If you wanna be somebody

hadahardyear

thanks miggy, Id need a whole lot more than that for my lunch, you don't eat a lot?

IM taking that just for my breakfast, and have decided on chilli and a baked potato for lunch.

My weightwatchers app is brilliant too, its really helping.
Im off to bed just now, and going to try and stay off the iplayer. lol
nighty night x

miggy

Might depend on the size of the banana sandwich and the yogurt!

I'm only basing it on dim memories of what I thought I might have eaten when I was successfully losing weight, in reality there would be coffee and something chocolatey as well.

Breakfast for me is almost always marmite on wholemeal toast and at least two hot drinks. Lunch is cheese on toast or tuna sandwich or something like that followed by cake or choc and fruit... and coffee. I do have a snack at about 4 to sustain me through till dinner which is more like 6.30 and is a 'proper' meal, then I have supper - usually hot choc and maybe toast or something before bed.

I don't think I eat a lot but I do snack rather often! I'm also under 5'2" and gain weight fairly easily. That's nothing to do with the chocolate of course.

Sleep tight. x

hadahardyear

HI there everyone,
just thought id update with my progress.

I had £123.90 budget per week and still have £59.14 left of this for the week.
I will have to buy £10 gas tomorrow, and £3.05 for the boy's bus fare but all in all, i think thats about it.

I put £20 petrol in the car tonight and spent £17.45 at Aldi's yesterday.

Today had chilli from the freezer i had forgotten about, with a baked potato,
yoghurt and cereal for breakfast and haven't had dinner yet,

Weighed myself this morning, and another pound off so will update my signature.

Its been a long week and i think i have a touch of the blues.
Although i feel organised with money and the weight, a lot of things personally have fallen apart recently.

My mum is feeling very down this week, after she didn't get her usual phone call after the bells from my brother, so im trying to perseuade my parents to maybe come on a cheap summer holiday with my son and I.

I feel a bit lost, like im a greyed out version of myself.
I havent heard from my 'friend' and am actually considering deleting her and her boyfriend from my Facebook account, which means it's serious for me lol.

A guy i Have liked for some years and have been doing a bit of snogging with, has suddenly started updating his Facebook with pictures of him and an older woman he is kissing at New Years so I can mark that off the cards.
Pretty gutted about that one to be honest.

Nevertheless, I have been single more or less for the past 6 years since my marriage broke up when i was 23.
I don't have a lot of self confidence although i do put up a good front, (i'm a singer/dj) so have to act like I am happy in myself and the fact im loud makes up for that.

I think once i lose the weight i want to lose, it might help go some way to regaining who i want to be, however i have polycystic ovaries and an underactive thyroid (i never take my tablets for this, though I know i should).

I'm never going to be the way i was though, not with out my brother, :(


Hope everyones ok tonight and you're not bored so far. xx

kerri_dfw

Hi Hadahardyear (Michelle) just come across from seeing you on my diary and thought I'd offer some pearls as I had a rough friendship year last year and my social world literally came crashing down so I can sympathise with your friend.
I had a "best friend" who I moved to London because of and had built a "friendship circle" up from her friends in London too. Outside of this I had a bf that I met through her and had been with since October 2010 and a few friends from uni that I only see for drinks every 1/4 year ish. We had a massive fall out because she'd spent our friendship complaining to me constantly and I turned round to one of our mutual friends and apologised for being pretty evil to her because my "best friend" had said she was trying to nick my "best friends" bf. My "best friend" flew off the handle, I told her she was destroying our friendship, but she carried on being as horrid and rotten as possible. She turned people against me and I basically saw who my real friends were at that point. From that big friendship group I only speak to 2 maybe 3 people, and there was over 30 of them. Of these only 1 bothers to speak to me/meet up off his own accord, and one other I've made really good friends with his missus and formed a nice small friendship circle with her a few others. It was really hard for my OH, but he's seen me grow and become soo much happier from not having her in my ear.

Long story short, it's possible to have your social circle crumble before you and rebuild. Sometimes it's even healthy as it gets rid of the bad eggs. So if she's not speaking to you then that's her problem as you've apologised for something that wasn't your fault. I'd never let a friend and their son walk home in the dark on NYE that's outrageous.

Really well done on the weight loss, my really good mate I spoke about I've been encouraging him to lose weight for months now. He's gone from eating out in restaurants 5days a week + spending £75 a week on lunch, to making his own packed dindins to microwave and really enjoying cooking healthily. He was about 22stone and now he's about 18stone in about 6 months. He's found the weight loss has slowed now, so has taken to counting how many inches he's losing from his stomach, thighs, hips etc. I nudge him each week for an update

I'm really impressed with how you've done on the spending for the first month, you must be really chuffed with yourself for still having £50 left. I was really pleased the first time I had any money leftover.

Subscribing and don't worry about spilling your feelings, this is your diary and look at it as therapy. We're here as shoulders and we'll help carry you when you feel like your feel are dragging beneath you *hugs*
Kerri x

Hiddenidenity

Hope your feeling a bit happier today and all is well xx

hadahardyear

hello for today everyone.
feeling ab it more upbeat today, hate my job but love some of the people i work with so makes it a bit more unbearable.

Have spent a grand total of 10p today on a coffee at work and some milk (55p) on the way home, so 65p, not quite a NSD but almost.

Still need to get out of the habit of weighing myself every morning, but half a pound this morning off. Not going to count it until monday though.

Making savoury rice and peppers for my dinner just now, had a bit of chcocolate while waiting for it to cook, (bad me!!!)

Ach im not bothered.
Watching a bit of Sex and the City just now where Carrie is looking after Big for his Op. AWwwww

Still havent heard from my 'friend'. Watching her bandy it about Facebook her supposedly happy relationship is leaving a bad taste in my mouth so I havent even posted anything on there for a while, which is a shame, as i do like Facebook, have a lot of friends on here and a good bit of banter at night when the boy is in bed.
BUt at the moment, Im too upset to post, so hence my presence on this board haha.

On a debt busting note, I paid off my Capital One ~Progress card last night (169.93) so thats completely clear and going to use that for petrol weekly and pay off in full every week.

Also paid an extra £40 to my dad and £40 to my Capital one Classic.

Have left the Aqua card, a bit of the cap one and the vanquis, but im thinking about just paying off the capital one tonight as well.

Im a bit gutted as i have been paying off my divorce through standing order to Legal Aid for a while now, it was over £1000 and i thought it was only £104 left now but i phoned them and they said it was still £154 left.

Thats not the figures I have, so annoyed as i thought i would just pay that off tonight as well (pay £16.45 per month) but as im not paying interest on it, might be better doing the Capital One
Hope you guys are good, x:j:j:j

miggy

hadahardyear wrote: »

I think once i lose the weight i want to lose, it might help go some way to regaining who i want to be, however i have polycystic ovaries and an underactive thyroid (i never take my tablets for this, though I know i should).

It doesn't sound like a miserable time - a little holiday for you and your mum might be good thing to plan to give yourselves something to look forward to.

Sorry you are having a bad time with the people from New Year and this chap you've been seeing. Maybe chat to some different people on FB or something?

And do take the tablets! I'm on them too - they make a huge difference for me even though my thyroxine levels aren't too bad. Before I started them I was eating less and less and still gaining weight and had lots of other symptoms. The best thing for me was getting some energy! And if you haven't had your blood tested recently, it night be with doing just to see if your dose is right. I know it's a medication we can cope without for a while once there's some in the bloodstream but it's worth finding a way to take them regularly adn after a while your body will thank you. I can still remember looking in the mirror and finding I'd lost the bags under my eyes, LOL!

ETA - very sorry - I don't think I meant to put it didn't sound like a miserable time -just the opposite, a real grey day. That will teach me to proof read. Sorry.

miggy

Just read your today's post (got distracted from the above post and while I hadn't finished it you posted)... good that you're a bit happier.

I'm wondering why you are holding onto this girl? You don't have to tell us, just think about it? At the moment it hurts you to see her posting, but you haven't blocked her. Are things going to get better? Or is there another reason?

Anyway, I'm glad you'll be chatting to other people later, think of me at work on my ownsome, LOL!

hadahardyear

miggy wrote: »

Just read your today's post (got distracted from the above post and while I hadn't finished it you posted)... good that you're a bit happier.

I'm wondering why you are holding onto this girl? You don't have to tell us, just think about it? At the moment it hurts you to see her posting, but you haven't blocked her. Are things going to get better? Or is there another reason?

Anyway, I'm glad you'll be chatting to other people later, think of me at work on my ownsome, LOL!

hiya pal was just about to get back when you posted again.
what time are you working till, that sucks lol.

I think i am holding on for a few reasons, first i don;t really have a lot of friends, as i work all the time. I have loads of fairweather friends but not ones i hang out with, mind you, what happened makes me question whether we ever will hang out again anyway.

The other thing is when we got back in touch as well, there's another girl who has been friends with this girl all these years and i don't really want to lose her but I know if i stop talking to the first one, the other one is too loyal and will also stop talking to me, therefore i lose my entire circle.

When im thinking about it though, I have had too much to deal with this year without this on top, and am so disappointed.

I haven't heard from them, so it seems they matter to me much more than i do to them

kerri_dfw

*big hugs* glad you're feeling a bit happier, and a bit of choc isn't bad honest (she says munching a strip of galaxy om nom nom). If you'd like a giggle I just had a mahoosive freak out as looked to my right and saw a 2 inch bug staring back at me, took a few minutes to realise it wasn't a) a tarantula, b) a cockroach but in actual fact c) one of my housemates crickets!!! Then freaked out more, before grabbing in placky bag and shoving bag and cricket through dog flap in kitchen haha!

If divorce is 0% that should really be the last thing you overpay on as it's not costing you whereas some of the others might be Have you snowballed to see the best method for paying off?

I always forget to take my thyroid meds, I now take them with a glass of water just as I head out the door in the morning, works a treat as I can't grab my bag without looking at the glass of water. Might this be something you could try?