Just received this - please help

lizzielondon

Gleeful wrote: »

She said she had a few quid in savings, now she claims to have loads stashed away. Can't even get her story straight.

In fairness a few quid is quite a subjective term

Doorstep_horror

Im still unable to sleep, so I thought I would pop on here only to find I have to explain myself. Yes I have some savings if you must know it's about £500 but this was mine and my children's emergency fund, I'm really sorry that I didn't use it to pay off my debts.

I seem to be causing some unrest here which is such a shame as there are lots of helpful people here with a lot to give which I fully appreciate.

I am aware this sounds like a fairy tale try living it, it's not.

At no point did I say I had loads of money stashed away, I've been saving the odd £5/£10 here and there.

lizzielondon

Gleeful wrote: »

She said she had a few quid in savings, now she claims to have loads stashed away. Can't even get her story straight.

In fairness a few quid is quite a subjective term

*Redhead*

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

Im still unable to sleep, so I thought I would pop on here only to find I have to explain myself. Yes I have some savings if you must know it's about £500 but this was mine and my children's emergency fund, I'm really sorry that I didn't use it to pay off my debts.

I seem to be causing some unrest here which is such a shame as there are lots of helpful people here with a lot to give which I fully appreciate.

I am aware this sounds like a fairy tale try living it, it's not.

At no point did I say I had loads of money stashed away, I've been saving the odd £5/£10 here and there.

I dont blame you at all. I wish i'd stashed money away, would have come in useful when my Ex left.
I really hope you get yourself sorted soon. I know what you're going through x

Frogletina

The actual quote was a couple of quid.

I assumed that no-one expected the OP to mean this literally - that she just had £2 saved.

Doorstep_horror

I feel like asking to met one of you so I can show you emails etc to prove this is going on.

Triker

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

I feel like asking to met one of you so I can show you emails etc to prove this is going on.

You do not have to prove yourself to anyone, the majority of people here wish to support and help you. There will always be some who will be distrustful, ignore them.....they are the types who wouldn't help someone who was drowning....because they'd want some proof....ie exactly how much water is in your lungs....:rotfl:

MarilynMonroe_2

You dont need to prove anything xxx you shoudl try and get some sleep though as you'll need to be on form for your kiddies xx

Seanymph

Well it's useful sometimes when people post doubts, but in this case you've posted them, those of us that choose to stay with the thread are offering what support we can - so you don't need to post again.

FWIW I had a close friend and work colleague who went through something similar. She, after years of unrecognised emotional manipulation seperated but STILL makes excuses for the damned bloke to their children and still agrees to everything he asks! She lost the house and all her family financial security and doormats to him all the time. Despite finding his adverts on singles sites, the mobile he kept hidden to organise his dates, and receipts for hotels! She is just too nice to do otherwise.

I worry this woman is the same. If I was stashing money away from OH I wouldn't be paying off my credit card - oh no - I wouldn't want him to know I'd got it and the credit card is visible. So I'd carry on paying that out of his paycheck every month and consider it his debt if I'd spent it on the family.......... and puggle my stray bits of cash elsewhere.

Of course, getting rid of that card is now a priority - if you can OP get him to swap it to a card in his name immediately at 0%. You can do it online and get them to send it through for a signature and bang it down in front of him and get hysterical until he signs it.

You have a small window (if that) of him being very agreeable - then he'll be faced with 'money to feed the children or new shoes for the g/f' and in most cases the shoes win out every time! You won't just be dealing with him, you'll be dealing with them - and it's difficult.

So, do what you can now, photocopy everything, hide it (including his birth certificate and your marriage certificate - you can't get divorced without physical custody of the marriage certificate!). And his passports - believe it or not you'll need HIS number when you apply or renew or lose your kids passport.

I'm away the weekend looking at universities of all things, but I'll be thinking of you.

blue_monkey_2

DH - you do not need to justify yourself to anyone. As someone else said, those people would not waste their time spitting on someone if they were burning or would drive past an accident without calling an ambulance. I cannot do that, if I can help someone with their heartache and pain then I'll do that.

I am sure that it does seem far fetched to some but to a lot of us, we realise that in real life stuff like this does happen to people and it hurts people and breaks up families.

Put the doubters on ignore and then ignore what they have said - do you know how to? And then you'll not have to deal with trying to justify why your husband is a !!!!!!!

And you know what - I do not mind giving up my time to help someone, I've only got housework to do otherwise - because if someone is making it up, in a week, month or years time, someone might actually be in this situation and might need help and this might help them.

To the doubters - something happened to my best friend a few months ago, something worthy of an EastEnders type plot, I was told that it could not be happening either and I should walk away and not get involved. Lucky I was involved as it was the one thing that helped once the police became involved. We could all see it happening but she could not and it spiralled more than you can ever image. Today all of the events seem pretty surreal, that as an adult she could have got herself into that situation and let others do what they did to her. You'd all sit here today calling me a liar - the only 'evidence' that this happened is the police reports and the fact that it looks like she is going to be sectioned (we think today) because of just what these people did and the damage they have done to her mind. And this was a well adjusted adult, never been in trouble with the police, a mother of children. These kinds of things do happen to people, if you are not interested in helping but calling people liars then why not just move on and find something else that interests you. Why do you have to doubt people's pain as if it is a joke? Are they not going through enough? Well, shame on you!!