What to do about this 'friend'

basscadette

I'm very direct with people I know well, and some I don't, and usually just say what I think. When it comes to 'acquaintances' that i don't know that well and don't wish to hang onto, then I phase them out. Because it is not my responsibility to give them a lecture on their flaws in character before dumping them anyway, nor will it make the slightest bit ofr difference apart from potentially prolonging the friendship - it's a case of, we're not having fun here, I'm going to stop meeting up with you.

If you don't like somone, have nothing in common and worse, they upset you maliciously, why on earth would you want to offer them ammo against you? Just get rid in the quickest, quietest way possible.

yummymummy222

I think you should either ignore her calls or explain to her that you think that you have nothing in common and both your interests are very different. Hopefully she will take the hint with you ignoring her calls. I went through this with a so called friend a few years ago when I was pregnant with my son, I still see the person occasionally but I don't make a special effort to keep in touch.

skintchick

You've only really got 3 choices.

1 - continue to put up with her

2 - tell her straight that you don't want to be friends any more because you find her negative

3 - just ignore all her contact till she stops

As 1 isn;t an option, you have to choose which of the others you want to go with. 3 is easiest, although cowardly, and 2 could turn nasty, but at least you could just tell her and then ignore her and she'd know why. If you really can;t face talking to her you could write her a letter but do be careful what you say as she may show it to others.

I had a friend once who I found very draining. I'd met her by chance on the train, she was very friendly but became clingy and I didn;t enjoy spending time with her after a while. Eventually I just stopped responding to her, telling her I was busy if she did manage to catch me on the phone, and after a while she stopped contacting me, although about 2 years later she called out of the blue, I said I'd call back, I did mean to but didn't have her new number as I genuinely forgot to save it, and I haven;t heard from her since.

It's tricky, but life's too short and busy to spend time with people who drain you.

basscadette

Why do people think it's cowardly to just drop her though? They're not exactly long term friends and hardly know each other. I cannot understand the cowardly aspect. If she was a friend of years and years I might see it that way but really, they are nothing more than acquantances and she owes her nought.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

One of my exes' sister.

Radio rental. Completely.


But no mental illness or learning disability, just unpleasant, boorish, judgemental and what I term an emotional vampire, sucking all the joy out of the room.


Avoid her - it's the only way, as she'll latch onto someone else

victory

basscadette wrote: »

Why do people think it's cowardly to just drop her though? They're not exactly long term friends and hardly know each other. I cannot understand the cowardly aspect. If she was a friend of years and years I might see it that way but really, they are nothing more than acquantances and she owes her nought.

I agree with that, years friendship deserves an answer and some sort of what do they call it closure but an acquaintance, not really no:D

make_me_wise

wannabehermit wrote: »

She's a bit odd, I can't really explain it you'd have to meet her to understand. She seems to criticise anything I do or buy. She tells me how horrible the things I buy are, questions all my decisions as though they are stupid and can be generally really very insensitive to the point that it's upsetting.

Like I say I don't dislike her so would rather let her down gently, but I don't want to be stringing this out any further tbh. Anyone been in a similar situation or have any advice for me?

Thanks for reading.

Going by your description of her above, what exactly is it about her that you do like? She sounds like a horrible, nasty individual. I wouldn't give someone like that the time of day tbh.

Stop worrying about how to spare her feelings is my advice and cut contact asap. Not that you should stoop to her level and be so nasty toward her as she sees fit to be toward you. However I think you are going to have to be blunt. She sounds like the type that could white wash your feelings and be a bit of a clinger. Good luck shaking her off.

Sambucus_Nigra

The way to deal with people like that is to not actually not respond to anything, just get on with other things and put her on the 'oh I must get back to her...when I've finished all the interesting things in life like doing the washing up, watching paint dry etc'. And then of course time will fly by and you will have forgotten all about her.

If she meets you in the street - you've been busy and have got alot on

If she meets you in the street and has a go at you, tell her you aren't interested in anyone who says things like 'I thought she was dead' about a new born, as it shows her in a bad light and you aren't interested.

chickywiggle

i normally phase people out - tho if they really annoy me I just ignore em!!
Occasionally (like last week when a so called friend starting mouthing off obviously about me on facebook) I just blew up at them and told them where to go!

Kay_Peel

You would do her a big favour by reacting to her insensitive, critical and downright rude remarks.

Just react in some small way - with words or a facial expression.

By that I mean when she says something like: 'Those jeans don't suit you, you look terrible in them, '
Reply: 'Ouch - that hurt!' or 'Did you mean to say that out loud?'

Let it be your parting 'gift' to a socially inept and toxic individual. She might think twice about saying what's in her head with the next person that she latches onto.