Just received this - please help

suze200

Spot on BM. OW is getting plently. For her it is all about control. With added bonus of £££ maybe

RacyRed

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

RacyRed and Suze200 may I ask a question, if you don't want to answer that perfectly fine with me as I don't mean to pry or cause embarrassment.

In this kind of relationship is it natural for it to be a long term thing or would it just be a flash in the pan. I'm sorry but I don't know anything about this.

Maybe this is why he said they weren't having an affair it was just play.

It is as Suze200 and freemanl say.

Print out what clearingout just said and keep it by you at all times.

MamaMoo_2

Doorstep, I have a fairly broad knowledge of the fetish scene, particularly the sub/domme aspects, and from what you've said about your husband it's pretty clear he's under the thumb.
For the average guy who adores his partner this can be bad enough, but if their whole relationship is based on sexual domination, then he will be of much more of a mindset to do exactly what she says.
It's also possible that he destroys his statements as he has been throwing money/gifts at her left right and centre (Google Financial Domination)
Right now he worships her, and so all she will have to do is click her fingers.
I also agree that it's highly likely thatshe has control over her XH. The personal photos etc that he's feeding you have come from somewhere, and it's entirely possible they have come from her.
Having him send you these documents has effectively caused your relationship to come to a conclusive end, leaving her slave free for her use only.
Be very wary of making her XH aware of anything, chances are he's reporting back and being rewarded for it.
I know it sounds ridiculous, but the dependency of a sub on his domme is that of a dog's dependency on an owner, and his loyalty lies with her, and he will constantly be trying to impress for rewards. Your husband will be doing the same, and going to any lengths to please her. Make sure he can't.
Outfox him now before she digs her claws in full-time

Caroline_a

Goodness, I've led a very sheltered life so it seems! I was only married to !!!!!$!! OP, we're all rooting for you, any advice you want, I'm sure between us all we can provide it! (((HUGS)))

RacyRed

MamaMoo wrote: »

Be very wary of making her XH aware of anything, chances are he's reporting back and being rewarded for it.
I know it sounds ridiculous, but the dependency of a sub on his domme is that of a dog's dependency on an owner, and his loyalty lies with her, and he will constantly be trying to impress for rewards. Your husband will be doing the same, and going to any lengths to please her. Make sure he can't.
Outfox him now before she digs her claws in full-time

Absolutely spot on. :T

Very good point not to trust her ex with any more information.

suze200

MamaMoo wrote: »

Doorstep, I have a fairly broad knowledge of the fetish scene, particularly the sub/domme aspects, and from what you've said about your husband it's pretty clear he's under the thumb.
For the average guy who adores his partner this can be bad enough, but if their whole relationship is based on sexual domination, then he will be of much more of a mindset to do exactly what she says.
It's also possible that he destroys his statements as he has been throwing money/gifts at her left right and centre (Google Financial Domination)
Right now he worships her, and so all she will have to do is click her fingers.
I also agree that it's highly likely thatshe has control over her XH. The personal photos etc that he's feeding you have come from somewhere, and it's entirely possible they have come from her.
Having him send you these documents has effectively caused your relationship to come to a conclusive end, leaving her slave free for her use only.
Be very wary of making her XH aware of anything, chances are he's reporting back and being rewarded for it.
I know it sounds ridiculous, but the dependency of a sub on his domme is that of a dog's dependency on an owner, and his loyalty lies with her, and he will constantly be trying to impress for rewards. Your husband will be doing the same, and going to any lengths to please her. Make sure he can't.
Outfox him now before she digs her claws in full-time

Again stop on.

lollyb84

Been following this thread for a couple of days now, and although I have nothing really constructive to add, I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you. Make sure you take time to look after yourself through all of this - you're children need you to be strong, and that means taking some 'me' time to ensure you're OK.

Please, please ask for help if you need it - we're all only human and can't cope with everything all the time. I think I remember you saying your family are far away (sorry if this is wrong) but there are organisations that can help, and if you need to rant, there are lots of people on here willing to listen - just look at all the support you've had so far! We're all right behind you, supporting you - don't let him do the wrong thing by you and your children. (((Hugs)))

claire16c

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

Clearing out I agree full with what you have said, I can put my hands on all passports, birth certificates, kids saving books etc within 5 mins, all wage slips etc are in a locked box not sure where the key has gone though.

What if he takes them though when youre out or something or in an argument? I would spend the time whilst hes away at least making photo copies to hide somewhere or taking them to a friends house.

Caroline_a

The key may be with your OH... do you have a spare?

RacyRed

Errrrr, just to add a little aside.

Thousands of men and women have a fetish they choose not to share with their other halves. Usually because they feel too ashamed of their fetish and love their partner too much to risk admitting the fetish to them.

Many choose to find a non threatening, annonymous fantasy outlet for it. Situations like this where a domme deliberately causes trouble between a submissive and their real life partner are rare. It really is more normally kept as pure fantasy.

The rights and wrongs of this are for another discussion, I'm just want to give some reassurance to anyone out there who may be having sudden worries about missing (or extra) items of underwear.