Bought clothes for toddler niece but she never wore them

osian

To the OP, I wouldn't worry. Toddler clothes can vary so much in size, even when bought in the same shop. Sometimes we get clothes (presents) for my daughter and they won't fit for another year. So birthday presents that were given last November are only starting to fit now this winter. Occasionally my daughter gets clothes as presents which are starting to get too small when given, so they will only get a couple of months use.

My daughter is usually bang on average weight and height for her age.


Small children tend to get dirty fairly quickly too, so my daughter may have a top on in the morning, for example, and by the afternoon I will have to change her and put the top for washing. So they are not always on all day.


I always thank the gift giver by thank you letter regardless and we are always grateful, but they won't always see my daughter wearing the clothes - or it may be in the next year, not immediately if the fit is big.

On a side note, if we are given a lot of expensive presents, I sort of mentally groan inside and try and add up how much was spent and feel that I have to buy presents to the same value for the present giver next time. We are not hard up at all, but try and be bargain shoppers so it's not the sort of money I want to spend iyswim? I'd rather have a smaller, less expensive gift. I don't know if I am a bit odd in my thinking though?

Lunar_Eclipse

Wow, we're talking about Boden clothes, not Ferrari cars!

My first thought was also that she might have sold the clothes. They fetch almost full price on Ebay, so if she really needed the money, she may well have done this.

Secondly, you haven't done anything wrong OP. Your gesture was kind and thoughtful and involved buying your niece clothes that you know her mother likes. I'd probably forget about it.

Thirdly, I'm surprised that so many people have vocalised their opinions of madness & grandeur about people buying children's clothing from Boden. I have found that parents usually buy their children clothing in line with their finances. Thus in families where parents wear expensive clothing, children aren't usually decked out from Primark. And vice versa.

Boden make everyday clothes of outstanding quality, though sadly it's not what it used to be. They also sell expensive party wear and clothes inbetween. Bought in the sale, it's about twice the price of far inferior quality clothing. Primark is hardly a fair comparison or comparable alternative, though many children, mine included, have clothes from both brands in their wardrobes. I would much rather buy well cut, thick and comfortable Boden trousers for £10-15 in the sale that last two children and then fetch £8-15 on Ebay, than a £5 pair from Primark that in our experience don't survive one child and aren't as well made either. That's moneysaving for you!

euronorris

esmerelda98 - No, I quite often comment on things I would like but can't afford. Especially if I'm out in town with friends or family and see something I like, but it's out of my price range. It certainly doesn't have to be as expensive as a Ferrari to fit that category. I don't have much money right now to spare for anything, so I consider an item of clothing, that costs more than 25 quid out of my price range right now.

I understand your point of view with gift giving, but mine is different. I feel that if I am to give a gift, it is because I want to get them something that I know they will love. For me, it's all about them. There will be certain things we're sure of, like a favourite perfume for example, but other stuff I would always check first (it can be done subtley too) and I always check with my siblings about what to get the kids. Their tastes and interests change so quickly right now, it's too difficult to keep up with who likes what.

There's no right or wrong, as I said, just different views on things, so the OP needs to speak to the SIL about this.

mildred1978

osian wrote: »

On a side note, if we are given a lot of expensive presents, I sort of mentally groan inside and try and add up how much was spent and feel that I have to buy presents to the same value for the present giver next time. We are not hard up at all, but try and be bargain shoppers so it's not the sort of money I want to spend iyswim? I'd rather have a smaller, less expensive gift. I don't know if I am a bit odd in my thinking though?

That's exactly how I feel too.

pinkclouds

nancypearl wrote: »

My sil and partner are financially strapped.
I bought loads of clothes from Boden for my toddler niece. I have never seen her in any of them or any photos of her in them. Sil dresses her in charity shop clothes, primark, hand-me-downs from friends and home-made.
I genuinely believed that some clothes would be welcomed and worn as sil has previously said how much she would like to be able to afford to buy from Boden.
I appreciate that Sil has her own taste and niece is her daughter so she can dress her how she likes. Could I have got it so wrong?
I can't help feeling disapointed that my gesture was rejected.

Please reply honestly. I would rather be told the truth from mother's who have in-laws that buy their kids clothes. I can't ask Sil, obviously.

Stuff from in-laws and everyone else (family, friends, etc) does not always get used because it may be too small or too large or otherwise fit badly or my kids may not like the style and refuse to be dressed in them or they may be so... not to my taste that they end up discretely re-gifted or otherwise disposed of. However, the actual gift in itself is appreciated as a gift. It's the thought that counts - and a gift is a kindness to the recipient, who duly thinks kind things about the giver.

My toddler (2 years old) is not too bad and will generally wear most things without comment. My pre-schooler (4 years old) will refuse to wear something she doesn't like. She has a particular dislike of trousers and generally lives in dresses. I think she started this... maybe about 3 years old. Of course, some kids are even more precocious. Now, while some things I will insist upon (such as wearing a warm winter coat), other things I will let slide because I don't see the point in enforcing them (such as expensive trousers, regardless of who gifted them).

Hope that is helpful. And it was kind of you to gift expensive clothes. However, that was the gift in itself. It's not terribly important what happened to them afterwards. Money in your niece's trust fund would be longer term gift and under your niece's control, if that is an issue to you.

TJH_2

Ohhhh Mildred you little liar!!!:p What about the thread where you were upset because your sister got more stuff than you.

mildred1978

TJH wrote: »

Ohhhh Mildred you little liar!!!:p What about the thread where you were upset because your sister got more stuff than you.

(sigh)

It wasn't about the value of the gifts, or even the frequency, but the inequality of it. If you're going to hark back to old posts, at least have the courtesy to understand what they say.

LittleMissAspie

nancypearl wrote: »

I genuinely thought that a couple of dresses, some tights, a cardigan and a coat would be worn.

I couldn't be bothered to read six pages of arguing but I don't think anyone has pointed this out yet - it hasn't really been the weather for tights, cardigan and coat yet. At least not where I am, it was 18c at the weekend and is 15c today.

It was nice of you to buy a treat for your niece but I think you're now over-thinking and over-reacting and taking things too personally.

Any

OP, I think what you have done is extremely thoughtfull. And I am 100% sure your SIL was beside herself for that thought.

HOWEVER. Imagine you like Armani Exchange. You cannot really afford it, and someone gives you top as a present. Are you really going to wear it to wash your car??

It is one thing to buy Armani top in charity shop and wear it anytime and something else knowing very well it was the full price and it is brand new and feeling that you cannot possibly wear it just to the park. What if it gets dirty, ripped or something.

Maybe your sister in law is just like that...

And I also think you are seriously overthinking it. Ask whether they want something specific next time and see what they suggest. At least you won't have to worry whether the present was appreciated. You will get them something they specificaly asked for.

(I do that every year and never ever get any answer, because my nieces have absolutely everything and every time they are so overwhelmed by all the presents they get that each present get about 3 seconds spent over and that is it. Long time ago I stopped fretting over the best present and how appreciated it is or isn't).

Any

TJH wrote: »

Ohhhh Mildred you little liar!!!:p What about the thread where you were upset because your sister got more stuff than you.

Only materialistic people see materialistic reason behind everything..

You have obviously never read the whole thing, have you.