New and scared but so determined

Knitting_Nora

freebyfifty wrote: »

Christmas :eek:
Not having enough money :eek:
Not giving my girls a Christmas they deserve :eek:
Being judged by my less financially challenged family (or my loadsacash pain in the articles SIL to be precise) :eek:
Adding to my debt :eek:
Just Christmas :eek:

and.......oh yeah.....
Christmas :eek:



:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

So, and bear in mind that I'm no expert, looking at your post, I'd say the real issue is with Christmas...do you agree?

Break it down into chunks:

Not having enough money - How much would be enough? In reality, I'll bet you actually have more properly available than ever before. The difference is that previously you didn't have the money, and were content to load it onto cards/overdraft etc.

Not giving the girls the Christmas they deserve - seems a perfectly reasonable worry for any decent parent. So what would such a Christmas look like to you? And how about asking the girls what it would look like to them - what would make it different from a normal weekend? It's easy to get worked up over something when it's so vague, so let's pop some fact down and see whether you're on track to give them (and yourself) the Christmas you actually want.

Being judged by your less financially challenged family (or your loadsacash pain in the articles SIL to be precise) - be honest. Do they really judge you - or do you assume that judgement on their behalf? I ask, because it's one of my favourite tricks and it's pretty debilitating. If they really do judge you, or they're really just a pain in the article (I have a stepmother like that...) then ask yourself whether their opinion of your increasingly practical and fab life is really that important. Chances are you can love and appreciate (or at least tolerate) them without really needing to worry about their opinion too much.

Adding to your debt
Again, seems perfectly reasonable to me! But look how much more in command you are after just a month. Next month will give you a chance to carry on your learning - and though I know we shouldn't say it, if the worst happens and you do add to your debt, you know enough now to ensure you'll draw a line after Christmas and start over.

Just Christmas
Well, yeah, sure - but see the point above about checking in with the girls to see what your little team's idea of a good Christmas really looks like. Might help you manage your expectations, and not be so freaked by what is really just a few days off work, and a chance to be home with the girls and eat too much (you might want to pop your towel on the sofa early).

Personally, I'll be happy this Christmas if I remember not to send the Christmas presents to storage!!

Nora.x

freebyfifty

Missus Knitty - you are so lovely, you are like the oil on my troubled waters, the eye in my storm, the lighthouse on a dark night etc etc etc

You have calmed me down

I did ask my girlies what their perfect Christmas would be like and surprisingly they didn't come up with lists and list of stuff (although presents did feature) DD1 wanted to be with her family the most (!) and DD2 wanted snow :eek:
I can do the first but not quite sure how to go about producing the second - any ideas???????

I know I'm in a panic and I know that it's because I am determined not to add to my debt. I also know (how clever am I???) that previous years I just racked up catalogue bills and credit card bills and thought 'I'll deal with those in January' (but didn't)

I know (now I'm just being a smart ar$3) that I have done my very best this year to give them the very best I can afford and that's all I can do.

And as for my SIL - she can think what she likes, in the grand scheme of things, her opinion ain't that important.


See how you've calmed me down? I know all these things I just have to remember them.


Thank you Missus Knitty. :happyhear

Northern_Lassy

You have my sympathies Freeby...My brother and his wife always spend a huge amount on presents for everyone, then moan about having shedloads of debt. I don't even try to match them any more, I am not getting into (more) debt for an occasion I loathe for people I whose opinion I don't really value... ( I just found out that my brother is hawking himself on a popular dating website - denying he has a wife or child (my 9 year old niece) whilst his wife is posting on FB how wonderful her husband is!! Well, those are not values I aspire to!
Stuff the lot of em, lets all cross fingers that mini Freeby gets her snow
:snow_grin

freebyfifty

Northern_Lassy wrote: »

You have my sympathies Freeby...My brother and his wife always spend a huge amount on presents for everyone, then moan about having shedloads of debt. I don't even try to match them any more, I am not getting into (more) debt for an occasion I loathe for people I whose opinion I don't really value... ( I just found out that my brother is hawking himself on a popular dating website - denying he has a wife or child (my 9 year old niece) whilst his wife is posting on FB how wonderful her husband is!! Well, those are not values I aspire to!
Stuff the lot of em, lets all cross fingers that mini Freeby gets her snow
:snow_grin

Thank you Northern Lassy.

Your brother sounds like a bit of a 'character'

My brother has an amazing job (I do admit he works hard) and she doesn't work, stays at home although kids are at school (which is fine if you can afford it) and devotes her time to increasing the size of her backside, if you want my opinion (she cetainly doesn't do any housework).
She just has the uncanny knack of making me feel very insecure.

What a b!t**h I am (true colours coming out now)


*sings* Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow (just not on the days I have to drive to work!)

moo2moo

Aw freebyfifty that sounds like you need educating in the ways of the frugal. Have you discovered The Book People (via Quidco for cashback) you get some awesome gifts at a fraction of their publicised coast. As an eample the vast majority of the Diaries of a Wimpy Kid will set you back £6 for a set of 5 rather than £6 a book. If you peruse the many delights of their website you can come up with cracking gifts for pretty much everyone for very little outlay.

As far as Christmas goes my daughters love opening parcels they're not overly bothered what the contents are so as long as theres Haribo and chocolate oranges they're happy. The most important part of Christmas for them is being allowed to eat chocolate in PJs before breakfast whilst watching the telly box without anyone bating an eyelid.

Perhaps you could get DD2 a snowglobe?

freebyfifty

moo2moo wrote: »

Aw freebyfifty that sounds like you need educating in the ways of the frugal. Have you discovered The Book People (via Quidco for cashback) you get some awesome gifts at a fraction of their publicised coast. As an eample the vast majority of the Diaries of a Wimpy Kid will set you back £6 for a set of 5 rather than £6 a book. If you peruse the many delights of their website you can come up with cracking gifts for pretty much everyone for very little outlay.

As far as Christmas goes my daughters love opening parcels they're not overly bothered what the contents are so as long as theres Haribo and chocolate oranges they're happy. The most important part of Christmas for them is being allowed to eat chocolate in PJs before breakfast whilst watching the telly box without anyone bating an eyelid.

Perhaps you could get DD2 a snowglobe?

Do you have my kids?????

The one thing both of them mentioned was being allowed to eat chocolate for breakfast :rotfl: And Christmas isn't Christmas without a chocolate orange

Thanks for the book people tip - I can feel a dent in the £300 coming on

MuffinTops

Something else to bear in mind regarding SIL is that she can't know you very well to judge the way she does. So, in my experience, people who do instantly judge are feeling insecure from that person themselves. Honestly, why else would anyone be like that? Mean streaks tend to come out in mean people when they're thrown a bit, so there's definitely something about you she's a bit jealous of. Trust me!

Also, you've signed up a diary a short month ago and look how many of us you have hanging on your updates? I genuinely sit at my desk thinking "ooh, I wonder if there's an update today" and then get excited when i check and there is. So a negative action from someone can hopefully be negated by your very own "subscribers" who all think you're lovely. How many subscribers does she have to anything she does?????? I rest my case!

Radish72

Hi

Just an idea on the snow front, do you have a white furry blanket or even a white sheet.

Put it down on the living room floor and have an indoor picnic with your girls, pretend snow, time with family and lots of turkey sandwiches to eat

freebyfifty

MuffinTops wrote: »

Also, you've signed up a diary a short month ago and look how many of us you have hanging on your updates? I genuinely sit at my desk thinking "ooh, I wonder if there's an update today" and then get excited when i check and there is. So a negative action from someone can hopefully be negated by your very own "subscribers" who all think you're lovely. How many subscribers does she have to anything she does?????? I rest my case!

Muffy (I hope I can call you that:))

What a lovely, lovely thing to say. I'm really not doing anything special. Just plodding along in my own freeby way

Thank you, I am honoured to have you along :grinheart

Radish72 wrote: »

Hi

Just an idea on the snow front, do you have a white furry blanket or even a white sheet.

Put it down on the living room floor and have an indoor picnic with your girls, pretend snow, time with family and lots of turkey sandwiches to eat

What a brilliant idea, thank you :T I will do this one dark, cold night and give them a snow party

firesidemaid

freebyfifty wrote: »

I did a live web chat with a lovely man called Tom, he was most helpful. In fact I think I may ask him to marry me.

lol. loved this;)