Is this legally/morally right?

Birdy12

Yup, I'm in agreement with clearingout and Fbaby as well.

Interesting to see that OP hasn't posted since 8.15pm yesterday to any further comments made.

Suspect she was looking for lots of posts confirming that the mother, indeed, is not worthy of having children, should be reported to Social Services and, what the hell, be banned from going to Zumba classes forever more .

Well, sorry OP, but you're not going to get that sort of support from me.

Birdy

Birdy12

Would it have made a difference if mum had gone out for an hour to go to the chemist to get some medication for the child?

Are you/your partner angry because she left the child for an hour on her own or because she went to a Zumba class for an hour? Because, it strikes me that that's the thing you're most peeved about.

Nicki

How about during the marriage if dad had left the child alone for half an hour so he could sneak out to phone the OP on his mobile to arrange to meet her behind the wife's back? Maybe while the wife was at zumba

peachyprice

Nicki wrote: »

How about during the marriage if dad had left the child alone for half an hour so he could sneak out to phone the OP on his mobile to arrange to meet her behind the wife's back? Maybe while the wife was at zumba

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

It's amazing isn't it, how the two people who were the cause of the child being the product of a broken home, get on their moral high horses when it suits.

OP, I'm guessing you didn't have concerns about the welfare of you OH's children when you jumped into bed with him?

sassyblue

The first question you need to ask is, was his daughter asked if it was okay her mum went to zumba and left her on her own?

If she said yes to that then it's a lesson for her to say no in future.

Secondly why is the daughter not telling her mum she was frightened? (Apols if she has haven't read all the thread).

If the daughter wasn't asked, then your husband could say something to her mum, but not all guns blazing.... and no her going to zumba is not at all like sitting in a pub - if this is hubbys reasoning l can see why the wife is no longer with him.....

Seanymph

I got as far as clearingout's post ready to post something very similar (but possibly more scathing) and lo and behold the forum came good - with extra research in for bonus to back up how I was feeling!

I have been a single mum, criticised and poked at by the ex and his new woman - to the kids, openly, and frequently. Believe it or not this woman has actually said to my children 'I'm a better mother than your mum, just ask my friends'. That sentence. I have strong feelings about new girlfriends who assume too much responsibility over parenting other people's children.

I've also been a step mum (in fact I still am) - and in one relationship, my first where he had kids - I took on far too much, tried to play happy families too much, and still feel I owe the lady in question an apology.

I've walked in all the shoes........ am now raising three kids of his, and two of mine........ and can say categorically and without any fear of now misunderstanding that in my opinion this has nothing at all to do with the OP. Nothing.

That the adults here - the OP and her fella - are out of line, this is the mum's time with the daughter, she made the best call she could for the child - and that listening, entertaining and then reacting spitefully to such tales will cause problems later.

Best to say 'don't be silly, you are such a big girl you'll be fine if mum thinks so, but call me if you need anything' and get off the phone.

New girlfriends really do get big ideas about their worth in the children's lives, I did, but ultimately the child already has two parents (in most cases) - and those two can get along with it just fine without your dictating anything.

heretolearn_2

Well my sympathies are entirely withthe mum.

1) There's nothing wrong with leaving a 10 year old alone for a couple of hours, unless there is a learning disability/you have a mini Evil-Kneivel daredevil on your hands.

2) Off school ill - I doubt very much the poor child was abandoned throwing up in a bucket. AMazing how well kids get after the first hour or so. Having a bit of a sniffly nose, a 'tummy-ache' etc, I'd leave them.

3) OP needs to keep out of this poor woman's life and certainly not sit in judgement on her, or encourage her partner in this silly over-reactions. Legal? Moral? Furious? Good lord, I've have been asking him what's wrong with his kid if she can't cope with sitting in her own home in the afternoon for a little while, and suggest the child needs some help in maturing a bit.

whitewing

I actually think that stepmum is well within her rights, and in fact very welcome, as a stepmum to post on here regarding her stepdaughter. I think she just needs to be more careful on her wording and even her thinking towards biomum.

She is there to support her husband/OH and also to help him keep some perspective so I actually don't think it matters whether he posts or she posts.

I think the subject matter is very valid - she 10 year old have been left alone? It is a question we parents all have to think about.

3v3

bewilderedhelpneeded wrote: »

My partner has been rung up by his 10 year old daughter today to say that she has been off school poorly since Monday. During the conversation she told him that her mum left her at home alone yesterday afternoon whilst her mum went to a Zumba class. The little girl is only just 10 - is it legal to leave a 10 year old alone during the day? Thats not even touching on the moral side of this - the mum leaving her daughter home alone whilst she went out to a Zumba class! Anything could have happened to that little girl. My partner is furious and has text his ex to tell her how appalled he is that she would even consider doing something as irresponsible as that and putting their daughters safety and wellbeing at risk whilst she went out having fun. Surely it wouldn't have hurt for her to miss her Zumba class for one week?

My mother used to leave me on my own at home when I was ill at that age. Admittedly her reason was for work (thus a far longer duration) but if she didn't, she didn't get paid. That was normal then.

Sorry the child's father is "furious" and "appalled"; pity he chose to text her and have a go though ... maybe, between them, they would have been better discussing a strategy on how he might support his daughter at times when she is off school sick for a couple of days and give "Mum" a bit of a break?

Maybe he could offer to sit with his daughter while she goes to her afternoon Zumba class if she is off school unwell in future? That way he would be certain his daughter's safety and well-being: after all, isn't it his moral duty too?