Bought clothes for toddler niece but she never wore them

honeypop

Maybe she hasn't sold them, maybe the neice DID wear the clothes at some point but just because you were not there that day and no photo was taken, then you just didn't know she had worn them?

I don't think many people who bought my sons clothes have actually seen them wearing the items, I don't take photos of every outfit and if the family member doesn't see them on that day then of course they won't know the clothes have been worn.

Why are you assuming that just because you haven't seen them, then they haven't been worn? Personally I think your OP is a bit of an over reaction, and unless you ask you will never find out if the clothers were actually appreciated or not. I would hate to think that a family member felt disappointed and that I'd rejected their gifts of clothing, just because they never saw the kids in them!

cheepskate_2

if the in laws are really strapped for cash, why on earth would you go out and buy expensive clothes for them, maybe helping them out with necessities would have been better, than overpriced clothes.

sassyblue

honeypop wrote: »

Why are you assuming that just because you haven't seen them, then they haven't been worn? Personally I think your OP is a bit of an over reaction, and unless you ask you will never find out if the clothers were actually appreciated or not.

It's not an over-reaction, the OP has done something really nice and it should be appreciated by the sil.

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If sil did put her in the clothes it's natural to assume she would have photographed her wearing them, if people have given my DS nice things l've always photographed him wearing them and returned with a thank you note, but then l am nice like that.

OP I would ask sil, how did the clothes 'come up' on her, a bit small or is she still waiting to fit in them? Gauge her response However, if she did sell them in their circumstances l would be annoyed but could understand. I'd still buy your niece something else (why should she go without) but next time tags would be removed.

I had the opposite from my sil, she would only dress her children in clothes from Next, this was 10+ years ago and it had to have Next emblazoned across the front too - she thought it somehow made her 'better'.... 'It's from Next' she'd announce with pride as if it had been hand sewn by the Queen. :rotfl: l bought something for her son from Matalan, you should have seen the look of horror on her face! Weeks later she announced they'd been worn and she was 'surprised' they washed up so nicely. :silenced:

j.e.j.

Depending on just how strapped for cash they are, it is possible they might have sold the clothes on EBay or somewhere.

It's also possible, if they are used to dressing the little one in cheaper clothes, that they are afraid of her 'ruining' the more pricey outfits that you've given her, and so they've been put away for 'best'?

OP do you see them very often? As others have said, could it be that she has in fact worn the clothes, it's just that you've not seen her in them?

I guess the way to put an end to all this speculation is just ask them next time you see them

Tiddlywinks

I see nothing wrong with your SIL buying toddler clothes from Primark and charity shops - that doesn't necessarily mean anything other than they are being careful. Toddlers grow out of clothes so quickly that it makes sense to go for value.

You bought "loads of clothes from Boden" - how much did you spend? It may have been better to buy one outfit from there (for best) and then give supermarket vouchers for the rest of the money you wanted to spend.

We used to have relatives that were struggling and we tried extra hard not to appear to be making judgements about how they lived and their lack of "things". You need to make sure that you don't appear to "parachute in" from time to time, dropping expensive gifts and then floating off - how would this make your SIL feel? Envious? Embarrassed?

Just my thoughts.

thorsoak

When you buy a gift and give it as a present, all responsibility for what happens to that present leaves you and goes to the receipient. Did you SIL thank you for the present? Well, that is where your ownership of the present stops. Your SIL can now do whatever she wishes with that present, as long as it benefits your neice in one way or another.

If it bothers you that much, stop giving presents. You cannot control what happens to them once they leave your hands.

LittleMissInDebt

I agree with the posters who were bought a lot of clothes but either their children grew too fast, or (in my case) because they were nice I put them away for best, and best, with toddlers, seldom comes!

I don't even want to think about the number of baby clothes my baby boy didn't wear and still have tags on, because all he wore was hand-me-downs as I didn't want to ruin the ones people gave as gifts.

Maybe your SIL feels the same, or maybe you do have different tastes (I get hand me downs for my kids from one relative, that I pretty much have to take straight to the charity shop since our tastes differ so wildly), and maybe she didn't sell them but exchanged them.

I think the best thing is to ask, just an email along the lines that you wanted to get your neice some clothes for christmas but know different poeple have different tastes and would she like more Boden things or something different?

It's so difficult with SIL, I'm quite lucky with mine, we've accepted we don't always like the same things and she puts up with my :eek: face as I do hers

nancypearl

I see the family often. Sil has bought similar Boden clothes from charity shops for niece. Sil said she like them when I gave them to her.

I genuinely thought that a couple of dresses, some tights, a cardigan and a coat would be worn.

I think I will just wait until nice is old enough to choose her own clothes from whichever catalogue I have around and buy something she picks out herself.

whitewing

Maybe the mum used some of them as individual birthday presents for toddler's friends. In which case they would still have been enormously appreciated by your family if they were very strapped for cash, albeit not in the way you were expecting.

I think it is more likely that they don't actually fit yet. My daughter is quite small for her age, but then will have a growth spurt and catch up a bit.

Tiddlywinks

nancypearl wrote: »

I think I will just wait until nice is old enough to choose her own clothes from the Boden catalogue and buy something she picks out herself.

That sounds a bit like you have taken offence - what will you get for presents in the meantime?