what are the best value dating sites?

Ladyhawk

Sorry to hear that ImDoingItForMe... but best to learn that about him sooner rather than later

[Deleted User]

Thanks Ladyhawk, not sure what to do atm. Feel all these dating sites are a waste of time, in the past 8months ive been on them, all the men have turned out to be disapointments. One lied, one stole from me and the last was all talk... Think i need a break, all ive learnt is at least i know what i dont want.

Ladyhawk

I know... it's frustrating isn't it. And if one more person says "you'll meet him as soon as you stop looking" I will scream!

I even found myself checking out the ladies on PoF!Figuring that maybe I'll have better luck with them! Then I remembered that I'm not lesbian.

Ladyhawk

oooh... just seen Quidco is offering a better cash back rate than Topcashback.

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fordcortina

ceecee1... & ImDoingItForMe... I feel for you both... I genuinely do. Bad experiences, whether self doubt, or a partner lying or betraying you are awful. Worse still... all logic etc goes out the window and it becomes nigh on impossible to do as you'd advise others and take your own advice!

In your case IDIFM... Ladyhawk is right... better to find out sooner, rather than later. I can promise you, it's not just men doing it though... women these days are just as bad. I've been betrayed by three women... the last one was a 13 year relationship... and was a multiple offender.

You even start to think that it must be something about you, particularly when it happens more than once, but even when deep down, you know you're "one of the good guys". As I said in an earlier post, I was practically stalked for ages by an ex who begged me to take her back, which left me even more confused as to why they'd risk losing everything in the first place.

Anyway IDIFM, there's no point me or anyone else telling you what you should do... because I know as a "fellow sufferer" that you'll have to find your own way through the pain. Just remember that there are others who sincerely wish you the good fortune that we fellow "travellers" also seek. Good luck!

Lightening the mood slightly... thanks again Ladyhawk for the further updates. I've decided that I may give one free site and one paid site a try, for the purposes of a comparison. I actually did what I suggested in jest earlier and flipped a coin for the choice of free site... and smooch won (though I may live to regret it!). I've finally uploaded a picture... and I'm already so terrified that I may take it down before it gets approved!

I'm going to use the cashback offers for either Match, or eH, but I want to "pick the right one" for the paid site, but really can't make my mind up (maybe I should go back and edit my darn profile to include indecisive!).

Just seen your last post Ladyhawk. :rotfl: It reminded me of the Bernard Manning joke when he says, "I couldn't be gay, that's for sure..... it's bad enough being turned down by women, never mind men as well!"

EDIT: No... I've now just seen your... last...last post Ladyhawk! Thanks for that also. Now then... where's that coin... Match... or eHarmony... no... only joking... I really MUST decide properly for that choice...sigh!

[Deleted User]

Ladyhawk wrote: »

I know... it's frustrating isn't it. And if one more person says "you'll meet him as soon as you stop looking" I will scream!

I even found myself checking out the ladies on PoF!Figuring that maybe I'll have better luck with them! Then I remembered that I'm not lesbian.

It is frustrating, and the worst of it is all the men ive met have said the same thing in the begining..... which is, that I (yes it comes down to me) should treat each relationship differently to the last as (and yes they say this) im not the same as your ex :mad: I so laughed at the last guy i met, because i thought here we go de ja vu!!!! They all seem to just want to reel you in for sex on the first couple of dates, so they say what they think you want to hear (and no they dont with me). The last one promised money, holidays and even said i could give up my job!!!!! Then decided he didnt have time anymore to date, so what was he giving up??? Lucky ive got common sense as if other women havnt and are more gullable, they could fall for these men and loose everything.

fordcortina

Hi again ImDoingItForMe. I certainly don't want to make it into a competition, so I won't even cover the amount of lies I've endured. All I'll say, is that there are men, such as myself, who "feel your pain", so to speak. I too have trusted far too much and had my head totally messed up by it being abused.

I regret to say that I honestly believe that these days, really decent people may be the minority, which of course makes you even more concerned as to whether one can be found as a partner! I feel that I should have been born at least one generation earlier! Hopefully, I'll be proven completely wrong and meet mainly good, decent people in future years!

That said, you can only do your best to try and separate the wheat from masses of chaff... and pray that either luck, skill, or even simply the numbers game, leads you to a decent relationship, where both love and respect one another. If you're one of the lucky ones... it'll be worth all the pain. If not, pat yourself on the back for at least doing your best, when many would give up and simply take "whatever crumbs fell off the table", so to speak.

Ladyhawk

I've bitten the bullet and signed up to Match. I will let you know how I get on with Quidco for cashback.

Maureen43

Ladyhawk wrote: »

I've bitten the bullet and signed up to Match. I will let you know how I get on with Quidco for cashback.

Hello Ladyhawk. I'm on Match too. I've had a few dates to date but nothing of significance (although I have another on Saturday )

Can I give you a few hints? Don't answer any emails or winks in the first few weeks and don't approach anyone yourself. Just "take stock", find your way around the website and do some good searches. See who is out there and then make a plan of action!

Change your profile regularly as this pushes your profile higher up on other people's searches.

When you do searches only put in filters which really matter to you otherwise you could miss someone who is perfect for you. For example, I filter out smokers, those with no photo, and those who haven't been online in the last week (as this generally removes all those who are no longer on the site).

I find the search facility a bit clunky. For example, if I choose my local area plus, say, 15 miles, I get all results from my area and MOST from the neighbouring town. However, if I choose the local town plus 0 miles I get ALL the people from that town. So it might be worth searching specifically on all local towns, rather than just your town plus a number of miles.

I think that is it!
Good luck x

fordcortina

Just a quick(ish) update. I've still not decided between Match and eHarmony (yes...I know!), but as I mentioned previously, I got brave and (on the flip of a coin!), went with smooch, putting a picture up on my profile, rather than PoF, as the free option. (By the way, when I did an internet search for plentyoffish, I got several other close variants, such as 'fishofplenty', 'plentymorefish' etc!!??)

Anyway, to be honest, I feel worse than when I started! I sent a couple of 'nice' emails, but had no reply... and despite thinking that I'm a reasonable looking guy, I've not had that many people look at my profile! Maybe I should stay off dating websites, as it could eventually drive you to drink or worse!

I also looked up the "meetup" website for my area and found that a local singles group had an introduction night this week, which I went to (newbies meet, then join up with the longer term members afterwards). There were quite a few nice people and I will probably join to take advantage of their social nights etc, but if I'm honest, I was the youngest one there... in my mid 40's! They told me that the main age groups they have are... in order of numbers... 50's, 40's, 60's and 'a few in their 30's'.

So yes, it offers some nights out/company with decent people, which is obviously good, but I'm not sure whether there's much chance of meeting a 'soulmate', so to speak.