Is this legally/morally right?

bewilderedhelpneeded

My partner has been rung up by his 10 year old daughter today to say that she has been off school poorly since Monday. During the conversation she told him that her mum left her at home alone yesterday afternoon whilst her mum went to a Zumba class. The little girl is only just 10 - is it legal to leave a 10 year old alone during the day? Thats not even touching on the moral side of this - the mum leaving her daughter home alone whilst she went out to a Zumba class! Anything could have happened to that little girl. My partner is furious and has text his ex to tell her how appalled he is that she would even consider doing something as irresponsible as that and putting their daughters safety and wellbeing at risk whilst she went out having fun. Surely it wouldn't have hurt for her to miss her Zumba class for one week?

lovecrafting

The law does not set a minimum age at which children can be left alone. However, it is an offence to leave a child alone when doing so puts him or her at risk.

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How do you decide if you can safely leave a child alone?

There are many important things to consider before you decide to leave a child alone. These include:

the age of the child
the child's level of maturity and understanding
the place where the child will be left
how long, and how often, the child will be left alone
whether or not there are any other children with the child.
For example, most parents would think it's OK to leave a 16-year-old alone for the evening. But to leave them for a week would be unacceptable.

Many young children play outdoors with other children without supervision, most people would agree that this is an important part of growing up. To leave children outdoors for a considerable length of time though, or to allow them to wander off without knowing where they are going would be unacceptable.

You are the best judge of your child's level of maturity and responsibility. Read our 'Home alone' information leaflet for more information.

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(according to the nspcc)

lovecrafting

my above post isnt going into the moral side of it, morally i wouldnt leave my ten year old at home wile i went to zumba but i wouldnt let them go hunting either and thats perfectly acceptable in some families.

Nicki

It's not illegal to leave a 10 year old for a short period, but if she came to any harm, then you might be legally liable for that. Whether it is immoral depends on how long she was away, how responsible the child is and how ill she was at the time. My DS is 11, and I would be happy to leave him in the house on his own for an hour or so while I took his younger siblings to the park at the end of the road, and have been for some time. He is very mature and responsible for his age though. I wouldn't dream of leaving his 10 year old sister alone in the house for even 5 minutes but she has learning difficulties and wouldn't be safe on her own.

There does come a point when you have to start introducing them to a small degree of independence though. If for example the child had a tummy bug earlier in the week and was better but not able to go back to school for 48 hours, and mum's rumba class was very local, she had her mobile and was contactable and the child is mature for her age, I think that's probably OK.

Bubby

I don't think it is morally right to have left a 10 year old alone, however your partner if upset should not be sending texts but picking up the phone or going to see the mother

helphelphelphelp

I have left my 10 year old before now when I have had to work ( part time). She has been told not to open the door or to answer the phone (only her mobile to me) and I regularly call her to check up on her. The door is locked and the key is left in the lock so she can get out in an emergency. She has contact numbers for a couple of my friends and my neighbour is generally in and out of her house. As another poster said, it all depends on the child.

That said, regardless of how much I trust my child on her own, I would never trust her during the school holidays and would never leave her with the temptation of other children.

whitewing

How do your partner and his ex normally share sickness cover when the child is ill?

pinkshoes

It depends on the 10 year old, and whether or not they are happy to be left on their own, and whether they are mature enough.

You only have the 10 year old's word for it, so probably not the best idea to go sending accusative texts, when you haven't even heard from the mother's point of view. Did she ask the 10 year old if she was happy with being left on her own?

Sometimes it's good to leave a child on their own for a short period of time, as it gives them a sense of responsibility.

I was about 10 when my mum used to go and do the shopping and leave me for about an hour, although I was always given the option to go with her.

LoopyLil_2

I wouldn't ever leave a child who is ill and off school alone just so I could go to a zumba class. Is zumba really that important when you have a poorly kiddie? I guess some people have different priorities!

bewilderedhelpneeded

whitewing wrote: »

How do your partner and his ex normally share sickness cover when the child is ill?

They have shared care so whoever has the child when they are ill stays off with them

Brighton_belle

Surely sending an agressive text is going to make things a whole lot worse for his daughter? Mum is likely to have a go at her for telling tales. His DD is therefore less likely in future to tell him stuff about her life, especially if she is unsure what is ok and what isn't so will keep stum about all sorts I should think.
Why do people persist in dealing with tricky relationship issues by text? I cannot see any other outcome than this getting the mother's back up and a breakdown in relations which will have a negative impact on the DD.
Do you know for sure that the DD didn't say, you go mum I'll be fine for an hour and I have your mobile number? If you did know for sure, then there must be a better way of dealing with this than texting.