Just received this - please help

*Louise*

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

I've told my mum everything which was not easy.

I'm glad to hear that you have found someoen to speak to. How was she when you told her? I hope she will be a support for you, you will really need someone with you in person for some of the days ahead of youx

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

Forgot to say it's my fault that she's moving in with him, because if I hadn't received that letter off her husband she would have stayed in her house but now she has no choice.

Gimmie strength! :rotfl:What an eejit.

Classic though, the cheater always turns it around so it's someone else's fault.

Just think though....compare being madly in love and moving in together with HAVING to move in together because their spouses have chucked them out. I don't think it's a recipe for a hormonious relationship, do you

You're doing really well, and you are blessed with your children, being strong for them will help get you through this xx

neneromanova

blue_monkey wrote: »

I'll give that 6 months - if that!!

Cor that's a bit too generous isn't it?

I give it til Monday/Tuesday. When Doorstep goes to the solicitor and the the solicitor puts a stop to the "remortgage", they then realise that they have no love nest to shack up in now and are definately up sh it creek without a paddle. Watch him either turn really really nasty for what you will have done, or come grovelling back.

princessdreamer

Don't mean to sound negative but everyone told me ex and slapper would not last yet as far as I know they are still together and having a baby. You need to get to a point where it does not matter who he is with, for me the news of a possible baby should have been deverstating. Maybe it was till my friend laughed and said poor cow now she will be fat frumpy, saggy boobs and baby sick. sleepless nights and the knowledge that having a child does not make him any less likely to cheat. To sum it up he will have his old life back and that wonderful freedom is gone.
Just think she could be blissfully posting in ten years time how happy she is while he is banging the woman three doors down. You just live your life reguardless of what he does he is nothing to you now.

sammyjammy

What he is saying about the mortgages on existing nad new properties. Firstly to have a mortgage on two properties he would need to show beyond doubt to the mortgage lender that he can pay both mortgages and bills/upkeep for both houses. Is he likely to convince them of this?

Secondly if he stops paying the mortgage on your current home it will put his other house at risk, if it went as far as repossession they would sell for far less than the market value and chase him (probably by way of a charge on his new house) for the balance.

The best way for you to protect yourself from all of this is to try and have enough saved for a deposit and first months rent on alternative accommodation for as and when you need it. At that stage you could claim housing benefit and council tax benefit.

If he has moved out you need to add contacting the council to your list of things to do. You are now entitled to a discount on your council tax and should also make a claim for council tax benefit as well as making a claim for other benefits. I can't recall how old your youngest is (4?) but if they are under 5 (or 7, I can't remember if its changed again and it doesn't say on direct.gov.uk - helpful not!)you are entitled to claim income support as a single parent.

lizzielondon

Hi DH,

Have tried to quickly catch up with this thread, its moved so quickly.

Have you broken into the box with the wage slips? I think you should do this today before he can move them

And another point, for which I apologise if you think it's out of order, is that lots of people on here are telling you to snoop hard and find details of shares, secret bank accounts, premium bonds etc

and you don't seen to want to do this? You don't seem to be answering these suggestions positively

is there a reason you don't want to do this? because i think you have to..

princessdreamer

It might be fear lizzie finding out your life is one big lie is very hard. In the back of DH mind there may be hope of a future.

Doorstep_horror

Morning everyone, I have the key for the document box. As far as I'm aware he has no other savings etc, there's no proof of anything in the house.

I checked his office numerous times, can't find anything.
He has 3 bank accounts that I know of, but anything in relation to them comes in and get ripped up then bined.

I have never had access to any bank accounts of his. Everything he owns is password protected, I have got on to his one computer as I found out the password but there is nothing on there, no history, no files etc. I really don't know what else to do or where to look.

Caroline_a

Morning DH!! Hope it's a lovely sunny morning where you are, because today is when you start to get your own life back! I would remove from the box anything that is the children's, or yours. Anything that is in his name alone I would photocopy and put everything except his stuff in your own secure place.

I would think that any evidence of savings/hidden bank accounts/etc will be already squirrelled away unfortunately. Still, that's for the CSA to find out! So... here's today's job for you http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Parents/ChildMaintenance/Arrangingchildmaintenance/DG_199135

That should enable you to start the ball rolling!

lizzielondon

can you add keystroke software to his computer? for when he comes to pick it up? I don't know if this is simple or not?

Mojisola

Unless his banks, etc, are very efficient in changing his address you may find the next statements arrive at your home. In the circumstances, I would open them and photocopy them.