The Ultimate Hard and Fast debt clearing mission

Dinah93

So big catch up and then an update from me, Grace has been keeping me so busy, now she's a bit bigger she's sleeping a lot less. She was happy to play on her own for 20mins at a time, but all that has ended, now she's crying for attention every moment she's awake. It's very hard to get anything done.

Birdie85 wrote: »

Quite impressed that I actually put things on ebay last night! I was pretty sure I'd forget all about it again but actually made time to do it whilst OH sat by looking really unsure about me selling 5 of my fancy Barbie dolls because he's worried he's forced me into it. He hasn't BTW, I just wanted to get rid!

Did they sell for what you hoped for?

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

Was this 'ball' the burlesque night NIM referred to on FB?! Hehe, oops - bet it was fun anyway though! Was it at Rockliffe by any chance? What did you make of the food? I wasn't that impressed, found it all a bit too rich Maybe I have pauper tastes!!

It was... it said Ball on the tickets and on the on-line invite! After the first few dancers I was a lot more relaxed, there are only so many boobs you can see before they're about as eye catching as the d!cor. In several of the dances I did thin 'well you only got your boobs out because you had to, in no way do they add to the story' - very strange seeing nakedness as a completely un-sexual thing. (yes, I know that's not a word). Food was grand, nothing wildly exciting, soup was a bit boring, pudding was fine, main was enjoyable. Seems like ages ago now!

tinkerbel wrote: »

ps Dinah I saw a pic of you at a wedding recently on fb in the creamy dress and I forgot to say.. you look tiny! As if you've recently had a baby! you looked great!

Thank you, it's coming off slowly. NIM and I just restarted the healthy eating/diet this week, as I need his help to get the last 2 stone off so we can talk about a sibling next year or the one after.

clearmydebts wrote: »

Cinny - have you joined babyandbump? There is a Trying to Conceive (TTC) section. It is really good. I also used the WTT (Waiting To Try) section before I was ready to try for Max!

I'm on there! You'll never guess how original I was with the username.... I posted LOADS when TTC and pregnant, but since I had Grace I haven't posted much - she takes up too much time! Also I do find that some of the mums are uber competitive, breastfeeding till 3, cloth nappies, baby wearing, baby led weaning, and when I've admitted I do none of these I've felt quite attacked sometimes, was once even asked how I can not want what's best for my baby. I think my reply was somewhere along the lines of 'my baby was 12 weeks prem, breastmilk has around 40cals/100ml, her formula has 101cals/100ml and she still struggles to gain weight and is probably still smaller than your baby was born, besides which I did breastfeed until the egit lab techs diagnosed me with a tumour, I don't have time to wash nappies when my washer is so poor all my whites came out blue from the fairy liquid this morning, I don't wear her because her oxygen tank is fricking heavy to have on my back, and I traditional wean because she is too small to hold a spoon let alone put it in her own mouth. Parenting is not a competition - stop being so self righteous and go play with your baby'. She didn't reply to me I do find BnB can be a bit fanatical about breastfeeding in particular, yes it's great, it's free, it's natural, it has lots of antibodies and fats which are good for the baby, but personally I only did it because it was good for her, I HATED the feel of it and I felt very miserable about it all.

starnac wrote: »

Congratulations on the new job NIM. which paper were you in? I must have missed that.

Daily Mail. It's mostly accurate to what I said.... no lies just bits where I think 'I don't think he understood me'. And NIMs name is spelt incorrectly and I KNOW I didn't get that wrong!

N.I.M wrote: »

I'm impressed that your laying the tiles rather than himself ROTE. Tis normally himself would be doing that, it'd be me in my house

Ahem. You're well aware that I can lay tiles, but it's something you're better at and it's good for you to be useful around here

archersluck wrote: »

Wahooo, well done NIM What does this mean for Dinahs SAHM plans? Feasible?

Feasible or not, they still have to be done. After the costs of running a car, starting the employee pension, higher tax etc I'll be surprised if we're £100 a month better off. When I left for maternity leave I was so certain I didn't want to go back, I never expected to feel so trapped at home. But then I guess I thought I'd be able to go to play groups and things, not literally be stuck at home. I wish there was a feasible way for me to return part time, but Grace can't go into childcare, a private nanny would cost pretty much exactly the same as my salary... it's just not possible. So at some point we do need to actually address if I'm going to apply for redundancy or a sabbatical.

Went to my maid of honour's wedding, don't know if I've posted since then? Anyway, she was very lucky with the weather, had a good turn out, but it was quite an odd wedding. Almost everyone we spoke to were friends of one set of parents or the other and hadn't actually met one half of the couple previously. Also the two tables of friends were in sort of an add-on room for the meal, rather than the main room as it wasn't big enough for all 60 guests, so we all had to stand up and crowd around the door to be able to hear the speeches. Food was lovely, poor canap! lady got swamped every time she came outside. It was a very traditional wedding in the sense of ceremony - photos/canap!s - speeches - meal - band and dancing, which is nice, but also because so few people knew each other, or even the couple, it felt a bit like going through the wedding motions, and there was nothing you'd really remember? I was trying so hard to be happy for her and enjoy it, but they both looked really scared and nervous all day long, she smiled a little after the meal during the cake cutting and dancing, but he just looked like he was in front of a firing squad.

Also NIMs mum and brother were over last weekend, went the easiest any encounter between the two of us has gone. Mostly because all the criticism she usually jabs at me was openly aimed at NIM this time instead - apparently he's not as good looking as her other son, he's gotten fat, and he's too poor! NIMs brother treated us to a gorgeous dinner at the Tontine (for those local, the McCoy's place down the A19) which I have to say was fantastic.

Anyone's baby have a bit of a hand in mouth problem? Grace is driving me batty, she keeps trying to see how far in she can get it and then is sick everywhere. I thought she'd learn but it's been 3 weeks now. All I can do is put mittens on to stop it but then she cries as she likes her hands.

Money seems to be going okay considering technically we were short by about £300 last month after wages. We're going to finish the month with £600-£700 in the account, which we'll use to pay the car insurance, and lets hope the MOT doesn't raise any issues.

NIM thinks he's found the car he likes for his new job, I'm a little nervous as it's a bit more expensive in every regard than the ones we were looking at, and I think it's going to cost about an extra £70 a month to run considering tax, petrol, insurance all being that bit higher. But all the ones we were looking at are apparently horrible to drive so I guess that's that. I was surprised at that tbh as I'd not short listed anything that was imo tiny or underpowered for that very reason. So it's just a bit more to have to try to find/make each month. Really need to sit down and work out our definite budget once his new wage starts coming in.

Been a bit quiet on the blog front, but there was a fantastic cake last week, and hoping to get some more done later this week.

Starting to make some craft bits finally too, although I have absolutely no enthusiasm for it. I just feel like everyone and their dog tries to sell little crafty things, and mine are no better or more original than anyone else's, plus I've never made more than the cost of materials in the past, so I just don't see this being a huge success.

Overall I'm a bit of a whinge and down on things atm. Sorry x

ruby_eskimo

Wow seems like a lot has been going on Dinah. Hopefully when NIM starts his new job you can really get a feel for what your future plans might be.

I'm the same way Birdie, I have to make sure I clean the flat if we're having people over because I don't trust OH to get it up to my standard hehe.

Have been backwards and forwards to the Dr the past couple of weeks because of this stupid nerve problem I have; basically I have little/no sensation in my legs below the knees. Turns out I'm anaemic so now I have to take Iron tablets for 6 weeks and see what happens. Practically bought the entire stock of Spinach in Tesco last night!

N.I.M

The frontrunner was weak, and felt like it was built from wheely bins. The c3 was just a poor car for the money and felt unsafe.
I'm looking at a diesel ford focus 1.8 litre, its just been MOT'd, had brand new tyres and break discs, handles like a dream, does 50+mpg combined (60odd extra urban which most of my driving would be) will come with 6 months road tax and has a full service history. Ultimately its the only car I saw I'd be happy to put Grace in.

Car aside I've got a days MSing lined up for saturday week, which is going to net me, after fuel, over £100. Going to be a LONG day though.

starnac

Dinah sorry you are feeling a bit down. The photo of you all in the paper was lovely.

Is there no way Grace can go to a childminder/nursery for a couple of hours a day for you to work on your business (sorry if I'm being ignorant). The nursery DD went to fundraised last year to pay for adaptions and an extra member of staff for a child who had cerebral palsy (I think).

When are you due back at work?

N.I.M

starnac wrote: »

Dinah sorry you are feeling a bit down. The photo of you all in the paper was lovely.

Is there no way Grace can go to a childminder/nursery for a couple of hours a day for you to work on your business (sorry if I'm being ignorant). The nursery DD went to fundraised last year to pay for adaptions and an extra member of staff for a child who had cerebral palsy (I think).

When are you due back at work?

Its not a case of funding, its Grace's suceptability(sp?) to RSV and other respiratory infections. What would give a sniffle to a "normal" baby could be fatal for Grace, and will certainly result in her being in hospital on oxygen support.

Dinah93

NIM kind of summed it up, basically if Grace gets RSV (which is the underlying virus to just over half of all coughs, colds and sniffles we get) she will certainly be back in hospital, there is a decent chance she'd be back on a ventilator. If this happened so young her already pretty scared and immature lungs would be immeasurably worsened, and it's usual to then need inhalers and a home nebuliser twice daily throughout childhood. So to try to limit the chance of her catching RSV until she's older (because everyone will get viruses in this family many, many times in their life) we have to keep her out of supermarkets, shopping centres, playgroups etc completely until she's off oxygen completely for two full winters. It's blinking miserable. She's on an injection to help her fight the symptoms if she gets it, but nothing can stop her catching it other than not being exposed. It really hit home to us how serious this is recently as one of the preemie mums in a facebook group I'm in has twins, one caught it at 5 months, and died from it a few days later. It really shook me, I thought it was just kind of a horror story that it could happen, but there are less than 90 mums in my group so that made it very real. It's really tempting to look at Grace now without her tubes and think we have a normal baby who's just titchy, but as the weekly hospital appointments ought to remind me, that's sadly just not true.

Due back on the 25th March.

I understand it's the only car you liked love, I'm just saying I'm feeling a bit blue about trying to find the extra a month it costs over the 1.6 litre, when we're already at a deficit. I'm not saying I won't find it, just I wish it wasn't necessary.

GUTTED I just missed a £25 supermarket home delivery mystery shop, as I was meal planning and costing up ingredients to try to save money. At least I had a £20 off £50 spend voucher so the pain is a bit lessened.

clearmydebts

Dinah93 wrote: »

NIM kind of summed it up, basically if Grace gets RSV (which is the underlying virus to just over half of all coughs, colds and sniffles we get) she will certainly be back in hospital, there is a decent chance she'd be back on a ventilator. If this happened so young her already pretty scared and immature lungs would be immeasurably worsened, and it's usual to then need inhalers and a home nebuliser twice daily throughout childhood. So to try to limit the chance of her catching RSV until she's older (because everyone will get viruses in this family many, many times in their life) we have to keep her out of supermarkets, shopping centres, playgroups etc completely until she's off oxygen completely for two full winters. It's blinking miserable. She's on an injection to help her fight the symptoms if she gets it, but nothing can stop her catching it other than not being exposed. It really hit home to us how serious this is recently as one of the preemie mums in a facebook group I'm in has twins, one caught it at 5 months, and died from it a few days later. It really shook me, I thought it was just kind of a horror story that it could happen, but there are less than 90 mums in my group so that made it very real. It's really tempting to look at Grace now without her tubes and think we have a normal baby who's just titchy, but as the weekly hospital appointments ought to remind me, that's sadly just not true.

Due back on the 25th March.

I understand it's the only car you liked love, I'm just saying I'm feeling a bit blue about trying to find the extra a month it costs over the 1.6 litre, when we're already at a deficit. I'm not saying I won't find it, just I wish it wasn't necessary.

GUTTED I just missed a £25 supermarket home delivery mystery shop, as I was meal planning and costing up ingredients to try to save money. At least I had a £20 off £50 spend voucher so the pain is a bit lessened.

Big hugs Dinah. That sounds like a terrible situation to not be able to go to groups etc. The groups are a lifeline for me some days. Are you going back to work, or staying at home with Grace? If you want to return, would an au pair be an option?

Having a lousy day myself. Max has been a nightmare all day. Really bold. My mother took him at 5pm so I could have some time on my own with Evie. Can't wait til OH is over here full-time so he can take them off my hands on bad days like this.

Dinah93

I suggested an au pair/nanny to NIM, but we costed it up and it would come to about £220 a month more than my after tax wage, so it's a no. I wanted to go back half time, best of both worlds, and we'd be comfortable with regards to finances.

Sorry he's had a bad day. I've had a couple like that where I've just handed her to NIM and gone off by myself for a few minutes to gather myself together. I'm not looking forward to teething time!

Just got word through my other preemie group (only in 3 but its nice to talk to other mums stuck inside) that another baby is in hospital with RSV, 8 month old 27 weeker, he's on heart-lung bypass, so anyone who prays, please put him in them please. I'm always very aware that it could just as easily be Grace and us going through something so horrific.

clearmydebts

Dinah93 wrote: »

I suggested an au pair/nanny to NIM, but we costed it up and it would come to about £220 a month more than my after tax wage, so it's a no. I wanted to go back half time, best of both worlds, and we'd be comfortable with regards to finances.

Sorry he's had a bad day. I've had a couple like that where I've just handed her to NIM and gone off by myself for a few minutes to gather myself together. I'm not looking forward to teething time!

Just got word through my other preemie group (only in 3 but its nice to talk to other mums stuck inside) that another baby is in hospital with RSV, 8 month old 27 weeker, he's on heart-lung bypass, so anyone who prays, please put him in them please. I'm always very aware that it could just as easily be Grace and us going through something so horrific.

I don't know what to suggest to you. It just sounds like a horrible situation. Do you both get childcare vouchers? Would that not go a good bit of a way towards a childminder? I found the cost of childcare very high in the UK compared to Ireland. I go back to work 2 days a week from Jan and I have found a really good childminder to mind my 2 for €55 a day. I know her and she is really good.

I certainly will say a prayer for that little fella.

Max was just being a toddler but I feel like I am coming down with a bad cold (runny nose, scratchy throat) and I have really bad PMT this month. It doesn't help. I was really angry with him twice today

Dinah93

We can both get childcare vouchers, but we're still looking at around £16,500 a year for the cheapest nanny, can't even do childminders as she will probably have children after school, or who have siblings at school, so she can't go there. I think I just have to remember it's not her fault she came early and this is for the best. Come April we can try a group maybe as it's out of RSV season. And we can go to the park group if there is ever a Monday she's not in hospital or it's not raining.