The Ultimate Hard and Fast debt clearing mission

shrimpy_80

Hi Cranny :hello:

Tete, that's spooky that you have suggested Sober September, I was only thinking earlier today about trying to get 30 days without alcohol crossed off my day zero list and whether it would be a good time to do it (after effects of wine Sunday morning didn't help). I have absolutely zilch in the way of will power but will gladly give it a go with you. I haven't been massively overdoing it but I don't need to these days to get a hangover plus it will help with saving the pennies.

Dinah, I always felt that you would love to be a SAHM (apologies if I have that wrong ) and I have every faith in you to make up the £300 if that is what you decide. Is that just to make ends meet or to be comfortable? Hopefully you will be entitled to help with Gracie as Cranny says

Wendz, that is very tough about the wedding. I don't blame your OH for feeling hurt, and with him in the police it isn't just like a 'normal' job is it. Hope it gets sorted it would be a shame if he missed it.

I have started a new diet every Monday for the past few weeks :rotfl: need to sort myself out! I only want to lose about half a stone, need to stop faffing and just do it! Should read my own sig!

Birdie85

Sober September would be good... but it's OH's birthday on the 9th so that could trip me up! Maybe I should try Mostly-Sober September!

Archers, it was the Bierkeller we went to and it was brilliant! So much fun, I want to go back! My bum hurt a lot the next day from all of the up-and-downing on the hard benches though! Not to mention my head... and I felt full for about 3 days because of all the beer I drank!

Hugs for scabby knees and bruised legs Tete and Archers!

Sent off for my new passport today and Oh. My. God. I hate having passport photos taken! I look so old and tired, I looked in the mirror seconds before the photo was taken and I looked fine... bl00dy photo makes me look like I've just aged 20 years! :eek: Was worried that the PO lady would say I need my photo signed by someone because my appearance has altered so much since the last one!

I'm doing the Biggest Loser in a couple of weeks at work (half a dozen teams battling it out to lose the highest percentage of body weight over 6 weeks) and I really have to work hard at it, in a team with my manager and she'll kick my backside if I let her down! We already do weekly weigh-ins but I put 4lb on about 10 weeks ago and stayed the same ever since with the odd week of losing a pound then finding it again the following week... its a bit of a running joke in our group now so I have to lose the weight and it has to stay off!

clearmydebts

Just a quick dip in here to say hi and ask Dinah if she will be entitled to tax credits with NIM's wages?

N.I.M

Not that my wage depresses me or anything

I'd be surprised if were not entitled to something.

Dinah93

N.I.M wrote: »

Mums are good that way, mine in particular, I've seen men cry with just a look from her.

Sweetheart your mother doesn't make them cry she turns them to stone.

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

I've been thinking about my Day Zero lately too, I did so well with it last year and have barely done a thing for months on end. I've followed those who put links up so you should be able to see mine (if you're interested!) - but as Birdie (?) said, there are a few things that need altering I think.

Dinah and NIM - is there any way you could both go part-time and share Grace's care between you? Just a thought.

I'm loving all the diet talk, I'm going to start myself up again from Monday (after my weekend in London) - I was at the races on Friday and managed to lose my balance in a pothole and I've got a right scabby and bruised knee now Hoping it'll be OK for Monday so I can restart the 30DS - but I'm having real issues with my hip too - gah!

I'm also going to do Sober September if anyone fancies joining me? what with holiday and weddings and races and weekends away, August has been pretty full on and I want a bit of a detox. Hoping it'll kick start the weight loss too.

How's the hip? I still can't get back to 30DS as I'm walking like a thunderbird. Did manage to do a lot more walking yesterday though - 4.97km, need to work out what that is in miles and update my sig later. Hoping by Thursday I might be moving nearly normally again. Did you manage to start 30DS yesterday?

We have considered both going part time, or NIM giving up instead since he earns a bit less, but there are flaws. Firstly we're fairly sure his company would say no. In addition while I have no issue being trapped in my current job as I'm not going anywhere anyway since it's been badly hit by the recession so there are no promotion opportunities, he would like to take the next step up the ladder, and it would be very hard to do this if he was limited to part time only jobs. Him giving up instead of me makes more financial sense, but it was discussed and agreed that if one of us is home with Grace, they do by and large need to be taking on the homemaker role, if I was working I would not expect to come home and have a couple of hours of cleaning a night, or to be doing the budgets, and NIM especially feels that I'm more suited to the household management role than he is (in no small part down to the completely, wildly different goalposts for when we each consider the house clean and tidy). I am finding the idea of giving up a stable job on coming up to £30k difficult, considering applying for a years sabbatical instead so I could go back when she's bigger and stronger. Equally if I manage to find a way to make money from home in that time I can just not return after the sabbatical. I really don't like the idea that I'm not contributing to the house financially, and my sole purpose is cleaner, feeder and bottom changer.

On that note I bit the bullet and handed over to my dad the first 10 product mock ups I devised for him to show his soon to be business partner. Dad thinks if he pitches all 10 the guys head will explode, so he'll start with the ones he thinks are perfect fits for the company, and when the guys eyes start to glaze he'll stop pitching for the day. If I could get some of these products bringing me in a few pennies I'd be a very happy camper indeed. Still not sure I could quit my job though. Maybe it's the DFW in me - for so long I've had the attitude that you must grab every penny and pay it off/save it/keep it from the nasty businesses who want to fleece you, that to give up so many of them for the unquantifiable time with Grace and her health seems very difficult to comprehend.

I might try Sober September but not for booze - I need to quit the diet coke! I was getting through about 3-6 cans a day, I have managed to cut that down to 1 500ml bottle in the last 10 days which isn't bad. I've only drunk once I think in the whole of August, at my cousin's hen do. Even then I went to bed at midnight where they were just getting ready to go on the town, and throughout the dinner I tried a mouthful of each wine (was a proper wine tasting dinner for each of 5 courses of nibbles) then the rest went into a cousin's glass. Except the champagne, it's rude not to drink that!

I'm the same with my 101 things, would love to get a few more crossed off. I was wondering if it was cheating to change 'go to York races' to just 'go to the Races' - I've been to York before and Ascot was a whole lot more fun and dressy.

archersluck wrote: »

Dinah - how was York? I was jolted on many a cobble in my pushchair when I was little I'm sure and I ended up just fine....
Big decisions ahead! It's pretty exciting, sure you have everything sorted out but would it not make sense for NIM to stay home? Or as Tete said, both go part time if possible? I know you've said in the past how hard it'd be to get back into your job if you were starting out again. I'd hate to think of you relying on tax credits and Mr Cameron leaving you starving, from what I've read there are changes ahead for couples who use them to afford a parent to stay at home

York wasn't as bad as we thought it might be - it wasn't the cobbles that were concerning us, but the fact every shop and cafe is in an old building, up a few steps, with a narrow door, and we wouldn't be able to take her in anywhere as I couldn't bend over to help lift the pram. We did have to be quite picky with our cafe and lunch spot (National Trust cafe had loads of space for buggies and was filled with grandparents who flocked to see her, and then Pitcher and Piano for lunch, which while being a pub had a buggy at every single table, again presumably because it was spacious with level access). Had a nice day, mum was in the mood to splash the cash so she bought me a new skirt, top and handbag from a few independent places and hotel chocolat dark chocolate (I may be dieting but I NEED my daily fix, and the dark stuff is supposed to be good for the heart, immune system, all kinds of things). Grace got treated to a dress from M&S (with a pocket with a winne the poo piglet toy sewn into it - all clothes should have a piglet pocket), 3 bandana bibs, 2 bibs/neckerchiefs from Joules, a modern baby dress from zara (more like a child's dress than a baby pink puffball one), a top with fabric flowers all over it and a toy bunny. I felt spoilt, Grace just liked all the lights - will have to take her at Christmas as I think Christmas trees will blow her mind.

It would indeed be impossible for me to re-enter my field where I am now, my specialism is something I'd probably loose since I don't have an official qualification in it. I keep wondering if there would be any chance I could work say 2 days a week, go into the office one of those days, work from home the other, the day I'm in the office to an early start (7am and work through until lunchtime) and that way mum could have Grace then as she has 1/2 a day off a week. One of NIMs colleagues was allowed to work more family friendly hours for a few years, so there is also the chance he could work his 40 hours over 4 1/2 days rather than 5, and that way between him and mum they could cover one day, meaning I could be in the office that day. I'm not sure how possible that might be though.

We made the decision to run all our projected budgets based on not getting any benefits other than the standard £81 a month or whatever it is child benefit which most people get. Another thing I'm having a hard time with I may just have to learn to accept - that I may have to claim help from the state due to Grace's health. I'm very proud of standing on our own two feet and not living off benefits, but Grace's health comes first and I'll do whatever it takes to keep her well even if it means I'm ashamed of where the money comes from.

Cranny44 wrote: »

I read your thread with such admiration for you...

Just thought i would ask if you have applied for DLA for Grace and if (and i think she should be) awarded Medium or High DLA then you can also apply for carers allowance this should make up your £300+ loss a month. As medium DLA is £53.45 and carers about the same.

Hi Cranny, lovely to meet you.

I haven't applied for anything, from reading the disabilities board on here it looks like everyone is just refused for it so I've put it off. I have run the figures though as you say, and if we were awarded it it would solve our problems. I have an appointment with a carers charity on Friday to discuss. As Archers says though I'd feel very uncomfortable about relying on benefits in case the rules are suddenly changed at any point and we can no longer make ends meet, urgh, I really need to find a way to make some money from home!

shrimpy_80 wrote: »

H

Dinah, I always felt that you would love to be a SAHM (apologies if I have that wrong ) and I have every faith in you to make up the £300 if that is what you decide. Is that just to make ends meet or to be comfortable? Hopefully you will be entitled to help with Gracie as Cranny says

In the abstract sense I would love to be a stay at home, I can't imagine anything more fulfilling than raising your own children. Reality though is very hard for me, the idea of being stuck inside for months on end through winter, and always having to count the pennies (which I'll feel I don't have a right to decide how to spend since I didn't earn them), I'd sort of got it into my head that I'd go back part time, a nice balance between providing and caring, I just can't see how I'm going to be settled if I don't contribute.

The shortfall is basically to live as we do now - no big holidays, but days out at the weekend, new clothes when we need them, two tanks of petrol a month, meat on the table for most meals etc. We could obviously make some cuts to this, maybe save another £70 a month? but we'd prefer things to not be quite as close to the bone if we can help it.

The shortfall does assume we're not making any payments to credit cards/loans though.

Dinah93

Jebus. Anyone still with me or did I just send the lot of you fleeing the thread blinking and cursing that you ought to be paid to read that amount of mindless drivelling?

ruby_eskimo

I'm still with you! It's good to write these things down, it helps you sort through it in your own head. I know what you mean about not wanting to take benefits but every little bit helps. OH's mum was told she was entitled to DLA because of her arthritis but she kept refusing. Eventually she realised that the £50 a week she ended up getting would help her petrol costs to go to the hospital for her (many) appointments and help pay for her delivery costs for her internet shopping because she can't walk around the shops much any more.

Hope you can get it all sorted soon.

N.I.M

TBH I'm definitely not too proud to claim. I've paid in since about 2 weeks after I moved to this country, time to benefit from m'taxes rather than just paying them for a change. NI I've gotten a LOT out of mind

Kepp

I'm still here too!

I think the sabbatical is a fantastic idea - would give you time to get a feel for things and try some money making from home ideas with the safety net of being able to return to work if you wanted/needed to. I took a 6 month career break back at the end of 2009. To be fair I wandered round Africa for 6 months rather than anything productive but it was great to be able to walk back into my job and start earning again straight away when I needed to.

I also understand your reservations about benefits but there's a big difference between sponging when you could easily go to work having never paid into the system to begin with and making a valid claim in order to be able to give your daughter the care she needs. I don't think anyone would think badly of you for that.

Cinny91

Dinah93 wrote: »

Jebus. Anyone still with me or did I just send the lot of you fleeing the thread blinking and cursing that you ought to be paid to read that amount of mindless drivelling?

Bit of both. Although it was more to the office kitchen to fetch an orange then back to settle in to read the rest

I think the only problem with anticipating a shortfall is you don't know how good you are at cutting according to your cloth until it's right in front of you. Say your fridge is empty, and you have £2 in your pocket to get dinner on the table. You'd make it work. Not saying it'll get that bad, mind! Just trying to say, the reality is always a lot easier to deal with than the thought?

Glad you had a nice day in York, and your Mum is totally lovely for spoiling you. Grace's piglet dress sounds adorable!

I have to second the love for your Mum, Birdie. She sounds like a total poppet I love it when Mum's are protective of their kids like that when they're adults. My Mum's just gone into that mode over me and my Sister and I have to say it's the sweetest yet most terrifying things I've ever witnessed.

Would reply to more but I don't want to come across as rude or grumpy as I'm really not myself today Back on my anxiety medication and my trichotillomania has flared back up. I feel like a right potato for letting this all get to me again