My son is scared of EVERYTHING!

Caroline_a

In my experience, speaking to solicitors on the phone is slightly harder than getting through to the Queen. I found that the time between 9 and 9.30 is one of the best time to get put through, and failing that make an appointment! You do need to stress that this is an emergency and if the solicitor can't see you or speak to you then you will have to find another one!

Good luck!!

cattie1

Caroline_a wrote: »

In my experience, speaking to solicitors on the phone is slightly harder than getting through to the Queen. I found that the time between 9 and 9.30 is one of the best time to get put through, and failing that make an appointment! You do need to stress that this is an emergency and if the solicitor can't see you or speak to you then you will have to find another one!

Good luck!!

I rang at 9am! :(

bunty109

cattie1 wrote: »

I rang at 9am! :(

Cattle, try earlier! If they are really busy they will probably be in earlier. I would also stress that you probably need an urgent court order and that if they are too busy they need to recommend someone who can help.

cattie1

bunty109 wrote: »

Cattle, try earlier! If they are really busy they will probably be in earlier. I would also stress that you probably need an urgent court order and that if they are too busy they need to recommend someone who can help.

I was trying from 8:30 even though they don't open until 9am! just wishful thinking!

blue_monkey_2

cattie, please keep them off school, do not go out, just keep on trying the solicitor. if there is no answer, call another and speak to them. Call the police if he is banging on the door and will not go away. As there is no order in place then he has no rights to be harassing you like this. He has no order, you have no order. Do NOT let him go to his dad's again. If he wants custody that badly then HE can apply for it with a residence order. The police cannot make you hand your son over, only a court can. If you have to keep him out of school for a few weeks then so be it.

No, you are not being as bad as him, you are going to get a court order to get your son's residence. I *think* that while it is going through the courts your ex can no longer just swan up and pick him up. Do you have anything from the solicitor to show you have applied for residence? I think this will do but you need to speak to him. if he is in court then yes, he will be hard to get hold of. Ask to speak to another solicitor and speak to them. They should have access to your notes. Tell them it is urgent else you will have to go somewhere else.

What was in the letter from the solicitor that your ex was sent?

And forms for DIY residence order: http://www.frg.org.uk/diy_chapter_1.html

I think that if there are no forms that have been filled on you need to visit your local court tomorrow and peak to them about this order ASAP - maybe think about bypassing the solicitor if you cannot get hold of him, or visit the office and speak to someone else. Tell them this is urgent. You should be allowed time off work for emergencies, I think it is 4 months - so if you need it, take it, your son's welfare is far more important than money.

Oh, and I am pretty sure that the 'new girlfriend' cannot pick them up, just those with PR so that would be you and him. not your bf, not his gf, so make the school aware of this to. the SHE is not allowed to pick them up as she does not have PR. Sod what the school think, their job is to protect the children. If the solicitor has advised them of you applying for Residence then show this to the school. If there is any chance of a father absconding with a child then they have a duty to protect the child.

Question also for a solicitor: Now you have applied for the order, can the other parent then decide never to bring the child home while waiting for it to go through the courts. I am sure that they would not be allowed to else people would be running off with their kids all the time once the other parent went through the court. Please check this out as a matter of urgency as this could stop the child being taken.

Good luck.

digitalphase

I don't have anything helpful to add, but read the thread, and just wanted to wish you well and hope you can get something sorted soon and DS1's worry dolls/dream catcher are helping him xx

Savvy_Sue

Can I just check that when the solicitor is in court, it is the family court, not criminal or general magistrates? You need a good FAMILY solicitor, not someone doing a bit of everything.

DON79

I am so pleased you have both your boys home - to be honest, I would not let them out of your sight! I know you are not supposed to keep them off school but if it is a case of protecting them, I would do it - no questions asked. Best wishes with everything and I hope you get it officially sorted as their dad sounds like a nasty bully xx

cattie1

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Can I just check that when the solicitor is in court, it is the family court, not criminal or general magistrates? You need a good FAMILY solicitor, not someone doing a bit of everything.

Thank-you all, he is based in family law but thank-you.

He sent his fee, £275 per hour!!! :eek: (not that he's done much so far!)

I didn't keep him off school, I went in and collected them both early, I then had a phonecall from ex telling me I had to take them to his on Wed (His usual night) seen as he wasn't allowed to pick them up.

I don't want to stop him from seeing the children in case that goes against me, so I said I'd drop them off-but didn't say when, I work full time then go to college on my day off as I am studying for an accountancy diploma, I don't finish college on a Wed until 6pm and they usually go to After school club until 6pm, ex is aware of this and has picked them up from there in the past.

So at 4pm he txt me to ask where I was (it was more f'ing and blinding) so I text back to say I will be there at half 5, I then got numerous txts telling me what he thought of me and "not to bother"
I took children to his house for 5:30 pm on the dot, the children got out of the car, and tried the door-it was locked, so they phoned to ask where he was, he said he was at his Mam's so wouldn't be having them!

The kids actually wanted to see him and were quite upset, I couldn't believe that for someone who says he wants his kids to live with him, couldn't be bothered to have them because they weren't dropped off at a time he had decided!

I still haven't managed to get in contact with solicitor and am seriously considering doing the myself but DP wants sol, even though he hasn't done anything! If I am paying someone £275 an hour I want to be really impressed, no have someone who doesn't bother ringing back, but has time to send me a list of his fee's!!

blue_monkey_2

Cattie, I think it is time to find someone else. That is VERY expensive and to me it seems he has set his fee so that you get put off and go and find someone else. Please do!! However, ther eis nothing wrong with you starting the court action yourself, today. Go to the court as I said and speak to someone, they might even be able to advise a good family lawyer who visits that court often.

Do not make any more arrangements like in your post. He is playing you like a fiddle so let him get on with it. Contact will be set at the first court hearing anyway, you at least need to get things moving with the order before you let them go again. Please do this, it'll not be long and tell the boys it is to help all of you so their dad cannot keep on this doing this to them. Remember, CAFCASS will ask the children about what is going on eventually.

Get the order started (I think you can download the forms online) and a solicitor can take over later on. There is nothing further to day for now though, your ex refused to bring the children home, he says he will be there when he is not, there needs to be an order in place to protect the children and stop this happening again in the future. You may be surprised, he may not even fight it and it'll just a case of him signing and returning the forms, he may not even turn up to the hearing and that will be it. Over and done with. Then you can make your own arrangements, if he does not bring them home as arranged (private arrangement) you can then call the police. Don't be scared, you can do this. Get things moving with the courts on your won. Google 'applying for residence order' there is lots of advice out there.

Your ex is trying to control you, through the children, by not being there yesterday he is still showing that he has the ultimate control as you went when he said not to. Sorry, it stops now. It has to, for the kids sake and for your sake. If he wants custody THAT badly he would be seeing his own solicitor now following your letter. He hasn't - which speak volumes. Do not let your children get caught up in this game. Do not give him the opportunity to do this again.

Sit down with the yellow pages, call some solicitors and speak to them or their secretaries ask them if they specialise in Family Law and how much they charge an hour. Do this today if you can. And then google them to ensure they do not have a bad repuation.

We are here to help you. x