If you wanna be somebody

hadahardyear

hahaha i cant.
at this rate im going to have lost 17 stone by the end of January h:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Hiddenidenity

hadahardyear wrote: »

hahaha i cant.
at this rate im going to have lost 17 stone by the end of January h:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Lol dont become too obsessed its not good x

Trust me lol :rotfl:

hadahardyear

ive joined the weightwatchers forum again as well so hopefully, but yeah im not going too much by the daily weight. Am only tracking the weekly one so its not until monday x

Have a day off work today, how about you. What are you up to.
JUst having a little dvd day with my son then will need to go to Asda for some New Years goodies x

Choc-addict

hadahardyear wrote: »

ive joined the weightwatchers forum again as well so hopefully, but yeah im not going too much by the daily weight. Am only tracking the weekly one so its not until monday x

Have a day off work today, how about you. What are you up to.
JUst having a little dvd day with my son then will need to go to Asda for some New Years goodies x

Oooh....make sure you get yourselves some lovely treats! I can't stop eating, I think the signal from my brain to my stomach has gone missing....in fact i'm not sure it has ever really worked :rotfl:x

Peabody_2

I'm sorry to hear about your brother, it will get easier eventually I promise.

I did slimming world a few years ago, started at 16st 7.... and I'm now 18st 4 (shudders) I did get down to 12st in between that though. I think weight loss it like debt busting small goals and little by little and suddenly it will all be gone.

Hope you had a lovely day off work

hadahardyear

thanks for all your replies.
I am trying so hard to care about stuff but truth is ...I don't.

I want to clear my credit cards, I want to be thinner, I want to meet someone and be happy but then i think, what's the point as my brothers not here.
We were so close, he just dropped dead
I dont understand how that can happen to someone, how they can be here then gone.
I don't feel like i will ever get over this.

Anyway i won't drone on and on because that's not what this diary is about, and im sure you guys will run out of sympathy eventually haha. Im not groping around for "im sorries' trust me.

JUst thought it would help you understand my frame of mind.

Im going to weigh myself again tomorrow. i can't help it lol. I know its not accurate and im really only going to go by Mondays weigh in but curiousity is getting the better of me.

Tomorrow is pay day and i will have £786 left after i have paid all my bills, so i am going to stick that in my savings account and pay off the smaller ccs through january x

Peabody_2

I promise I won't run out of sympathy.

But...

Sounds like you have some good plans in the system, try not to keep weighing yourself. I know this is hard, I have been know to weight myself after a wee to see if it made much difference.... shameful but true lol

You sound a lot like me, obsessive!

Choc-addict

Just be kind to yourself and take small steps - you will get there. I can't begin to imagine how you are feeling with losing your brother, my sister has moved to Australia and that's enough to upset me so I can't begin to imagine your grief. Have you had any counselling? Like Peabody said, sympathy will not run out here!

Off to France for few days for NY but will be back on it as of Monday! Hope you and your son have a lovely NY together, take care xx

Hiddenidenity

hadahardyear wrote: »

thanks for all your replies.
I am trying so hard to care about stuff but truth is ...I don't.

I want to clear my credit cards, I want to be thinner, I want to meet someone and be happy but then i think, what's the point as my brothers not here.
We were so close, he just dropped dead
I dont understand how that can happen to someone, how they can be here then gone.
I don't feel like i will ever get over this.

Anyway i won't drone on and on because that's not what this diary is about, and im sure you guys will run out of sympathy eventually haha. Im not groping around for "im sorries' trust me.

The point is would your brother want you to be like this and unhappy? Would you want your brother to feel like you do if it was the other way round?

I dont think you will ever answer the why and how etc and you won't "get over it" But it WILL get easier.

* I havent lost a sibling but I lost my son at a few weeks old so from the grief side of things I sort f understand*

No one will get sick of you talking about it, talking about it will help. Have you had counselling or anything? x

:grouphug:

hadahardyear

happy new year to everyone. hope this year is better for you guys than the last one if its been rubbish.

mine has been awful so far, was at a party and went from good to bad.

dont want to get out of bed