Just received this - please help

MamaMoo_2

RacyRed wrote: »

Errrrr, just to add a little aside.

Thousands of men and women have a fetish they choose not to share with their other halves. Usually because they feel too ashamed of their fetish and love their partner too much to risk admitting the fetish to them.

Many choose to find a non threatening, annonymous fantasy outlet for it. Situations like this where a domme deliberately causes trouble between a submissive and their real life partner are rare. It really is more normally kept as pure fantasy.

The rights and wrongs of this are for another discussion, I'm just want to give some reassurance to anyone out there who may be having sudden worries about missing (or extra) items of underwear.

Totally agree! Not all sub/domme fantasies end up being acted out to such a devastating effect, in fact I'm guessing many aren't acted out at all!

peachyprice

He's going to be a right mess when she's milked him dry and she's bored of him.

Stephb1986_2

peachyprice wrote: »

He's going to be a right mess when she's milked him dry and she's bored of him.

It's all he deserves from what we know

Steph xx

peachyprice

Stephb1986 wrote: »

It's all he deserves from what we know

Steph xx

Indeed.............

princessdreamer

keys lol well that depends on how strong the lock is. I opened my exs briefcase with a hammer and chisel.

claire16c

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

Deposit is coming from mortgage reserve, and they said he can have 85% mortgage raised against this property.

Soa I did n line but didnt post it will get on to it soon.

I don't think she's rolling in it, part time job, rented property, unless she gets money from her website and movies.

Going to sort out clinic appoitment for next week.

If I was you I would come back from the clinic and tell him (whether or not you actually have and hope to god you havent) that hes possibly passed on a STD to you and suggests he gets himself and his fancy woman tested too. Why should only you have to go through the humiliation? And even if he doesnt believe you, still puts a seed of doubt in his mind :rotfl:

sassyblue

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

Oh yeah he says he will put a clause in his mortgage that if he defaults on this one both properties have to go.

Absolute bullsh*t !!

The mortgage company for the new house are only interested in THAT house, they will NOT put clauses in as that financial agreement is with hubby and you, absolutely nothing to do with anyone else.

What a cad! :mad:

The fact that he rips up bank statements and other stuff is a huge alarm bell, he's either got alot more money than you know or he's got nothing and that's why he's trying to pull the wool over your eyes.

I've known of two divorces in the last few years that followed a similar pattern... one where the hubby was ripping up bank statements and stuff and telling his wife they were 'made for life', she never had a debit or credit card he handed over cash to her every week (they were in their late 50's and had been doing that for years). However, HE got himself a mistress and several addictions, drinking, gambling and *cough* massages and when his wife found out about it all she went to the bank to get a statement and guess what - £190 in there. He'd even had £30k left in inheritance money about 10 years before and that was all gone, she meanwhile earned fairly good money all going into the joint bank account which she didn't have a card for! He'd ripped up and burnt everything, even the debit card she'd been sent which she never knew about. He went home for lunch so was easy to get his hands on the post.

The second one was similar in that he handed over x amount to his wife for the food and stuff, they had 3 children he constantly told her they had no money even though he had a good job and worked abroad somewhat, she struggled for a few years but the marriage wasn't working out due to his control with money and mental cruelty and when he was away the wife broke into his filing cabinet (she was going to divorce him but wanted copies of documents he put in there) and was astonished to see he had over £150K sitting in savings accounts. He did spend very little himself too but she couldn't get over him making her and the kids suffer to the extent they did. Oh, and he had a huge pension, which she's got some of now. she has just moved into her own home now with the kids that is paid for outright but had she not broken into that filing cabinet she wouldn't have had it because he wouldn't have owned up to that £150k

Sorry to blather on.... presumably you get mail to your home, do you leave it for him to open or does he manage to get to it first? If you can get to it first, especially bank statements l think you need to....

clearingout

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

Clearing out I agree full with what you have said, I can put my hands on all passports, birth certificates, kids saving books etc within 5 mins, all wage slips etc are in a locked box not sure where the key has gone though.

hun, it's far, far more than this. He's hiding stuff - and it's not just about his sexual preferences. Do everything you can to gather your sensible, logical, 'doing' side together and put the emotional stuff in a box for a couple of days. Go through the house, open drawers, open boxes, go up in the loft, look in the shed. Particularly look at anything you think is his domain and you wouldn't normally bother with as anything he's hiding is going to be there. If there's a box that the key has disappeared to, disappear the box. If he wants what's in it, he needs to open it in front of you and show you the contents. Better still, do what I did and get a male friend with a big tool box to open it for you!

If you are to get a fair deal for the children, you need to know exactly what he has. If you know e-mail passwords, use them and have a look (it is likely he will change them as soon as he realises he's rumbled). You might not like the contents (and I wouldn't normally advise this kind of behaviour - it's dreadful!) but again, put the emotional to one side. You are looking for evidence of assets, bank accounts (even if you think there's nothing in them), capital. Eventually you will need to do a financial disclosure - if you end up in court, it will be compulsory. You will have to show 12 months worth of statements on every account, details of insurances, pensions etc. along with official documents. If your ex has an account you don't know about, there could be money in it. If you don't know about it, he doesn't disclose it. If he doesn't disclose it, the judge can't take that money into account. When he does his side of the disclosure, if he doesn't declare accounts you have photocopied statements of, you have him.

Honestly, I wish someone had told me all this right at the beginning when the ex and I split. But I thought I knew him, I thought I could handle him and I couldn't. Once you've done the practical stuff, feel free to fall apart but I won't let you do that until you've ransacked the house. Get to it, woman!

Caroline_a

OP if you want to know how devious some people can be, a little story for you. I came home tonight, ready for my Friday glass of wine, walking dogs, etc. Letter on the doormat. It appears that my lovely ex, who I split up with in 2005 omitted to pay the council tax that he assured me he'd paid. Not only that, he put my name on it. I opened a bill for £2k.... that will wipe me out.

He promised me he was going to pay it, do the redirection of mail thing, etc. He obviously did none of this. I organised the other bills, he only had this one to do. B4stard......

However, I've now given them his new address which they didn't have...

princessdreamer

Do not let him take documents out of the house, with my ex I tried to be nice and he walked off with my car registration documents. The mistress loves to gloat about taking the car, which upsets me as he treats it like he treats me a pile of crap. So no doubt the poor thing will fail its next MOT and be scrapped.