Bought clothes for toddler niece but she never wore them

ZsaZsa

Most of the things I buy for my little ones are primark/supermarket/charity shops etc. Whenever I'm given anything a bit more special it gets put away for best rather than everyday wear. Unfortunately though they are often outgrown before they've had the full wear. I'm having to remind myself to get more use out of them but it always feels like such a shame to put them in their best clothes just to crawl around a community centre floor, or for digging holes in the garden!!

It would never occur to me to sell them on or give them away as gifts.

li'l_p

I have a 2 year old and many of her clothes are secondhand mostly car boot sale/charity shop. I begrudge paying silly money for stuff that tends to get covered in food, ragged around in and are constantly being washed.

I buy the things I like, style and practicality wise and get some lovely stuff - if you looked at my daughter you'd be hard pushed to tell her stuff was second hand and I often get people commenting on her clothes and how lovely she looks.

In contrast I have a friend who's the exact opposite and makes no bones about shopping at Next, Debenhams, M&S, etc, and they have no qualms in 'bragging' about how much they have spent on this and that, usually the 'latest collection' and yet in the next breath are bleating on about hard pushed they are and 'broke until payday' because of their lavish spending which is only for themselves and a status thing to brag about as the kids know no different. I buy equally as nice branded clothes for a fraction of the cost at car boot sales and charity shops, and don't break the bank to do so and no one else is none the wiser. It is only us adults that create this norm that our kids have to have the lastest stuff and it makes us feel better buying the best/top notch stuff.

Ok, so I don't brag outwardly about where I get my stuff from, but it's not so much that I'm embarrased, it's more because of the stigma of secondhand; the sort of attitude that the OP has expressed. It's other people that seem to think of it as something degrading or disgusting to be buying secondhand stuff that puts me off saying things to other people. I'm happy to buy secondhand and put my daughter in these things and that's what matters.

Clothing for your kids, like clothing for yourself, is very personal and it bugs me when people buy stuff for you for your kids and think that you'll like it just because they liked it.

We've had all sorts of things bought for us across the past two years, one of which was a sports tracksuit, of which we only ever put the top on her (like a coat/cardy) and I think that was only bought because it was Adidas and I think the people buying it wanted to be seen to be spending a lot on her. We've had loads of stuff bought from us which has probably ended up in the cupboard/wardrobe, then usually winds up being sold on ebay and it's usually because our daughter has/gets far too many clothes as it is, that she doesn't get to wear everything, even stuff we have bought for her has had little wear/gone unworn as I would have to change her 3 times a day just for her to wear the stuff she has!

As for selling on ebay, why not? I am constantly selling stuff on ebay after being worn and stuff she hasn't worn - how I see it, is that it means I have the cash to then buy her stuff she will wear.

nancypearl

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

That sounds a bit like you have taken offence - what will you get for presents in the meantime?

I am feeling a bit insecure. Am I one of those relatives that buys crap clothes?!

Probably best to get something from a toy shop in future. Something where it doesn't matter if she gets a duplicate of it.

VfM4meplse

Why buy expensive Boden for a child, esp if you are strapped for cash? Sorry if it's a silly q.

li'l_p

nancypearl wrote: »

I see the family often. Sil has bought similar Boden clothes from charity shops for niece. Sil said she like them when I gave them to her.

I buy branded clothes from car boot sales. BUT I hate with a passion when I get gift vouchers for Next and then go and have a look and can only buy 1 outfit for the money I have been given, sometimes I have to even add money to make it up, and for £10 I could get MANY different pieces of clothing from the booty and still come home with change.

I think whilst your SIL does like branded stuff, she likes the thought of branded on a shoestring. She knows if the kid wears it once, she hasn't just wasted £10+ on it to wear once and sit in the wardrobe - kids grow very quickly!

Get her a voucher from Primark in the future. £10 alone would go a long way!

paddy's_mum

You do your best but sometimes, through circumstances, you cannot get it right.

If you know that your heart was in the right place, a 10pence ribbon from a low-down market stall - but it pleases - is beyond price.

You've done nothing wrong, OP. Bless you for your kind instincts.

nancypearl

paddy's_mum wrote: »

You do your best but sometimes, through circumstances, you cannot get it right.

If you know that your heart was in the right place, a 10pence ribbon from a low-down market stall - but it pleases - is beyond price.

You've done nothing wrong, OP. Bless you for your kind instincts.

Thankyou. That was kind.

psychopathbabble

Just ask her casually if the clothes looked as cute on niece as you thought they would?

I feel a little bit miffed sometimes when I haven't seen my friends babies wearing what I've bought them, but luckily I don't buy expensive clothes for babies as I know they outgrow them so quick. Hope you find out that your niece has been wearing them and loving them

Tiddlywinks

nancypearl wrote: »

I am feeling a bit insecure. Am I one of those relatives that buys crap clothes?!

Probably best to get something from a toy shop in future. Something where it doesn't matter if she gets a duplicate of it.

You are overthinking this whole thing.

The objective of the exercise was to get a pressie that was wanted and needed and enjoyed. It's not really about you, it's about the receiver of the gift.

If you are that worried then ask your SIL if you got the right size, style etc - say it's for future reference so that you get the right stuff next time.

I still think that you need to examine why you felt the need to get so much from Boden - you may have meant well but the money you spent would have gone a LOT further if spent elsewhere.

li'l_p

Of course, it's the thought that counts, noone is disputing that. However we are working off what the OP said in that:

Could I have got it so wrong?
I can't help feeling disapointed that my gesture was rejected.

Please reply honestly. I would rather be told the truth from mother's who have in-laws that buy their kids clothes. I can't ask Sil, obviously.

It is all based on your assumptions and gut feeling and only because you haven't seen the kid wearing the bought clothes or that your SIL hasn't mentioned it, that you are doubting that your gift was appreciated. I am sure she was delighted you made the effort but does she really need to gush over it ever time she sees you just to make you feel better about your expensive gift.

We are all just pointing out that as parents of kids, you get so much stuff bought at special occasions, it's not that you aren't grateful that people have taken the time to buy something for you for your child, it's just that kids get so much and not just off family. We have people family and friends who we barely see any time through the year but will come out of the woodwork at birthdays/Easter/Christmas to pass in a gift for the little one. It's not that we're not grateful, just that we get so much and occasionally SOME things aren't to our taste or we have that much that our little one doesn't get to wear half of it.