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Lotus-eater

VestanPance wrote: »

Reading the stories here and hearing some from workmates I really have no idea how anyone can be bothered with dating. Spent time this morning with a younger workmate who seems to be on the verge of a mental breakdown over his date tonight. Poor lad is fine with women he has no interest in, but as soon as he likes someone he appears to turn into a complete idiot.

That sounds familiar

VestanPance wrote: »

I'm sure I'd be classed as a 'weirdo' by most single women.

That also sounds familiar No reason to not date though, there is always someone interested in you, just don't choose mainstream women, that's what I'd do.

VestanPance wrote: »

Makes the whole not dating thing rather simple, but it does beg the question why do any single blokes I know come and ask my advice on dating!

Maybe because you are older than them, maybe you have a wise feeling about you.

VestanPance

I'm certainly older.

I'm not dating because I don't think I'd get on with anyone. I'm not dating as I don't believe I could fully commit or trust anyone again.

JennyP

I turn into an idiot if I really like someone too!
My date from last night was lovely. Said he liked me. Said could we meet up again. Bit of hand holding during the date.
Then loads and loads of texts this morning.
All looking promising but then....he is apparently too busy for a second date.

So this week my total is: one who likes me but is "confused" so doesn't want a second date and one who likes me but is too busy for a second date.

And the point of these guys trying to find someone in the first place is....?

Vestanpance, thank you for being honest and NOT dating when you don't think that you could commit! I wish these guys would also take a look at themselves and decide whether they're in a position to actually have a relationship before they start looking for one!

Lotus-eater

VestanPance wrote: »

I'm not dating because I don't think I'd get on with anyone. I'm not dating as I don't believe I could fully commit or trust anyone again.

Well you were the one that mentioned being classed as a weirdo, I was just trying to tell you that people are all different, not all the women out there want a footballer look alike who lives in a big house.

As for the other, I did know that and I hope one day you feel that it's the right time for you to start trusting someone.

JennyP

runningwoman wrote: »

(thankfully the nice academic was running late, really good catch, and we had a lovely time together, got a nice message from him just the other week to catch up, bless him).

So if the nice academic was nice, you had a lovely time and he's a really good catch, why aren't you seeing him?

I can't fathom this week why my two really good dates have both failed to materialise into anything!

And if you don't want the academic and he IS a good catch, can you throw him my way please?

I hate the fact that I am now left with only two possibilities. One lives miles away and is going away too so we can't meet till December so I suspect that won't happen (though he sounds ideal) and one is on Monday though I'm thinking of asking him if he could do Saturday instead because the Apprentice is on on Monday night!

VestanPance

Jenny not wanting to be a merchant of doom and gloom, but as far as I can see in dating from numerous stories "confused" or "too busy" more often than not is a gentle let down. People who aren't man enough to say "thanks for a lovely evening, but I don't see it going anywhere".

Either that or if they may have multiple dates lined up so they may be short on time and waiting to see how the other dates play out first.

VestanPance

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Well you were the one that mentioned being classed as a weirdo, I was just trying to tell you that people are all different, not all the women out there want a footballer look alike who lives in a big house.

I'm the least bothered person I know about my personal appearance, that's never been an issue for me. If anything I probably have an over inflated self worth on that one.

I tend to get on with most folk, but truly connect with very few. I'm really not a people person. I think I fit the quiet guy that toddles off and does his own thing remit pretty well. Next years goal a run a marathon and then do Ironman UK.

JennyP

VestanPance wrote: »

Jenny not wanting to be a merchant of doom and gloom, but as far as I can see in dating from numerous stories "confused" or "too busy" more often than not is a gentle let down. People who aren't man enough to say "thanks for a lovely evening, but I don't see it going anywhere".

Either that or if they may have multiple dates lined up so they may be short on time and waiting to see how the other dates play out first.

I think confused man wasn't man enough definitely. And actually, the sad little phone conversation we had made me feel sorry for him instead of fancying him!

But the other guy ... I don't know. I think you are probably right and he is doing the mutliple dating thing. I am going to ask him.

Someone (Einstein?) said something like, If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.

In the situation with the chap who is busy I would normally either:
1. Wait around for the second date with my hopes up (i.e. total mug)
2. Dump him immediately with no discussion

I am going to do neither of those things. I am going to ask him if Vestanpance is right! Is he doing the multiple dating thing?

I am tied up every night next week too so it might appear that I am doing the multiple date thing too but it's not with dating activities. I have too many friends!!!

Li0nhead

Right thats it women are evil. I'm turning gay!



(joking)

JennyP

Li0nhead wrote: »

Right thats it women are evil. I'm turning gay!

Would you like Mr Confused's number ? My date from the other night? He's in Sheffield and I see you're in Yorkshire too!!!