The Ultimate Hard and Fast debt clearing mission

wendz86

Unfortunately OH didn't get the mobile number, would have thought he would with his job lol. We wont have to pay excess as we dont have any damage but i will lose my no claim discount, thats only at a year anyway so not end of the world just a bit annoying.

Thats a difficult one about what to spend the money on. I would probably do the car loan and then move the 0% credit card money to a new one when it runs out.

I had an email about that on slice the pie but havent tried yet,might give it a go.

Dinah93

Been enjoying STP this morning, while Catwalk stopped working for some reason I've been doing the music, and almost every track has been from the new Mumford & Son's album - who I love. Getting paid to listen to one of my favourite bands? Yes please.

Birdie85

Sorry you didn't get the job NIM, good luck on Tuesday though!

I'm so excited, OH told me to book Monday off work but I didn't know why. Turns out he's booked us train tickets to London, night in a hotel down there and we're doing the Harry Potter studio tour on Monday! :j Yay! :j He knows how to spoil his wifey!

Dinah93

Wow that's a fantastic surprise Birdie, I'm sure you'll have a great time.

ruby_eskimo

Glad to hear that Grace is home now!

That's such a nice surprise Birdie! Hope you have a great time.

Had a really rubbish week here. Hen weekend in Liverpool was fantastic but came home to a pile of crap. Starting to have doubts about being with OH...Have realised that he is quite "controlling"; we like different things which is fine, but I'll go along to his things and support him whereas he will moan and moan about "having" to go to the things I want to do till I give in and we don't go.

Don't know if I'm over reacting or what but something's changed and I'm not sure what. Been feeling so sick all week and finally realised it's like constant anxiety/nervousness. But I don't know what it's about! He went out with his work friends last night so I was in the flat on my own, but I couldn't settle and just went to bed at 9 so that I didn't have to go on feeling listless.

I know I need to talk to him but I don't know what to say because I don't know what's wrong.

Sorry, I just needed somewhere to vent this because he's apparently monitoring the rest of my online stuff but not here....

Dinah93

Jesus Ruby, he monitors what you do online? That does sound really controlling and a little unhinged if I'm honest. I have plenty of experience of feeling anxious in your own home, and it's not a way you want to live long term. Sometimes it's not a case of being with a bad person, just that you're not a good fit together. Some things you can talk about and change in a relationship, but if he makes you anxious that's not one of them. Have you lived together before or could that be what has changed things for you? Is there anything else that you could be nervous about, something with work perhaps, or is it his behaviour that is what you're thinking about?

!!!!! morning here, found out my auntie has advanced cancer. She's going in for a full hysterectomy, and a scan also as soon as possible to find out if it's spread, but they think it has. We were hoping to wait until next year to take Grace to meet her as she's about 7 hours away, but I want to go and see her now. Grace is still at her gran's due to my cold, and I just feel so lost.

archersluck

Oh gosh Ruby & Dinah, what rubbish news.
Sending good vibes about your auntie Dinah, is that your mum or dads sister? I think it would be lovely to see and her, and let her meet Grace once she's recovered from the hysterectomy if you can

Eek Ruby, I was reading thinking that he might just be a bit selfish until I saw your last line. That is totally not on. I'm so sorry you feel anxious, I think I would too if I felt I had tabs being kept on me and I was missing out on things just to keep someone else happy. Does he have form for this kind of thing? With previous girlfriends or anything? Do you think it's something he'd be willing to work on, counselling or something if he has past reasons for being paranoid? I'd definitely listen to what your intuition is telling you though.

I did manage to get a doctors appointment and as Doctor Poolie thought, I am tonsillitis ridden. Doped up on a cocktail of anti biotics and codeine and planning a quiet weekend.

Dinah93

Is anyone on this thread actually feeling healthy today?!

Dad's sister, she's about 3 years older than him. Does anyone know where I can get a container for a cake to send through the post? She commented that she needed a good carrot cake to cheer her up and nowhere nearby has a nice one, was going to try to send her one just so she knows we're thinking of her, but I don't want it to turn up a mass of crumbs.

ruby_eskimo

So sorry to hear about your aunt Dinah, it never rains but it pours eh? I would go and see her as soon as possible, it would probably do her wonders to meet Grace.

I had no idea until yesterday when I told him about everyone at work being nice to me yesterday and he said "Oh I know, so and so at work told me you put it on Twitter". I was absolutely horrified because he works for the Police. He said that they just swept past my accounts every couple of days. The thing that shocked me was that he didn't see a problem with it. I think that's what's tipped me over the edge today, almost had a panic attack in town walking up the street because I had all these thoughts going through my head.

I think the reality of living together has started to set in. Basically in my mind now, we have nothing in common, we don't really talk and it's become pretty obvious since we aren't in a long distance relationship any longer. I'm so confused because if I left him, then I would have no where to go. I have no friends here (they are his friends first) and I'm scared of being on my own. Then I think maybe it's just me being stupid and I'm sabotaging things in my mind and I should just see what happens.

I really don't know what to do.

Dinah93

Does he make you smile? If being around him brings out your happy side then you're freaking out and it'll pass. If you prefer time where he's at work, or don't look forward to him coming home, then things need looking at. It is possible though you've moved away from everything you know and all your people, and are expecting him to fill the void that all of those people and activities used to, and as such the problem isn't him but that on his own he can't make your life as rich as you are used to.

Staying because it's practical won't make things any better, although if it is just a panic then it might give things time to pass. Being on your own is often a good way to finding out who you really are and what you want. Or find a room to rent with some housemates until you can find a job back where your friends are.

Ultimately it's not a decision you need to make over night, maybe it's worth talking to him, see how he feels? He might be unaware you are uncomfortable, but make sure you know what you want to achieve out of the conversation before it starts.