Bought clothes for toddler niece but she never wore them

xxlouisexx56

I have 2 girls and i buy them both at least one thing each, each season from Boden. I love their style for girls as its not too grown up.
With my maternity leave ending and me not going back to my job due to not being able to afford childcare for 2, My shopping time at Boden may come to an end for awhile.

But if my MIL wants to buy the girls some clothes then i would be more than happy.

Stephb1986_2

Hi OP, I have a niece too I bought alsorts for my niece even a pair of lellie kellie shoes that was the only thing she wore that I bought her and wrecked them within a few days.

In the end I gave up spending well earned money on something that was going on ebay which I witnessed my brothers partner doing.

Steph xx

coolcait

OP, I could provide you with any number of theories about what your SIL might have done with the clothes - from selling them on ebay, to hanging them out on the washing line at night to attract aliens (they don't just love underpants, you know). She might even have dressed your niece in them regularly. (That's the clothes, not the aliens or the underpants ).

I could provide with you with umpteen analyses of your SIL's possible thoughts, emotions and reactions on receving your gift - from poverty-stricken angst, to unbearable envy. She might even have been genuinely grateful, and touched that you'd remembered what she said about Boden clothes.

However, I'm going to agree with - and repeat - the best advice you've been given on this thread:

Talk to your SIL. In the low-key, chit-chat way that so many posters have suggested. Not asking her what the hell happened to the clothes...

You might have thought you couldn't talk to your SIL about it. But, come on, you've just faced six pages of MSE feedback instead!! :eek:

By comparison, it should be a walk in the park to ask if the clothes fit OK, or if your niece takes a different size. Or if there's something else which she'd like better/need more.

You can do it! :T

onlyroz

Never heard of Boden - I get most of my kids' clothes from the Pumpkin Patch perpetual sale. However, I do think you're over thinking the situation. If you're concerned then just drop in a casual comment like "did the dress fit OK?"

On a practical note, my daughter rarely wears dresses these days. I tend to put her in leggings and a top - stuff she can easily pull up and down herself (essential when they're still not too confident with the toilet/potty) and stuff that will wash up OK when it gets covered in food/paint/poo. You might find that your carefully thought-out presents are still in the cupboard, waiting for a suitable occasion.

mummyoftwomonkeys

Maybe she only puts her daughter in them for special outings? kids can be muck pups I only dress mine in "nice" clothes if their going for a visit somewhere and I have to admit mine live in hand me downs and primark clothes, my aunty sends lots of clothes that were her grandsons.

lexuslass

Hi... I just wanted to add my little bit to this thread... must admit, I haven't read it all (it's huge!!).

My OH's family buy my children clothes every christmas and birthday... even though I do ask him to say "they don't need any clothes", they always end up with lots of clothes!!

I'm not being horrible when I say "no clothes!", their taste isn't my taste, but over the years they have learnt that my children wear practical clothes and not the fussy dresses etc that they used to buy.

My OH's sister bought my daughter the most gorgeous summer short and vest set from Gap for her 2nd birthday (May 2010)... it didn't fit her then.. it didn't fit her this year.. I hope it will fit her next year!!

His family buy the children lovely clothes - but I get really annoyed that they don't ask what size to buy them!! his sister saw a dress for my daughter for her birthday this year (age 3 but she is only really in age 2-3 clothes!)... she bought her age 4-5... it was massive!! it will not fit her next year.. it will probably be put away somewhere and I'll find it again when she has completely outgrown it when I clearout when she is about 7 or 8!!!! I get quite embarrassed because I would love his family to see the children in the outfits they buy them sometimes!

January20

nancypearl wrote: »

I do appreciate your honesty. I had no idea that my intentions could be interpreted in that way. I will certainly think about how my gifts could be perceived from now on.

I hope that most of the gifts I buy in future will be what someone wants to receive, but I guess that there are bound to be times when I am way off the mark.

Once upon a time people were grateful to receive a gift! It now seems buying a gift is a minefield, full of selfish people who just want what they perceive as the perfect gift! Your gift can offend because it's too expensive or too cheap! Unbelievable! Or they want money because a gift is not good enough! It's so, so depressing!

Welshwoofs

Good god in heaven; who'd have thought that the simple buying of a gift could turn into such a political bloody minefield?

Op - I'd simply ask your SiL if you were on the right lines with the Boden clothes you bought, or if something else would be more appropriate. That way you've opened the subject and if it transpires that what you got wasn't 'right' for any reason, she's got an opportunity to steer you in another direction.

To all the people who've said that Primark would be a more appropriate buy - I'd just point out if you're into ethnical shopping Primark would not be appropriate at all. I'd go nuts if anyone bought me something from Primark, not because it's cheap, but because their clothes are made in sweatshops. I'd rather have a second hand item that was made ethnically sourced than a new item made by people earning the equivalent of 7p an hour (which is what War on Want found when investigating the Bangadeshi sweatshops where some Primark clothes were being made)

mildred1978

lexuslass wrote: »

His family buy the children lovely clothes - but I get really annoyed that they don't ask what size to buy them!! his sister saw a dress for my daughter for her birthday this year (age 3 but she is only really in age 2-3 clothes!)... she bought her age 4-5... it was massive!! it will not fit her next year.. it will probably be put away somewhere and I'll find it again when she has completely outgrown it when I clearout when she is about 7 or 8!!!! I get quite embarrassed because I would love his family to see the children in the outfits they buy them sometimes!

Couldn't you just take it back and get the same outfit in the right size? That's what I have done (my son is still only in 9-12 month clothes at 14 months - and some of those are too big).

delain

mildred1978 wrote: »

Couldn't you just take it back and get the same outfit in the right size? That's what I have done (my son is still only in 9-12 month clothes at 14 months - and some of those are too big).

Every year my nan sends a party dress for my older 3.... every year she rings and asks me what size, so I tell her (always TU from Sainsburys, she works in a huge store so I know the size I tell her is the right one) and every year without fail she sends the size down. It's like she forgets what I said and just reads the age in the label... they are all very tall, DD1 is 9 and in age 11 coming up to age 12, Twins are 7 and in age 8.

Sadly there isn't a large sainsbury's that does party dresses anywhere near here (my nan lives 400 miles away) so we always have to change them for something less pretty, and often without the children seeing them as they'd be upset to be given a dress they can't wear

I am thankful she does it though, she buys them school bits too, and the gingham summer dresses from sainsbury's are lovely, and our local store stocks those so I can change the sizes