is there a chance that you might not have got the right size? DD is skinny but average height and can wear their clothes alright but anything lengthwise, like tights, are just too small in her age range and if she were average size I would buy her a year up.

I think it was a lovely gesture but if I had to I would sell a gift if I had money worries.

purple.sarah

It's not up to the OP to support her SIL financially by paying her household expenses as some people are implying, she shouldn't feel guilty about giving her niece some nice clothes and that is practical too.

She didn't say how "financially strapped" the family are, people seem to be assuming poverty when in fact they might just not have money left for extras like expensive clothes. Presents tend to be the little luxuries we wouldn't buy ourselves.

It could potentially be offensive to give the family a tenner to put on the gas instead of something nice for the baby, to me that says 'you're not coping financially and I don't want my niece to freeze' which might not be the situation at all!

zippybungle

purple.sarah wrote: »

It's not up to the OP to support her SIL financially by paying her household expenses as some people are implying, she shouldn't feel guilty about giving her niece some nice clothes and that is practical too.

She didn't say how "financially strapped" the family are, people seem to be assuming poverty when in fact they might just not have money left for extras like expensive clothes. Presents tend to be the little luxuries we wouldn't buy ourselves.

It could potentially be offensive to give the family a tenner to put on the gas instead of something nice for the baby, to me that says 'you're not coping financially and I don't want my niece to freeze' which might not be the situation at all!

My thoughts EXACTLY!!

nancypearl

purple.sarah wrote: »

It's not up to the OP to support her SIL financially by paying her household expenses as some people are implying, she shouldn't feel guilty about giving her niece some nice clothes and that is practical too.

She didn't say how "financially strapped" the family are, people seem to be assuming poverty when in fact they might just not have money left for extras like expensive clothes.

Thank you! I was really hoping that someone would make that comment.

When I bought the clothes, I did not have a set budget in mind. If I had spent less then I would not have given the difference in cash or vouchers to Sil. I just wanted to get my niece some clothes that I thought her mother would like and she would wear.

Sil and partner are not on the breadline. They have a job and a car each. They shop at markets, Asda and Waitrose. They just don't have much money. They would never spend £28 on a child's dress but will quite happily spend £3 buying the same dress in a charity shop next year.

blue_monkey_2

nancypearl wrote: »

Thank you! I was really hoping that someone would make that comment.

When I bought the clothes, I did not have a set budget in mind. If I had spent less then I would not have given the difference in cash or vouchers to Sil. I just wanted to get my niece some clothes that I thought her mother would like and she would wear.

Sil and partner are not on the breadline. They have a job and a car each. They shop at markets, Asda and Waitrose. They just don't have much money. They would never spend £28 on a child's dress but will quite happily spend £3 buying the same dress in a charity shop next year.

It's good to see that 1 person in 64 has given you the answer you finally want. You clearly did not want any other opinions as you have not mentioned any of those, you wanted your ego stroked for being so generous and it looks like you finally have it. I think I see why your Sil has not put her daughter in the clothes now....

I've been given plenty of clothes for my kids and they have been hideous, they have never been worn and I wait til they are old enough and sell them on.

Likewise some of the lovely ones they would only wear for something special like a party - and now many of those do you go wo with your niece. And as for a coat, well maybe she already has one. Maybe your Sil does not want to wear the nice expensive coat to the park. I could tell you about how I sent my DD to school in her nice new Next coat and that day they decided to do 'outdoor painting'..... :eek:

You have a choice, keep on buying expensive gifts that she might never wear and you never see her in, or buy stuff that is more practical for day to day wear that is not as fancy and can get dirty. Either way, maybe you need to stop complaining as it was a gift and not imperative that it is used or worn - god forbid I'd have some unhappy relatives. As I said there is a big difference in paying £30 for a dress that is going to get trashed and paying £3 in a charity shop for it. I know what I would rather... but as you are not a parent then you probably do not get that either.

nancypearl

blue_monkey wrote: »

It's good to see that 1 person in 64 has given you the answer you finally want. You clearly did not want any other opinions as you have not mentioned any of those, you wanted your ego stroked for being so generous and it looks like you finally have it. I think I see why your Sil has not put her daughter in the clothes now....

I've been given plenty of clothes for my kids and they have been hideous, they have never been worn and I wait til they are old enough and sell them on.

Likewise some of the lovely ones they would only wear for something special like a party - and now many of those do you go wo with your niece. And as for a coat, well maybe she already has one. Maybe your Sil does not want to wear the nice expensive coat to the park. I could tell you about how I sent my DD to school in her nice new Next coat and that day they decided to do 'outdoor painting'..... :eek:

You have a choice, keep on buying expensive gifts that she might never wear and you never see her in, or buy stuff that is more practical for day to day wear that is not as fancy and can get dirty. Either way, maybe you need to stop complaining as it was a gift and not imperative that it is used or worn - god forbid I'd have some unhappy relatives. As I said there is a big difference in paying £30 for a dress that is going to get trashed and paying £3 in a charity shop for it. I know what I would rather... but as you are not a parent then you probably do not get that either.

I do appreciate your honesty. I had no idea that my intentions could be interpreted in that way. I will certainly think about how my gifts could be perceived from now on.

I hope that most of the gifts I buy in future will be what someone wants to receive, but I guess that there are bound to be times when I am way off the mark.

purpletoenails

blue_monkey wrote: »

It's good to see that 1 person in 64 has given you the answer you finally want. You clearly did not want any other opinions as you have not mentioned any of those, you wanted your ego stroked for being so generous and it looks like you finally have it. I think I see why your Sil has not put her daughter in the clothes now....

..bit spiteful!

I think more than one person said something similar to purple.sarah.

grey_lady

"I hope that most of the gifts I buy in future will be what someone wants to receive, but I guess that there are bound to be times when I am way off the mark."

This is why I tend to give cash, everyone loves picking out cute special occasion baby dresses, when really a pack of plain white vests would probably be more useful :-)

MarilynMonroe_2

If she's a toddler chances are she's getting her clothes marked/stained etc, so maybe your SIL is keeping the ones you bought for best.
My dd is 2 and she ruins all her clothes with paint and spaghetti - 'tis what toddlers do.

MarilynMonroe_2

Just one question - you say SIl and her partner - i am rackingmy brains here, would that not be your brother? (or sister even)