Bought clothes for toddler niece but she never wore them

QuackQuackOops

Do you see your neice each and every day?
If not, then you can't possibly assume that she has never worn what you have bought and photos? Some people don't take many photos at all. Even if she has taken photo's, wouldn;t they have to be very special for sil to show you them?

I think you are worrying over this far too much. You bought a present, you were thanked and thats where it ends for you.

purpletoenails

I agree with Paddys mum, what a kind and thoughtful person you are to have bought your niece something that your sister in law had previously said she wished she could afford to buy for her. I'm sure the gift was appreciated and like some other posters have said, it just could be that they are being saved for 'best' or don't yet fit, or simply that your niece hasn't been wearing the clothes when you've seen her.

blue_monkey_2

Maybe, just maybe, the clothes did not fit her, or maybe the mum did not like how they looked and they are in the cupboard, maybe the weather has not been right for them. why are we all assuming she sold them? I'd sell them when outgrown yes, but not just after they were given.

It is one thing to dress your child in 2nd hand Boden clothes - but new Boden clothes... nope, they'd not see daylight from our wardrobe either. I would be too scared they would ruin them, more so if they were a gift.

Instead of buying fancy gifts, maybe give some thought that they are toddlers and toddlers cannot run about and get dirty in expensive clothes, especially expensive clothes that were a gift because the mum is probably petrified they'll get covered in mud, food, poo or vomit. They fall over and they get holes in the knees. They crawl and get holes in the knees.

Toddlers do not need expensive clothes - they need every day, day to day clothes. Instead of being offended buy some cheaper clothes and mayb treat your Sil to some Tesco or Sainsbury vouchers to 'treat herself' the money will probably go on the kids but hey, this is what us mums do.

What you also might want to consider is that your Sil might think you are throwing your money into her face if they are cash strapped and flouting the new Boden clothes you can buy for her children when she cannot afford them. Maybe this needs some thought as well, while the thought was there, it was maybe a little insensitive if they are struggling for money.

blue_monkey_2

nancypearl wrote: »

I am feeling a bit insecure. Am I one of those relatives that buys crap clothes?!

Probably best to get something from a toy shop in future. Something where it doesn't matter if she gets a duplicate of it.

No, you do not need to spend money on the little girl, why not give the parents a couple of cinema tickets and offer to babysit instead?

Toddlers do not need expensive clothes and toys.

More so if the parents are strapped for cash and you are throwing expensive new toys and clothes at their child. They are probably feeling upset that they cannot afford to do that.

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, why not put yourself in their shoes. Their child does not need your money spent on her, she needs your time and attention. That is all.

zippybungle

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

You are overthinking this whole thing.

The objective of the exercise was to get a pressie that was wanted and needed and enjoyed. It's not really about you, it's about the receiver of the gift.

If you are that worried then ask your SIL if you got the right size, style etc - say it's for future reference so that you get the right stuff next time.

I still think that you need to examine why you felt the need to get so much from Boden - you may have meant well but the money you spent would have gone a LOT further if spent elsewhere.

Why???
OP has already said that her SIL had told her she liked Boden Clothes. OP can spend her money however she chooses. If it was the OP who was in a financial mess then yes I would agree, but she isn't, so if she wants to treat her niece to something special then why not?!

Having 3 Kids myself, I am always very grateful when people buy clothing for my Kids (more so than Toys!) as it is something that Kids need and will use. I don't care where it's from, it's the thought that counts, that someone has gone to a shop and picked something that they think your child would like. I can't understand all the business about 'keeping things for best', Kids grow!

If I were you OP, I would just mention something casually in passing conversation the clothes and ask what size clothes your neice is in now, all my Kids are in at least 1 size bigger than their age and usually designer clothes come up a bit smaller.

Zippy x

li'l_p

blue_monkey wrote: »

Toddlers do not need expensive clothes and toys.

:T Exactly!

Tiddlywinks

zippybungle wrote: »

Why???
OP has already said that her SIL had told her she liked Boden Clothes. OP can spend her money however she chooses. If it was the OP who was in a financial mess then yes I would agree, but she isn't, so if she wants to treat her niece to something special then why not?!

Ummm, because if the OP's SIL is so strapped for cash why not show some consideration of that fact and not buy something relatively expensive when a less expensive item would do and then invest the rest of the money in something more useful for them.

It's like giving a starving person one meal of caviar and champagne when a trolley load of Tesco value bits would be more sensible.

Also, I hate it when people give gifts and then harp on about them... as a previous poster said, once you give something it is not yours anymore and the receiver can do with it what they wish.

zippybungle

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Ummm, because if the OP's SIL is so strapped for cash why not show some consideration of that fact and not buy something relatively expensive when a less expensive item would do and then invest the rest of the money in something more useful for them.

It's like giving a starving person one meal of caviar and champagne when a trolley load of Tesco value bits would be more sensible.

Also, I hate it when people give gifts and then harp on about them... as a previous poster said, once you give something it is not yours anymore and the receiver can do with it what they wish.

yes, but there is a difference between being 'strapped for cash' (aren't most people at the moment? unfortunately ) and living in absolute poverty where you can't afford to feed your kids and heat the home?

Zippy x

Kay_Peel

What a lucky, lucky niece. Boden's childrens' clothes are lovely, in my view because they are practical, stylish and fab.

I can't understand your sister-in-law. Even if the clothes (including a coat!) hadn't been to her liking, it would have been no skin off her nose to dress your niece, or take a photograph of her, for you to see and admire.

On the other hand, and to put SIL in the possible light (I'm really trying!) perhaps she made the same mistake as I did when my daughter was a toddler. She was given a stunning outfit which I kept 'for best' and, of course, she outgrew it before I got it off the hanger a few months later. Ouch - I was gutted.

I think your SIL should thank her lucky stars for a kind and generous auntie like you.

SingleSue

Blimey I am out of touch...I thought Boden was a kitchen manufacturer! I never was one for designer labels though....

Re the actual question, we were given many gorgeous items when eldest son was born and we would have loved to have put him in them for photos but there was one very awkward problem, he was a lot longer than the average for a newborn and nothing fitted (including one quite expensive Peter Rabbit grow bag we had bought). Much frantic to'ing and fro'ing by people to exchange and get bigger items followed......

Then on the next son, he was a little shorter and people learning from first son, had bought items for much older babies.....result was some were put away for him to grow into and some were exchanged for smaller sizes.

Youngest was the only 'normal' sized baby and by this time people had learnt the lesson, some bought 1st size clothes to be worn straight away and some bought clothes designed to be worn when he was a little older....there was no frantic exchanging that time!