Moving on from a break up...Part Deux!

claire16c

She sounds like a crazy person to me. I think you should be glad you wont have someone who acts like this in your life anymore. Dont waste any more of your life on them.

Hagar_uk

Can you really just be friends?, I broke up months ago and tried that be friends thing, i wanted to be close to my ex, as she had been a very good friend, but things get murky, some days you might think about wanting more, she might have the same idea, there is nothing worse than wanting something you can't have.

if its still hard, cut it off compeletly, delete all contact details,if not for you, but also any future partner.

I wish i could follow my own advice, but as I have a child and see the mother of my child every week I live groundhog day every weekend

lufcgirl wrote: »

Being friends is something I could do, I'd rather have her there as a friend than not in my life at all. And that may not make sense to a lot of people, but she was/is a huge part of my life and just because we've broke up it's not a reason for us both to disappear from each others lives.


Another thing too is that I have (I think) maybe met someone else. But I know I'm not over my ex, they know that too. They've basically supported me through the whole break up and called and listened to me literally all the time. She's a lovely girl but lives quite far away! And has a lot of hangers on herself, and she says I'm perfect but she'd couldn't be with me because she'd compare herself to my ex too much. So I think today has made me realise I need to start looking at what's right infront of me rather than what could have been.

lufcgirl

Well it's happened again! I have absolutely no idea what is going on and I'm beginning to get fed up and told her so...

Saturday afternoon a text saying that she doesn't want me in her life and to 'please respect that'
Last night, 11pm a call from her lasting an hour and a half. She started off nice enough all over again. I asked her why she called and she said because she misses me and it's clear she's not over it. By 45mins through she was back to saying I was childish, sheltered, immature and needed to evolve. She said (again) after this call she knows she's never going to call back because this is her closure. She's in love with someone else apparently and when I asked how can she be in love with someone else when she's just said she's not over us she couldn't reply.
I told her I'm fed up of being this person she runs to, she either wants me in her life or not, but she can't end every phone call saying she never wants to speak to me again. It's becoming quite predictable with the calls now, so I'm guessing she's going to mix it up a bit and wait a week or so before calling next!

Anyway, as I posted in the dating thread, I have a sort of date in about ten days that I'm looking forward to and it's certainly taking my mind off her and everything else. I'm just waiting for the day I wake up and she's not the first thing I think of! Still believe she's my 'one', but as I told her yesterday, I love her with all my heart but I really dislike her as a person.

rachbc

why do you answer the phone?

lufcgirl

rachbc wrote: »

why do you answer the phone?

Because for ten minutes I always believe she's going to it's all been one huge mistake until she flips again! And I'm scared if I don't answer the phone then I won't ever speak to her again.

Caroline_a

lufcgirl wrote: »

Because for ten minutes I always believe she's going to it's all been one huge mistake until she flips again! And I'm scared if I don't answer the phone then I won't ever speak to her again.

What you are doing is a little like picking a scab off. You know that it will bleed because it hasn't healed, but you still do it. And it hurts. So stop answering the phone, you do NOT want to be there for her, she made her decision, now she has to live with it. Ignore texts, don't text back, because each time you're picking away, and the scab will never ever heal!

rachbc

[QUOTE=lufcgirl;48529959And_I'm_scared_if_I_don't_answer_the_phone_then_I_won't_ever_speak_to_her_again.[/QUOTE]

And why would that be so bad considering how she is treating you?

lufcgirl

Because as per the previous posts, I'm not quite ready to let her go yet. I do love her and always will, but I hate the person she has become.

She treats me badly and she has no idea she is doing it. To her she's a perfectly reasonable, sensible adult and it's me that is completely in the wrong. I want some stability. I get she's not coming back right now, but I'm fed up of being up and down with her, and told her as much. So we will see if she ever calls again or not, I have no idea. Chances are she will but right now I'm back to square one yet again!

lufcgirl

Caroline_a wrote: »

What you are doing is a little like picking a scab off. You know that it will bleed because it hasn't healed, but you still do it. And it hurts. So stop answering the phone, you do NOT want to be there for her, she made her decision, now she has to live with it. Ignore texts, don't text back, because each time you're picking away, and the scab will never ever heal!

She doesn't ever text, other than that message on Saturday. It's always phone calls. And I get that in her own twisted way she does miss me and I know she isn't over it, it's obvious! But you are completely correct, I know I need to stop answering to her all of the time...she knows right now I'd just pick up. So it stops, well if she ever calls again I won't answer.

This is the biggest emotional rollercoaster I have ever been on in my life!

gonzo127

get a free pay as you go sim, pop that in your phone for most of the time and only put your current sim back in once a week just to see whats happening and pick up any messages, dont give yourself the ability to answer her call as you know you will do when you see her name