If you wanna be somebody

hadahardyear

hiya pals, how is everyone tonight.

Im struggling with the weight this week, seem to have lost my mojo

Any lunch ideas or dinner ideas from anyone? im struggling with new things.
Have decided im going to make scotch broth but i dont get this, having to soak the mixture overnight,
How do you know when its ready, im confused.
Any ideas how to make it after you actually soak it haha

On the debt front, I have paid £189 off Aqua today,
and another £20 off Vanquis.
I really should watch what im doing, because im getting quite obsessed with paying it off but dont want to slip into my overdraft because ive paid every penny off the credit cards.

That would negate that and cause the Halifax charges.

I want to pay off everything except my dad and Vanquis by the end of this month, and then will concentrate on those two after, but after i have paid off the initial ones, it will save me around £175 in direct debits coming out next week

miggy

I haven't a clue on the Scotch Both, I'm sorry. Ideas for lunches: at the moment I'm thinking cream cheese and smoked salmon but that's neither MS not weightloss inducing! When I was dieting seriously though I used to have low fat cream cheese and a small bit of value smoked salmon followed by an orange, which is actually really useful in terms of the right things to sustain me for a few hours - and because it was a treat I savoured every bite! Glad you reminded me of that, I might just push the boat out and do that again to help keep the calories down (Asd@ do cheap smoked salmon and I got some whoopsied packets for 50p each recently: the last is still in the freezer).
Homemade soup especially something vegetarian is always good.
Sorry too sleepy to think of more.
You're making some impressive repayments! Definitely got the MS bug. Just keep on the right side of the Halifax and all will be well.

kerri_dfw

I was making wraps to take to work when my OH was living with me. Fill them with plenty of salad, cheese, homemade dips. I'm taking homemade curry with quinoa into work tomorrow, which is really healthy as it's veggie and no fat used at all. Bananas make awesome snacks, sugar, slow release, potassium bananas. Be careful with low fat stuff though and read the label, it often has high salt content. Diet coke actually makes you more hungry as it doesn't have the sugar to quench the hunger but has all the chemicals to make you hungry grr, so it's actually better to have normal coke, weird huh?

Awesome re: vanquis

Hiddenidenity

hadahardyear wrote: »

hiya pals, how is everyone tonight.

Im struggling with the weight this week, seem to have lost my mojo

Any lunch ideas or dinner ideas from anyone? im struggling with new things.
Have decided im going to make scotch broth but i dont get this, having to soak the mixture overnight,
How do you know when its ready, im confused.
Any ideas how to make it after you actually soak it haha

On the debt front, I have paid £189 off Aqua today,
and another £20 off Vanquis.
I really should watch what im doing, because im getting quite obsessed with paying it off but dont want to slip into my overdraft because ive paid every penny off the credit cards.

That would negate that and cause the Halifax charges.

I want to pay off everything except my dad and Vanquis by the end of this month, and then will concentrate on those two after, but after i have paid off the initial ones, it will save me around £175 in direct debits coming out next week

Sorry cant help on the diet front, I agree paying things of becomes soo adictive then you leave yourself short Well done on paying so much off already :beer:

hadahardyear

hi everyone, not been feeling it this week but just a quick update while im catching up with last nights Corrie online.

I am absolutely hating spending ANY money at all that isnt necessary. I mean not even a penny. I did buy a chippy for mjy dinner tonight though, which was £4.50 and i begrudged even that lol

What to do this weekend, Think ill take my son to the big car boot sale near us
how about you guys, what's everyone up to x

Peabody_2

Sorry to heard you've had a bad week hoping that you feel a bit happier today.

Car boot sounds like a great idea, I can wander around them for hours, I don't think any have started down here just yet. As for me I'm not up to much this weekend, trying to find things to Ebay mostly.

Hope you have fun

Hiddenidenity

Hello hope all is well

Carboot sounds good ours havent started yet down here. Not doing much today, considering changing bedrooms round but Im not sure Im brave enough yet haha! x

hadahardyear

Hi there, sorry i have taken so long to update, not been doing so good lately. I am so upset about everything, and nothing.

Just been told in work im moving teams, ie away from all my friends, (which i realise this makes me sound like a 4 year old throwing a strop) but being close to my friends in work is the only thing that makes my job worthwhile.)

I burst into tears which is totally stupid but theyre putting me in a team where i don't know a single person and I told one of the managers that I used to be a really confident person but since my brother went, I dont have the energy or will to start trying to make conversation with strangers

Im just not the same person i was. I find it hard making eye contact,
I feel like a dulled down version of myself since my brother died. I cry at everything, even trivial things.

He was the one who looked after me, protected me, Your big brother's always there for you isn't he?
He was loud, sarcastic, hilarious and always always watched out for me.

His wife used to introduce me as the female version of my brother but I dont feel I can be the way i was anymore.

Without being melodramatic, I feel desperate and heartbroken.
I am trying to so hard to give a !!!! about things, about saving money and losing weight, but at the end of the day, I literally don't care.
I don't know what i'm doing it for.
I just want him back.

Of course I realise other people have lost people too, but in my haze of grief, I feel selfish.
I find it hard to care, every night is crying myself to sleep and i cry a lot when im driving.
Its been 8 months now. I don't know how to deal with it.

Anyway sorry i digress, this has nothing to do with MSE

Peabody_2

Sweetheart....

It's doesn't matter what you post here, this is your thread.

I've been lucky and not lost anyone that close to me, but I'm wrapping my arms around you and giving you a massive hug.

Everything you write reminds me of the depression I went through about 3-4 years ago. Life just doesn't seem to mean anything any more. But one day it will get better. I PROMISE you.

I know it's hard, but have you thought about chatting to your Dr? It's scary and I cried at mine solidly for 10 mins , he didn't throw medication at me and let me deal with it in my own way. He helped me get some therpy, and also got me onto a free NHS course which helped me to manage my mood etc and find the things that would set me off.

But write it all down, let us listen, let us try to help as best we can. You can always pm me if you need to, I will be there if you need someone to listen you.

Keeping it bottle up will not help.

I know words don't help, but you are not alone.

xx

hadahardyear

thanks for your reply. I realise it makes people uncomfortable, me talking like this.
im ok if i don't think about him, but then i realise i don't want to NOT think about him. I miss him.

Re counselling, its not for me, I know its what i should be doing, but i dont have the time or the inclination to do it.
Its not easy to get time off work ,
i write journals a lot, always have done, and find they keep me on track if i dont read back the ones i wrote just after he died. I find myself writing him private emails to his Facebook which is stupid.
really stupid.
I can't get my head around it, how does someone just go like that, one minute they're here, then they're not.m

My dad said part of the bible, says that this is Hell we are in and waiting to go somewhere better.
Some told me he has been promoted to glory.

I often wonder, maybe we will get to Heaven and wonder what all the fuss was about, will we see each other again? Thing is, that no one is ever going to know until we get there.

My dad isnt into psychics and mediums etc but he said he had a dream about him, and when he woke up he saw my brother standing at the bottom of the bed. He asked him if he was ok, then he disappeared

To me, that's the oddest thing ive ever heard, mainly because, coming from my dad, who doesnt believe in that stuff, hit me hard.
x