what are the best value dating sites?

coin_operated_girl

*max* wrote: »

Coin operated girl - no offense intended at all because you sound so very nice, but you do also also sound like something straight out of "The Little House on The Prairie". I'm guessing you're totally "gorgeous and don't know it" (well, know it but too shy to admit it) and frankly, I hate you. (jk)

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: thanks (I think)

newcook

I reply to all my messages apart from the ones that just say ‘hi’ or ‘hows you’ – the way I see it is that if I was in a pub and someone came over and said hello to me I wouldn’t just look them up and down and walk off.

I also cant do the multiple dating – Im bad enough deciding if I want to drink white or rose let alone trying to decide between 2 men!

coin_operated_girl wrote: »

Not sure theres a big spark there but its hard to tell after just one date, we certainly got on well though.

im a big believer in the spark and for me, if its not there on the first date then they wont get another

sapphireeye

Hi all! I'm going to start reading this thread and might come and join you in a week or so's time! The only reason I'm not joining up now is because I'm a (mature) university student am visiting home for the next week so don't see much point joining up when I'm not here! I think I'm going to have a go with a match.com one month membership since I can get cashback on quite a lot of the cost, though I might consider the 6 months!

I seem to have no success in meeting men in real life, I was ok when I was working full-time because I worked for big companies where I was always meeting new people but now I'm 24 and at university I just don't seem to be meeting any men, and definitely not men my own age (24) or older! I've tried joining clubs and going along to new things but all the men I meet seem to be either a lot younger than me, are already taken or have no interest in having a girlfriend. I'm not the needy type and I'm not really desperate to find someone but I'm at a stage where it's been a couple of years since my last long-term relationship and I think it would be quite nice to have a man in my life, which is probably a better reason to join an online dating site than because I can't cope without having a boyfriend! The only thing that worries me is that though I primarily spend my time in my university city, I do go for visits home and I worry that that will put people off! However I'm quite happy to drive back to my university city (2 hour drive roughly) for the weekend, or not go home if I met someone worth staying for.

The idea of meeting someone for the first time off a website scares me a bit as well, mainly I think in case I don't live up to their expectations or in case it's really awkward! I think part of what puts me off is because once, a man from my company that i'd never met started chatting to me on facebook and he didn't really look my type but he seemed nice and chatty so we agreed to meet up but in real life he was nothing like how he came across online! In fact he was really awkward and I was desperately trying to make conversation but he didn't have much to contribute, and started telling me about how he thought he'd met the love of his life but she'd been killed by a drink driver and he very clearly wasn't over it... Despite all of this he seemed to really like me and when I tried to make my excuses and leave (after an hour or two of real effort on my part) he kept trying to get me to stay which made it more awkward! So I suppose I'm a bit worried about something like that happening again because I felt really uncomfortable!

pea-benn

Well, I'm definately in the multi-date camp! I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think it is to be expected and I, being an avid MSEer, like to get my money's worth!! I also think that having several 'on the go' at once means that when one doesn't work out, there's always the next one!

Sapphireeye - If you are worried about awkward dates, My advice would be to speak on the phone first. I don't always but if there's someone I'm not quite sure of then I usually do. There have been a few who i've not gone any further with because I could tell be speaking to them, they were not right for me. When you do have a nice chat, it's lovely and you look forward to meeting them. When you don't, you've saved the effort of getting ready and money of a date!

Jenny P - I hope you have more luck with tonight's date.

coin_operated_girl

I just got asked out on another date by someone I have been chatting to. They are all coming out of the woodwork now Again, he seems really nice. Only problem is that I live in London and he doesn't. I can't really afford to travel to where he lives (I know it would cost about £20 as he lives very near to where my ex used to live) and he is in a wheelchair and I'm not really sure how wheelchair accessible London is- most of the underground stations seem to be appallingly unfriendly for disabled people.

I know this is massively jumping the gun, but even if we did get on really well I'm not sure how it would work out in the long run as the tube station nearest me doesn't have a lift, the buses take forever (takes about an hour to go the equivalent of 3 stops on the tube on the weekend) and my house has a massive flight of stairs. I live in a shared house with people I don't really know so sleeping downstairs wouldn't be an option (theres no space for that anyway). I know I'm really over thinking this, but I just don't want to waste his time if really its not going to work straight from the beginning. I'm not sure why I even started speaking to him, living in London is pretty high on my criteria as I don't want to do the long distance thing again, so I must have missed that he doesn't live near me. On the other hand, he does seem really nice and I'm sure other people must face similar difficulties.

coin_operated_girl

...just got asked out by another (the forth and final) guy I've been chatting to. I think I've stepped into some kind of parallel universe. Again, he seems nice (obviously, otherwise I wouldn't still be talking to him) and I think he is the best looking guy I have spoken to. Hmmmm, I feel like this dating thing is getting a bit out of hand now. I felt guilty when the second guy asked me out, but going on dates with four guys... doesn't sit well with my conscience. Trouble is, I'm far too polite to say no and I have no real reason to say no. If they seem nice and we have things in common, then why not? Obviously if I actually started dating someone then I wouldn't carrying on meeting other people. Chances are they won't really be interested once they meet me, I'm not the most interesting or exciting person ever.

There_Goes_Trouble

Don't say no. You're not dating 4 guys, you're meeting up with 4 new people. Chances are you'll only really get on with one or maybe two.

If there were two new blokes started at work on the same day and you really liked them both initially, wouldn't you carry on chatting with both of them until one 'clicked' more than the other? You wouldn't be 'dating' either of them, just chatting.... well that's all you're doing here!

JennyP

I'm in the multi-date camp too. VERY firmly.
My reasoning -
1. Like ThereGoesTrouble says, you are meeting people, not dating people. If a relationship started, I would not continue seeing the other guys.
2. I am upfront and honest about the fact that I'm talking to several people so I am not deceiving anyone. My date last night asked me how many dates I'd been on recently and I told him honestly. He told me honestly too!
3. It's such a roller coaster ride of emotions. I for one feel quite deflated if I meet someone and there is no spark (my first date) or if I meet someone and like him but he doesn't like me (my second date). I know I should be grounded, love myself etc etc and be less affected by it all but I'm not. KNowing that if this one doesn't work out, there is another one I'm seeing next week makes it easier to handle.
4. It is fun. It is a social life!

Having said that, last night's bloke was lovely and we really got on and have said we'll meet again. I just want to know WHEN we'll meet again now. Once I meet someone I like, I just want to get on with it!

JennyP

My housemate says I shouldn't just sit there when I am not enjoying the date. He says I should have the courage to say politely, that I already know the man isn't for me. I did this once - after one drink. He asked, "Do you want another drink?" I said, "No thanks. You're very nice but I think we both know this isn't going to work out so what would be the point?" He thanked me for my honesty and that was that.

I think especially if the guy has lied in some way like about age then you shouldn't even need to have the drink. I mean, I once met a guy who described himself as tall when he was 5'4". This was on a Christian website too. I was just really put off by the lie, not his height. I stayed that time and had a very dull evening. I wish in hindsight that I'd said then that he wasn't what he said he was and I was sorry but I wouldn't stay for the drink.

Mr Right, if you're out there, please describe yourself accurately!!!!

VestanPance

Reading the stories here and hearing some from workmates I really have no idea how anyone can be bothered with dating. Spent time this morning with a younger workmate who seems to be on the verge of a mental breakdown over his date tonight. Poor lad is fine with women he has no interest in, but as soon as he likes someone he appears to turn into a complete idiot.

I'm sure I'd be classed as a 'weirdo' by most single women. Makes the whole not dating thing rather simple, but it does beg the question why do any single blokes I know come and ask my advice on dating!