what are the best value dating sites?

Maureen43

Ladyhawk wrote: »

Im on Guardian Soulmates... what a complete waste of money!

I have written specific emails to at leat 50 men and have not recieved any responses. I have "liked" at least another 50 more, again with no responses. Worst of all (thinking that maybe my profile wasnt very enticing) is that I have had very few men actually looking at my profile.

Anyone else having no luck with Guardian Soulmates? Is it just me?

Sorry, can't offer you much help but I am with Match and in the same boat as you I think.

I have only been on there a week but nobody has added me to their favourites. I've sent some emails and have had a few responses but nothing particularly positive.

I wondered whether I was being unrealistic to expect some interest so early on.

I did think I was moderately attractive...maybe not.

I think most of us on dating sites have lowish self esteem anyway due to past experiences, so lack of interest hits us hard!

VestanPance

The thing to beware of with paid dating sites is many don't highlight who are paid up members and who are not. That is something I thought was morally lax when working on them a few years back. From a business point it makes sense as it looks like there are more people active than there actually are.

Most allow people to sign up and create a profile free of charge, but block messaging, reading messages, or responding to messages unless they have paid. A good few profiles will be those of people who are past members that have quit but not deleted the profile, or those that have never paid up and just constantly browse.

Either that or there is something in your messaging style, or profile that scares folk off. Plus online dating does seem to be far worse for snap judgements than real world encounters. A list of won't date criteria seems to be quickly built up, which in my opinion wouldn't be so quickly used in the real world as these things are not written down in black and white from the off. Some of those things can be major relationship things you may expect would cause a divide, such as has kids/doesn't have kids/wants kids/doesn't want kids to the most banal of things like listing a movie or musician they don't like!

Ladyhawk

So this is my profile..... I don't come across too scarily do I?
I'm happiest putting the world to rights with good friends over a bottle or two of wine. Even better if wine is good and the location is warm and sunny.
I love thunderstorms - they remind me of an idyllic childhood. I'm an avid reader (thrillers, biographies), and adore cooking, really food in general (cakes being one of my specialities).
I spend my weekends pottering in my garden, playing badminton, driving with the top down on my car, snoozing and listening to indie rock. I am particularly partial to a bit of REM, pre-Popmart U2, Smashing Pumpkins and Violent Femmes.
I can't sit still for long... I need to be busy. I love trying new things even if it scares me... Except if it involves heights. After an unfortunate bungee jumping incident I am not too keen on being far from the earths crust.

Who I'm looking for (this is a standard section in Soulmates that you have to complete)
My ideal partner would have a combination of traits: compassion, ambition, commitment and self deprecation. And a very naughty sense of humour. Everything else is mere detail

Ladyhawk

Just noticed how many times "I" appear in my profile!!!

VestanPance

That looks like a decent enough profile to me. There's plenty of information to allow someone to ask a few questions on your interests.

I've heard Soulmates can be busy in the London area, but less used in other areas. Might be worth trying the free sites to see if maybe there is a greater user base, even if that means having to filter out the time wasters.

Ladyhawk

I'm in London though so it should be working for me thanks for the feed back

Am going to go back into Match when my Soulmates subscription runs out next month. I've also just joined a good Meet Up group so fingers crossed!

Mrs_Huggett

Hello you lot, well my friend is still single a year on, still using, in no particular order POF, Smooch, Freedating and OK Cupid, pretty awful results all round really, in that year we have seen only about five or six new men across the board, (she does have a very limited choice) what is she to do? We spoke about it today and we are going to have to rethink her options in the new year!!

Ladyhawk

Mrs Huggett please let us know when your friend comes up with a new strategy. I am inflict serious pain to the next Smug Married who says "Be patient, just get out there and you'll meet him". It's really not so simple. I play badminton every week (majority are men), I have tried all manner of groups and activities, I've asked friends to set me up. Argh! It's not even though I need a man in my life... It would just be a nice addition to it

Mrs_Huggett

Ladyhawk wrote: »

Mrs Huggett please let us know when your friend comes up with a new strategy. I am inflict serious pain to the next Smug Married who says "Be patient, just get out there and you'll meet him". It's really not so simple. I play badminton every week (majority are men), I have tried all manner of groups and activities, I've asked friends to set me up. Argh! It's not even though I need a man in my life... It would just be a nice addition to it

Haha that's exactly what she says!!! I always feel guilty as my DH is one in a million, and I do try not to trot out all the usual advice/sayings but as she id dyslexic and has no pc at home I do all her 'ahem' secreterial work for her, in a way it kind of keeps the wolf from the door I think, because we have two lots of female intuition at work lol!! And as I have said before my poor long suffering DH just lifts his head and peers at me askance over his reading glasses when I let out a very unladylike expletive every so often!!! She will be putting all her efforts into finding a new job, and she is moving house too in the first week or so of January so maybe we will put it all on the back burner and try agian with a couple of new sites.

Maureen43

Ladyhawk - I really like your profile! Do you perhaps live in a rural area where the field is smaller anyway?

Anyway, deep breath and here goes. Here is my profile:

I am looking for an honest, open and friendly man who shares my values.
I am a proud mum of two children who are growing up too fast!
I love walking in the countryside near my home, as well as running (some would call it jogging!) whenever I get the opportunity.
I like food, whether it be cooked at home by me or someone else. I also like going out to eat good food with good company at restaurants
On of my favourite things is a sunny day with the smell of cut grass in the air.
Travel is a big part of my life and there is still so much of the world I want to see.
Time spent with family and friends is important to me but I want to find that special someone to spend happy times with.
Be warned though...I am a terrible dancer!