rant..moan..school..bullying.

mumps

Not all bullying is physical so "hitting back" isn't going to be possible if no one hit in the first place. My DD had years of bullying, the school were useless, the Head wouldn't even talk to me in the end. A Governor saw one incident and intervened and we got some help. In the end DD self harmed, just superficially. She was 10, went to a teacher she trusted, not her teacher, and said what she did. The school suddenly dealt with it all and it stopped just like that. It was a terrible thing to hear what she did but it did show what they could do if they put their minds to it.

zoelouise88

Proc wrote: »

OP is this your son?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePI3v8zjYEY

that looks extremely painful and also extremly dangerous :eek: im actually shocked by that video surely he could have cdone some serious damage with that move

zoelouise88

fedupnow wrote: »

The school has to. They have a duty of care. The law is on her side, it may not feel like it, but it is. We need strong parents to take the authorities on and insist they do their job. These are our children!!


And I disagree with the second comment. Going into a school which ignores bullying is far more damaging emotionally than staying home. And I question how much he is learning while having to watch his back all the time.

Just to point out as i said before he has a statement in place which has taken along time to get and we were very lucky to get and so in class has an adult with him at all times so his learning is fine also the kids involved are in the class above so its only playtimes he gets any trouble. He has made it clear he loves it in class and is always happy and wanting to learn it is just at playtime he is worried about.

zoelouise88

balletshoes wrote: »

I bolded part of your post - have you actually had a meeting with the head before about any issues your son has had at the school in the year he's been going, have you actually written to the head with any issues? Or are you going on whats happened with teachers so far when you've spoken to them?

I lost count of the ammount of times ive seen class teacher and the head teacher. Weve had several meetings and each time they have said there has been nothing going on.

I actually had a meeting with head last friday where she told me my son was probably just making it up and imagining it all, when i pointed out his 2 cousins had also seen it an try to stop the bullies they too were apparntly making it up.

zoelouise88

Some of you have said by hitting back a bully they will just go on to bully someone else and i agree they may well do but as a mother my job is to protect my son and keep him safe.

Do you suggest my son just let these boys carry on hitting him? In total is been going on a year now as it started last september but stopped around april time of this year and started back up again in september after the summer holidays.

Im literally at my wits end the last time i went in to see the head(last week) i was almost in tears as it really is so frustrating that my son is being phsically and emotionally hurt by these boys and the teachers have done nothing but say it isnt happening.

Im sorry i may sound horrible but im am not willing to let my son be hurt just to stop some one else child being hurt. Maybe if they did move on to another kid and thier parents complained as well the school may finally take notice and take action against the bullies.

fedupnow

zoelouise88 wrote: »

Just to point out as i said before he has a statement in place which has taken along time to get and we were very lucky to get and so in class has an adult with him at all times so his learning is fine also the kids involved are in the class above so its only playtimes he gets any trouble. He has made it clear he loves it in class and is always happy and wanting to learn it is just at playtime he is worried about.

Hi Zoelouise

I understand - truly. I know how hard and long a parent has to fight to have their child statemented. That's a whole other thread! You shouldn't think 'we were lucky to get' - you're entitled to it. You're also entitled to relax in the knowledge your son is not targeted by bullies. Your son is very lucky to have you. Lots don't get the support that I know you must have given him.

I do understand how and why he came to hitting back, please don't think I don't. But now is the time to stop being grateful for the statement and start insisting they ensure he is not targeted at playtime. I know it feels like a constant battle and they might make you feel like a 'nuisance' or 'problem parent' but don't let them bully you into going away.

I am wondering why he isn't confiding in the person who sits with him. I hope it's the same person, is it? It should be. He should have a strong relationship with him/her and so be able to confide. S/he is in the best position to offer advice AND have some influence with the teachers. At least one would hope so.

fedupnow

zoelouise88 wrote: »

Some of you have said by hitting back a bully they will just go on to bully someone else and i agree they may well do but as a mother my job is to protect my son and keep him safe.

Do you suggest my son just let these boys carry on hitting him? In total is been going on a year now as it started last september but stopped around april time of this year and started back up again in september after the summer holidays.

Im literally at my wits end the last time i went in to see the head(last week) i was almost in tears as it really is so frustrating that my son is being phsically and emotionally hurt by these boys and the teachers have done nothing but say it isnt happening.

Im sorry i may sound horrible but im am not willing to let my son be hurt just to stop some one else child being hurt. Maybe if they did move on to another kid and thier parents complained as well the school may finally take notice and take action against the bullies.

Oh gosh. You don't sound horrible.

And you actually make a very good point - more parents complaining equals more clout. Come on parents, stand up and be counted.

I do think we as parents have been conditioned to have a low expectation of the schools. I think we need to push them into raising the bar.

The very minimum ... the MINIMUM we should expect, is for them to come home in one piece.

Hells bells whats wrong with us? (I've had a beer now, can you tell?) These are our kids!! And we think it's okay that they should have to have fistfights in bloody nursery school?

Something is wrong.

zoelouise88

fedupnow wrote: »

I am wondering why he isn't confiding in the person who sits with him. I hope it's the same person, is it? It should be. He should have a strong relationship with him/her and so be able to confide. S/he is in the best position to offer advice AND have some influence with the teachers. At least one would hope so.

Yes the teacher he has with him has stayed with him since he started in reception, he would nt tell her as the bullies told him if he told anyone they would hurt him - even thou they already were this scared him and stopped him from telling.

fedupnow

zoelouise88 wrote: »

Yes the teacher he has with him has stayed with him since he started in reception, he would nt tell her as the bullies told him if he told anyone they would hurt him - even thou they already were this scared him and stopped him from telling.

Have you told her? I bet if she knew she'd put a stop to it.

At least she would if I got hold of her .

I mean I'd be assertive, obviously.

zoelouise88

fedupnow wrote: »

Have you told her? I bet if she knew she'd put a stop to it.

At least she would if I got hold of her .

I mean I'd be assertive, obviously.

Yes ive told her she also seemed to think it wasnt happening. The statement only covers constant adult supervision during classroom time the head applied for it for playtimes as well which was rejected but she has appealed it so hopefully if the appeal is accepted then he will have an adult with him at all times which should stop the bullying.

On a plus my son came home from school and said he had no problems with the bullies today :T