Just received this - please help

Fellpony_2

You are one brave lady, doorstep, and you never know how strong you are until you need to be. You are proof of that. I for one will be awaiting updates on how you get on. x

lindos90

I really feel for you Doorstep, it must be such a horrible time for you. But its so heart-warming to see the honest and caring, support and advice all you MSEers are giving. You are a lovely lot, and I can see how very valuable this support is for Doorstep.:)

Doorstep_horror

Thank you all.

Blue-monkey Little one are ok, dd got a bit upset because I was upset, and ds had some tears and got a bit upset earlier but they are doing ok thank you for asking.

No he hasn't threatened me, some very kind person has enlightened me on a few things, and it's scared me as I know it's going to be a lot harder than I thought.

Saint_Chris

Hi
Again i thought of you today at work...........just come on here to read your thread, and you've had some wonderful advice, although some of the technical stuff goes over my head.
You've been given great advice about the fetish side, which i haven't a clue about, but think it's nice of those people who do know to offer such indepth advice.

in my past experience, i went for a court order to get what i could for my daughter, but as for the house, i couldn't wait to get out, i just wanted him to pay for his child, and i managed many years ago to get a council house, it was mine then, somewhere for me and my child, somewhere he couldn't lay claim to, and to this day i live in this house and i love it.

as for csa, it wasn't around when i went, it was court orders, but my ex was clever, each time we went to court, he had a ub40, some of you may remember them just a card from the dole saying you had to sign on, so his payment was only ever 5p a year, he never managed to pay that, i worked my butt off for my council house and daughter, and had a loving family who helped with babysitting etc

i'm now married to a wonderful man ( well 99% of the time, as there's no such thing as perfect) but no i have a nice life, a husband who lets me go away on a girls holiday once a year, go away for girls days out, and he has his own days out, and we have trust. Some times i just wish we'd had a child together, but i couldn't have any more.

Anyway enough of me..............................it's you, take care of yourself....................i told ya, you had friends on here, who would help and look after you.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Doorstep_horror

I thought I would get good advice on here, but the support you have all showed me is amazing, if could repay you all I would a thousand times over.

Saint_chris you sound like you have a lovely life and I hope to one day be in the same position.

I know we'll be ok I just have to keep reminding myself.
Keep smiling for the little ones whilst slowly falling apart inside, but this is day 1 of the rest of our lives.

Forgot to say it's my fault that she's moving in with him, because if I hadn't received that letter off her husband she would have stayed in her house but now she has no choice.

thorsoak

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

I thought I would get good advice on here, but the support you have all showed me is amazing, if could repay you all I would a thousand times over.

Saint_chris you sound like you have a lovely life and I hope to one day be in the same position.

I know we'll be ok I just have to keep reminding myself.
Keep smiling for the little ones whilst slowly falling apart inside, but this is day 1 of the rest of our lives.

Forgot to say it's my fault that she's moving in with him, because if I hadn't received that letter off her husband she would have stayed in her house but now she has no choice.

Oh the poor dear!!!! What an absolutely terrible person you are, DH, to receive such a letter from that poor woman's husband - how could you have done such a thing :eek::D

You will be well-rid of him! I know it will be hard for you - but you will be fine!

Caroline_a

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

I thought I would get good advice on here, but the support you have all showed me is amazing, if could repay you all I would a thousand times over.

Saint_chris you sound like you have a lovely life and I hope to one day be in the same position.

I know we'll be ok I just have to keep reminding myself.
Keep smiling for the little ones whilst slowly falling apart inside, but this is day 1 of the rest of our lives.

Forgot to say it's my fault that she's moving in with him, because if I hadn't received that letter off her husband she would have stayed in her house but now she has no choice.

Eh?? does he think you asked the husband for the letter? he found out before you did... so if he hadn't told you, he'd have been happy with her staying there...?

Don't worry, DH, he's totally lost it. You've already got him tied in knots, just wait for the time when your solicitor gets to grips with it!! (not to mention the CSA) - or CSI as I keep typing :rotfl:

Bedtime for me I think!! nite all!! x

blue_monkey_2

Doorstep, I said he would be off and I said he would be making excuses. He has already done both, blaming someone else for the things he has done. I am not even surprised, they usually do.

I am glad your babies are OK, you all have each other but (callous as it sounds) he worked away a lot and they will not miss him as much as you think they will because they have probably got used to him not being around. They do not have the same bond with him as they do with you. You will all be there for each other and this is the most important thing.

He is scared, you have him by the short and curlies and by running away he has showed he is not the big man he thinks he is. As I said 'up sh it creek without a paddle'. Whats more it looks like she is also paddling through the sh it as well. Good, they deserve each other. I;l give that 6 months - if that!!

Now he has gone, spend some time sorting through anything you can and give it to your mum, and hide the box with the paperwork in too.

You CAN do this and it might not be as hard as you think it is going to be - look how quick he has left today and has also given you the keys - when yesterday he told you he was going nowhere and he was going to remortgage the house.

Your patience, strength and peristence will see you through this difficult time and if you need us to have a vent to then please feel free to. I am pleased that we have all been here to help you through this difficult time. I am also glad you have told your mum as you are going to need her support. The response you got from her is going to the same as you will get from most people - not all, as not all will understand - but those that do not are not worthy of your friendship anyway. They should be helping you, not putting you down during this difficult time.

I've got a few jobs to do this weekend so I'll pop in tomorrow night and see how you are doing but have a good day with the kids tomorrow. Obviously it is a big change but as she was not there much anyway, will it be as big a change as you think? I think you might be surprised when the dust settles. What you might actually feel is a sense of relief and of not worrying what he is doing and who he is doing it with - and that is worth so much more than you can imagine.

Good luck sweetie, hope you sleep better tonight. xx

RacyRed

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

I thought I would get good advice on here, but the support you have all showed me is amazing, if could repay you all I would a thousand times over.

Saint_chris you sound like you have a lovely life and I hope to one day be in the same position.

I know we'll be ok I just have to keep reminding myself.
Keep smiling for the little ones whilst slowly falling apart inside, but this is day 1 of the rest of our lives.

Forgot to say it's my fault that she's moving in with him, because if I hadn't received that letter off her husband she would have stayed in her house but now she has no choice.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:Yeah right. If he says that again burst out laughing at him. I mean that seriously

There is a fetish called humiliation.... might be useful for you to learn a thing or two about how to inflict it

G'nite Caroline_a

lollyb84

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

I thought I would get good advice on here, but the support you have all showed me is amazing, if could repay you all I would a thousand times over.

Saint_chris you sound like you have a lovely life and I hope to one day be in the same position.

I know we'll be ok I just have to keep reminding myself.
Keep smiling for the little ones whilst slowly falling apart inside, but this is day 1 of the rest of our lives.

Forgot to say it's my fault that she's moving in with him, because if I hadn't received that letter off her husband she would have stayed in her house but now she has no choice.

it most certainly is the first day of the rest of your lives. And you and your children will be fine. Just take it one day/hour/mInute at a time.