Just received this - please help

dirtysexymonkey

clearingout wrote: »

I'm not sure it's something the average person will want to be discussing in front of their work colleagues....

tough! he shouldve thought about that before putting a sodding note through and dropping a bombshell on the op!

rachie_2011

My goodness... I feel shocked just reading your post so god only knows what's going through your head right this moment!

19lottie82

It may not be as bad as you think, but from my own experience, IMHO, there is no smoke without fire I'm afraid. Why would someone make this up 100%?

See what this caller has to say then let your husband tell you his side of the story.

Doorstep_horror

Yes, we are separated but it's only been for a week.

gorgeous_gwen

I've heard about this tactic on marriage forums. They call it "exposure." I have no doubt some people do it because they have been spurned and want revenge, though the thinking behind it is if you find out your spouse has been having an affair, you reveal the A to important people in their lives, ie family members, close friends, the idea being that once everyone knows about it, it shatters that cosy little just-you-and-me world that they conduct their affair in and brings the reality of the situation right back down to earth.

The idea is that with exposing to the other person's spouse, all will then be revealed and the affair partner will then be spending time begging forgiveness and trying to mend their marriage/relationship, and makes it so much harder to conduct an affair in secret as everyone will be onto them.

Of course it could also be someone trying to cause trouble and might not be an A at all. Have you had any suspicions OP?

Edit: just read your subsequent posts. I'd hold off saying anything to your husband, given the past affair I'd be inclined to speak to the person in question and see if they can offer any definitive proof before you choose whether to approach your husband about it.

dirtysexymonkey

Doorstep_horror wrote: »

Yes, we are separated but it's only been for a week.

right. are you that bothered? if youve already split.

Plans_all_plans

To be honest, if this other man was in any way convincing in his tale, I'd keep my knowledge from my husband until it suited me to do him right over!

Doorstep_horror

dirtysexymonkey wrote: »

right. are you that bothered? if youve already split.

Yes because as far as I was aware, we'd just grown apart but still loved each other, we're still in the same house.

He's just called but hung up when I answered, do I call him back.

I'm finding it very hard to keep my self under control.

NAR

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

To be honest, if this other man was in any way convincing in his tale, I'd keep my knowledge from my husband until it suited me to do him right over!

Sounds like a good plan to me. Sounds like the other offended party doesn't know you have already separated.

Plans_all_plans

Yeah I'd call him back.