what are the best value dating sites?

SailorSam

LukerHutcher if you're looking for some nsa action, PoF have their 'intimate encounters' section. I don't know if it works or if the women on it are any more real than the paid sites, but at least it's not costing the earth to find out.

fordcortina

Oh my lord! I didn't log on yesterday... and reading today's comments... I'm even more terrified of trying to find the correct route forward!

Anyway... moving on... as I mentioned a day or so ago, I registered with Match and eHarmony (but as basic, not as a paid up member... and no photo as yet).

I've received emails hinting that... a) someone had viewed my profile b) asked for details/picture c) nudged or winked (can't remember the exact phrase d) been selected as a match... and finally... as I haven't yet 'taken the next step... e) Match sent me a 30% off link (don't know if it's directly coded/attributed to myself, or I'd have included it here).

I also registered with Smooch and I will probably register with PoF too... but I've been a little too cowardly to stick a photo on or start contacting anyone as of yet.

Must 'bite the bullet' though, as one thing for sure... if you don't put the effort in... you'll definitely find no-one! Probably start with the free sites, as I still am not sure whether Match or eH offer the best option. SailorSam's link to reviews of Match suggested that they might be a little less than ideal(!), but others have liked them. It's the same with eH. I don't want to be paying for both, so it may end up with flipping a coin!

SailorSam

FordCortina, getting away from the dating sites for a minute, do you have a MeetUp in your area, i've not used them 'cos it's not local enough but it's just groups of people with similar interests that arrange social days/nights out together.

http://www.meetup.com/about/

VestanPance

To be honest no site is the golden goose in terms of meeting someone. Your chances of getting dates will depend on your looks and writing style. Once on a date the chances of success depend on your compatibility.

Free sites can be very busy in terms of numbers, but they will also attract time wasters due to them being free to sign up for. That doesn't mean everyone is a time waster or nutter. The upside to them is it's a no loss situation. You sign up and send your messages and hope for the best. Worst case you get nowhere and quit the site.

The paid sites are "clever" in how they display information. You always have to remember a pay site is not there to help you meet someone, it's there to generate income. Pay sites will encourage people who are more likely to be serious in meeting someone, time wasters are unlikely to pay £20 a month or more to just mess about. The downside is that they hide relevant information. You can't tell if a member is paid up and active or not, which inflates the number of users they display to you. I'm sure Match make you phone in to cancel your account which automatically renews and takes the direct debit/card payment if you don't, which is absurd for a web based application. They know it's more inconvenient and thus more likely people will forget and thus they generate more revenue.

The thing with reviewing sites like these is that you tend to have two extremes on exiting them. One is that they found someone and the service was fantastic as it served the intention they wanted. The second is the service is awful, as they never got any responses to messages, or got inundated with perverted messages and it was a waste of time and money.

fordcortina

Thanks for that (again) SailorSam. I had a look at the MeetUp website. I'm in the (not so) sunny North West, which has one or two interesting links, inc for single people... and general things, such as dog walking. They don't seem to have many members though, but a couple of 'events' are coming up over the next few days, so I may 'bob along' to take a look.

VestanPance - I'd say I'm a decent looking guy, who is in his mid 40's and quite intelligent (hopefully one or two ladies agree!), so would hopefully be 'in with a shout' of raising a little bit of interest, if I may put it that way! Your comments about the paid sites, I must admit, goes along with some of the beliefs that I have started to form.

Finally.... I've just looked on Topcashback... and there are currently offers of up to £45 cash back on both Match and eHarmony, depending on length of subscription, obviously. Matchaffinity has up to £76 cash back!

To clarify... using a rough average/approximation... it would do the following to Match and eH's prices:
the usual 1 month cost of £29.99 would offer £20 cashback (£9.99 actual cost, assuming cashback clears OK)
the usual 3 month cost of £19.99 pm would offer £32 cashback (£28 actual cost over the 3 months - give or take a few pence)
the usual 6 month cost £12.99 pm would offer £45 cashback (£33 actual cost, this time over the 6 months)

So.. 2 quick questions. a) what do you think of the offers and b) as I've already registered with Match and eH (not a paid member)... would I have to re-register, using a diffferent password, profile etc via topcashback, in order to qualify for said cash back?

ceecee1

Hello Ford ! not quite sure what to call you !

I'm not sure where you are in the North West but I managed to find a meet up group call North Manchester....took me a while as it seems to be a bit hidden for some reason.

Anyway - they go for meals, bowling, walks, cinema, climbing walls and all sorts of things, Have only been to a couple of things and they have been really welcoming.

I have almost given up with internet dating - just doesn't seem for me somehow !
Good Luck

fordcortina

Thanks ceecee1. Considering some of the things I've been called... Ford's fine (the bad names were all undeserved of course! )

I'm currently on the outskirts of Preston, but have worked in various parts of the country, including Manchester, where I still have friends etc that give me reason to get over there, so I may well take a look a little further afield... inc "North Manchester".

It's surprising how your confidence gets dented (even we men) following a break up. Over the years, I used to get... well... some interest from the opposite sex (and it isn't that long ago), but as I was with a long term partner, I never, ever took advantage of the opportunities.

Then, despite my ex being insanely (and wrongly) jealous of any female I talked to, or even mentioned, I discovered that she had not been so honourable! It took me while to get my head clear, but I still have been unable to get rid of some of the doubts about myself (mid 40's, whether attractive or not... etc, etc). Strange how the mind works!

ceecee1

Doubts.... I know all about those.

I seem to have reached a point where I am oblivious if someone likes me, I just seem to assume that no-one will. I just finish up being friends with men because I just miss the signs.

You would have thought that I would have learned what to do in my 50 years...

Ladyhawk

Meetup is great... though I only ever seem to meet fabulous women and very odd men...

I find that 6 months is rather a long subscription for any of these websites... I'm normally bored by whats offered on them by then and you need to wait for a "new crop" to register before its really worth while. I think I am going to try out a 3 month Match subscription via Topcashback - and yes Fordcortina, you'll need to start from scratch to be eligible for the cashback.

[Deleted User]

Maybe i should start looking again. Another man bites the dust..... All talk of wanting a relationship but when it came dowm to it didnt have the time and let me down..... Funny how they promise you this and promise you that in the first few weeks. Im very wary now, i watch and listen and with this one i learnt money was more important than anything to him.