what are the best value dating sites?

VestanPance

pea-benn wrote: »

I've written quite a few messages but hardly any of them have been read. OK, it could be me but my conclusion is that hardly anyone has actually paid up so can't read the messages. I think this is one area that the sites could be a bit more open about - ie show you who can read messages so you don't waste time on them!

Having looked over these sites from a GUI design perspective they are designed to attract new customers, not to aid signed up customers. Even the free sites have elements of this, probably to generate advertising revenue. Some like Match also appear to try and make it as awkward as possible to cancel your account.

For example you can return searches on all manner of criteria on many of the sites, but not for paid up active members. They all allow a sign up and browse without payment. This creates a larger base of "users" when searches are run, but at no point can you tell what users are actually fully signed up members of the site. The best any seem to offer is a last logged in date, which could be any type of user.

In simple terms they want to create an illusion on the number of people using the site to attract more people. I think if you could filter it down to actual fully paid up member the searches would be returning far smaller results. If you think the user pool is small your less likely to sign up.

Their search engines also assume certain things with no user input. I can't remember what site it was (possibly OKCupid) but ladies do you know that at least one of these sites filters out men earning less than you from your recommended results? They assume no lady would date a man earning less than them! That may be one of your criteria, but it's a rather large assumption to say all ladies think that way.

JennyP

A site with a smaller user pool - you'd definitely be less likely to sign up but I think if such a site was started, and run along really ethical, transparent lines, wouldn't we all start using it and it would grow and grow?

I'm thinking something that was perhaps run partly as a social enterprise, not just with profit as a driving force, but with the genuine motivation to bring people together.

I'm just a daft idealist aren't I?

VestanPance

From a technical view point it's very simple to do. In fact with minimal effort some of the current sites could be run that way.

The main block to doing something like that is funding. The start up costs would be large, advertising, as would be support costs until you had user base paying in enough to cover the cost of everything.

You'd also no doubt if successful be under pressure to sell to one one the current large players, or find them trying to get you bumped down search results in the popular search engines.

JennyP

Any idea what it would cost?
Not only am I single, I am unemployed and seeking my vocation!

pea-benn

I like your idea Jenny. I can't help thinking that there must be a slightly different way of doing things.

I did think Lovestruck was a bit different as it matches you on where you work with the idea of meeting for lunch. Perfect I thought, I work in central London and meeting someone for a quick lunch to see if there's a spark would be a great use of time. What's even more frustrating is that there seem to be a higher proportion of profiles that I actually like the look of.

Scotty1.7

Cheers for all the comments folks- its very thoughtfull of you all.

I am on alot, maybe all, the free dating sites and it seems the same on all aspects- you send message after message after message with little or no return.

I've done the paid for sites and after spending a fair chunk of cash on them amd getting no were- mainly cause so many profiles were actually fake ones and weren't full members- I decided that they were no longer value for money or worth while.

I don't struggle with putting emotion and feelings out there- It prob my biggest flaw that I wear them too openly and honestly.

Lotus-eater

Scotty1.7 wrote: »

I don't struggle with putting emotion and feelings out there- It prob my biggest flaw that I wear them too openly and honestly.

That may be a problem. I would shy away from a woman who screamed loneliness and unhappiness, I'm not saying you are doing that (haven't looked at your profile), but feelings shown too early will put people off.

VestanPance

JennyP wrote: »

Any idea what it would cost?
Not only am I single, I am unemployed and seeking my vocation!

Kind of a how long is a piece of string question.

To have a site written by software engineers would be costly. You'd also need to cost of hosting it on servers, the cost in software for transactions. You're disaster recovery and backups, data protection. Advertising etc.

There are dozens of sites like this launched each year, most don't make it past a year.

lufcgirl

I'm going to meet someone from a website tomorrow afternoon too! Just to play some pool and talk. We haven't talked loads online which means there's much more to find out about each other in person.

Although I'm not expecting anything to come of it relationship wise, as I'm just out of a serious relationship and couldn't do it again for a long time...it'll be nice to just meet as a friend and see how things head. And pool is good because it distracts me, yet it's not like a cinema where you have to be in silence the whole time!

JennyP

I think there's something to be said for doing an activity on a date rather than just sitting there opposite each other, nursing a drink!

Having said that, I've never tried it!