rant..moan..school..bullying.

Sambucus_Nigra

fedupnow wrote: »

Hells bells whats wrong with us? (I've had a beer now, can you tell?) These are our kids!! And we think it's okay that they should have to have fistfights in bloody nursery school?

I don't think that anyone has suggested that having fistfights in nursery school is a good idea; just that if someone is being bullied they should stand up for themselves. I think you should perhaps lay off the booze if it plays with your ability to rationalise this much?

fedupnow

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

I don't think that anyone has suggested that having fistfights in nursery school is a good idea; just that if someone is being bullied they should stand up for themselves. I think you should perhaps lay off the booze if it plays with your ability to rationalise this much?

:rotfl:

My opinion will stand in the morning.

Let me rephrase. If we think nursery children having fistfights is acceptable then there is something very wrong.

EDIT: Of course, I never said anybody claimed it was good I said people seemed to think it 'okay'.

fedupnow

zoelouise88 wrote: »

Yes ive told her she also seemed to think it wasnt happening. The statement only covers constant adult supervision during classroom time the head applied for it for playtimes as well which was rejected but she has appealed it so hopefully if the appeal is accepted then he will have an adult with him at all times which should stop the bullying.

On a plus my son came home from school and said he had no problems with the bullies today :T

I'm glad he's had a good day. Let's hope he continues to do so.

Sambucus_Nigra

fedupnow wrote: »

:rotfl:

My opinion will stand in the morning.

Let me rephrase. If we think nursery children having fistfights is acceptable then there is something very wrong.

EDIT: Of course, I never said anybody claimed it was good I said people seemed to think it 'okay'.

It's not OK at all; but if it's the last resort for someone, then it's better than being battered. At any age.

digitalphase

Lotus-eater wrote: »

When my DD started school, I told her if anyone hit her on purpose, to hit straight back, don't even think about it.
Some little thug whacked her on purpose, so she punched him straight back on the nose (I'd taught her how to punch so she could hold a proper fist). Guess what? No more problems and that was 2.5 years ago.

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I was bullied at school and was told not to hit back, so I didn't. It did me good though. Years of hell good.
So yes, I am nice to know and I'm damn sure my kids are going to be able to protect themselves and have my backup when they do.

I agree with Lotus-eater in the most part.

From personal experience, around about the age we're talking about, I did have reason to see red. A boy was really peeing me off, I can't remember it all as we're going back about 22 years, but I remember he kept repeating what I was saying and generally being an annoying little tit. I punched him in the face and made his nose bleed.
Yes, I did get in trouble with the school, but he never tried it again! In fact, he gave me a wide berth :rotfl:

I was also bullied at high school, admittedly mostly mental, and the one time I was hit the little sl%g ran off to the head of year to tell her what she'd done before I had a chance to smash her face in
The opportunity to get my own back never arose, as we finished high school a few weeks after that. Of course she was always with her mates anyway.

I shall certainly be advising my boy that if he is ever hit intentionally, he should hit straight back.
I will not teach him that it is correct behaviour to go around beating people up unwarranted, as it isn't at all, but I will teach him to stick up for himself if/when he needs to.

Maybe I was wrong to smack the kid in the nose when he was mickey taking, but I had learned already that teachers or dinner ladies do nothing to stop bullying. I remember complaining of being picked on and having dinner ladies tell me to "run along and play nicely". We had jokes about it as kids that we could go up to them with our arms hanging off and the dinner ladies would still say "run along and play nicely"... Their standard reply as they just didn't give a !!!!!!.

Yes, teachers are there to teach, but like with many jobs their job description is expendable and adaptable. I remember many a lesson being stopped and compromised due to weak willed teachers refusing to just chuck the trouble makers out of the class and carry on teaching. Instead they favoured making the class sit in silence until the troublemakers decided to stop messing around. Which they never did. So, what result did that give? We missed out on our lesson, and the trouble makers were given power by the teachers that they could control them! Wonderful.

You can try the softly softly approach all you like with your kids, but I firmly believe that children need to learn right from wrong at an early age. It is WRONG to go around hitting children, so RIGHTFULLY they should be hit back! If they have a problem with it, don't start on my kid!

Woe betide anyone who did anything to my boy anyway - he's a big strong boy at 5.5 months and already the size and build of a kid who's walking. He'd receive my and his father's full support if he was being bullied and defended himself.

bestpud

It is inevitable some children will eventually plant those who hurt them. We all have a limit after all! But I think it is right to point out how violence is wrong in our society.

'Self-defence' tactics must be less than or equal to the violence being received, so it's really not ok to teach children to put someone on their rear end if they poke him lightly on the back, for example.

I don't like this idea of placing responsibility on the victim anyway. It is not their fault and that is an awful message to give them if their tactic doesn't actually work.

Bullying is not always physical so what then? It couldn't be 'self-defence'?

My other worry is the way some parents accept bullying as being part of school life! If we went into work and a colleague thumped us, would we just tell our boss and allow them to sort it in their own time?

Of course not! But we do this with children! Many of us continue to send them in the hope it will get better, or someone will sort it out. Can you imagine walking to work every day in the thought we'd be cornered
and hit, jeered at, spat at, or other equally horrible actions?

If we were in town with our child and someone did that to them; would we wait until tomorrow to sort it? No! So why is it ok to act slowly when they aren't with us?

Children are dealing with this every day and adults are letting them down 'because it's at school'!

Sorry for the rant - I'm seeing so many children suffering at the moment and it winds me up when parents seem to feel they must turn their child into someone who reacts with their fist, or wait for the school to move their rear ends and sort it out!

We have a duty to get tough with these weak schools and make them take action!

fedupnow

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

It's not OK at all; but if it's the last resort for someone, then it's better than being battered. At any age.

Five and a half months and in training above.

Just to clarify. I fully understand the ops and all victims of bullying snapping and giving the bully a good clout. That's a last resort, yeah? Sometimes it might work, sometimes it can make it worse.

But some kids can't/won't fight back. And I disagree with teaching kids to fight and/or parents saying it's okay to hit people. It's not.

If a kid is getting bullied at school the school needs to take action. End of. There is no good them waiting for a fistfight or self-harming. It needs to be sorted as soon as it starts. This is the time the parents should be at the school making as much noise as necessary. I hate writing this, as it sounds like I am blaming the parent - but I'm not, honest. I've been there and I know how impossibly tough it can be.

I'm tired of teachers making parents feel as if they are being a nuisance when they complain about sub-standard teaching methods. I've known some people make more noise about their pizza being late. We should expect ... no demand ... our kids be safe in school.

I get frustrated when I read posts suggesting kids who have suffered bullying have no back bone, or are weak or wimpy. They're not. Anybody at any age can suffer from bullying. It doesn't matter how big or strong, how pretty or clever ... it can happen for any reason the bully takes a fancy to.

fedupnow

bestpud wrote: »

It is inevitable some children will eventually plant those who hurt them. We all have a limit after all! But I think it is right to point out how violence is wrong in our society.

'Self-defence' tactics must be less than or equal to the violence being received, so it's really not ok to teach children to put someone on their rear end if they poke him lightly on the back, for example.

I don't like this idea of placing responsibility on the victim anyway. It is not their fault and that is an awful message to give them if their tactic doesn't actually work.

Bullying is not always physical so what then? It couldn't be 'self-defence'?

My other worry is the way some parents accept bullying as being part of school life! If we went into work and a colleague thumped us, would we just tell our boss and allow them to sort it in their own time?

Of course not! But we do this with children! Many of us continue to send them in the hope it will get better, or someone will sort it out. Can you imagine walking to work every day in the thought we'd be cornered
and hit, jeered at, spat at, or other equally horrible actions?

If we were in town with our child and someone did that to them; would we wait until tomorrow to sort it? No! So why is it ok to act slowly when they aren't with us?

Children are dealing with this every day and adults are letting them down 'because it's at school'!

Sorry for the rant - I'm seeing so many children suffering at the moment and it winds me up when parents seem to feel they must turn their child into someone who reacts with their fist, or wait for the school to move their rear ends and sort it out!

We have a duty to get tough with these weak schools and make them take action!

:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T:T

Hallelujah

Sambucus_Nigra

fedupnow wrote: »

But some kids can't/won't fight back. And I disagree with teaching kids to fight and/or parents saying it's okay to hit people. It's not.

Nobody has said it is ok to fight or hit people. It's just been you that have misunderstood the intentions of parents who teach their kids how to respond if it happens. It's SELF-DEFENCE not AGRESSION. You really need to understand the difference.

Dave101t

as a male i can say that violence does solve these problems and hitting the biggest bully hardest always works.
thats why bullies exist of course...because namby pambies are told to 'walk away' or 'ask them why they are hitting you'.