Just received this - please help

Mupette

OP your doing well and we will be here to offer advice and support, even if and when it gets nasty, we will still be here

Smiling_Ducky

Doorstep Horror, I have just spent the best part of an hour reading through this entire thread.
I'm sending you massive hugs.
Well done for being so level headed. I would have spent the entire time being sick, crying and having snot running down my face!

Doorstep_horror

I haven't had time to cry, I'm sure it'll come soon enough, but at the moment I feel like I'm in the middle of a jerry springer episode.

busiscoming2

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

He's not going to pay child support, he's paying the mortgage.

Unless the system has changed, if you are on benefits (which I expect you will be to start off with as I think you said you are a SAHM) the CSA are automatically involved.

blue_monkey_2

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

Blue monkey your post prompted me to go and look in my cupboard, where I found an old solicitors letter stating that they were registering me with the land registry. So this should already have been done back in 2009.

Being a hoarder has it's uses!

So did posting here - it is all the little things that will help. Thank goodness though - that letter will be invaluable.

I am wondering whether you should just let him continue with his little plans and go put an offer on a place at the weekend, with his little woman tagging along, so he ends up with egg on his face.

Would I suggest you do something like that.....???

Yes. :rotfl::rotfl:

It's not going to look like much fun for him in a few weeks time when he is living in a dingy bedsit. Shame. Not.

lizzielondon

But if he remortgages isn't he taking your equity out too?

Doorstep_horror

Oh I'm not saying anything about land registry, that is one thing I can keep to myself.

Lizzielondon that is correct about the equity.

Can't wait to see solicitor and find out what's what.

I don't think the csa get involved with benefits any more.

blue_monkey_2

lizzielondon wrote: »

But if he remortgages isn't he taking your equity out too?

Yes, like he would care about that.

However, he cannot do that now anyway because her interest has been registered in the house.

He might well have arranged the mortgage but he has to pass the checks as well - and then he is going to look like a !!!!!! because he will have 'failed to mention' her interest being registered. If you read the CAB gumf I posted it will explain more.

I am glad you are feeling more positive about this DH, while it is not good that it is happening, it is good that you have finally seen through this slimebag and you can move forward with yours and the little ones lives.

Doorstep_horror

I know there are going to be tough times ahead, lots of struggles and heart ache, but I've learnt from my mistakes.

Thank you everyone again for stopping me going loopy.

Off to bed now to try and get some sleep.

**Patty**

Doorstep, please think carefully about the roof over your head. I really do hope you ask your solicitor about what i posted earlier.

Even if he puts *something legal* in writing that he will pay the mortgage.......If he decides not to, what...in real terms...are you going to do? If he defaults, the only course of action i can see being an option is for you to try & force the issue in Court. How long will that take & how much will it cost as it will be a civil suit? You could be homeless before it even sees the inside of a courtroom.


I would give the issue of renting somewhere privately for just you & the children some serious thought. Not just because you wish to go through the CSA or not just because you would qualify for some/all rent help.........But because you will have somewhere that cannot be sold/taken .....a safe place for you & your children.

At the moment, by staying in the house & accepting he will pay the mortgage in lieu of child support i feel you are laying yourself open to all kinds of manipulation....:(

I wish you well x