My situation .. What can I do?

crazy_gooner

Deleted_User wrote: »

I feel sorry for this poor little boy! He didn't ask to be born and how people can turn their back on their own flesh and blood is beyond me! How would you feel if your Father didnt want anything to do with you? Do you realise how damaging it is to children to know they wasnt wanted! Having said that you are already having another child with someone you haven't even been with a Year! You don't strike me as a very responsible person and probably soon will have 2 CSA cases!

Sorry know it sounds harsh but you need a reality check, that child needs practical support not just financial! Bite the bullet get your own DNA test so this isn't hanging over you and proceed from there.

whilst i understand what your saying, i disagree. my father was a bit part figure in my life, in and out and to be honest id rather he never bothered than be in and out.

its not like i ever wanted this. the mother should have thought about this and.bot lied. if we were together, no lies and just broke up id be there, but it is not the case, so the mothe has herself to blame.

As for my current partner, I've known her for years as family friends, so thanks for your opinion. if we ever separated, id be here because i know what im into, no lieibg etc.

gratefulforhelp_2

crazy_gooner wrote: »

A general question. in some countries you can sign away your parental rights, can you do that in Britain? ive always wondered ti be honest!

You can...if the PWC finds a new partner who is prepared to adopt the child.

Fiver29

Deleted_User wrote: »

I feel sorry for this poor little boy! He didn't ask to be born and how people can turn their back on their own flesh and blood is beyond me! How would you feel if your Father didnt want anything to do with you? Do you realise how damaging it is to children to know they wasnt wanted! Having said that you are already having another child with someone you haven't even been with a Year! You don't strike me as a very responsible person and probably soon will have 2 CSA cases!

Sorry know it sounds harsh but you need a reality check, that child needs practical support not just financial! Bite the bullet get your own DNA test so this isn't hanging over you and proceed from there.

Well said. My heart sank when I just read the post about ditching parental responsibilities, I really don't know how anyone could want nothing to do with one child, yet profess to want another, just because of the woman who gave birth to it . So very, very sad.

DUTR

Fiver29 wrote: »

Well said. My heart sank when I just read the post about ditching parental responsibilities, I really don't know how anyone could want nothing to do with one child, yet profess to want another, just because of the woman who gave birth to it . So very, very sad.

People could explain, but it would seem you would not consider their viewpoint, so they would be wasting their time

Fiver29

DUTR wrote: »

People could explain, but it would seem you would not consider their viewpoint, so they would be wasting their time

Where did I say that? I consider all view points, it doesn't mean I have to agree with them.

DUTR

Fiver29 wrote: »

Where did I say that? I consider all view points, it doesn't mean I have to agree with them.

Well we can agree to differ, your post #74 appears clear where your views on the topic lay, as an NRP and none visiting 'parent' , I can see the side where you could not, children are important yes, but they are not the pinnacle of everybody's life , even if they are flesh and blood, the OP's 1st child was not born out of love between 2 people, I agree it was not the child's fault either, but he is in a new set up now, and from viewing other threads, he maybe better off with the way things are. He has stated if he has to contribute then he will, but the law does not state that he has to have contact or that he is banned from finding love elsewhere, his current partner and his forthcoming child are his family and it is they who will be his priority .

Fiver29

DUTR wrote: »

Well we can agree to differ, your post #74 appears clear where your views on the topic lay, as an NRP and none visiting 'parent' , I can see the side where you could not, children are important yes, but they are not the pinnacle of everybody's life , even if they are flesh and blood, the OP's 1st child was not born out of love between 2 people, I agree it was not the child's fault either, but he is in a new set up now, and from viewing other threads, he maybe better off with the way things are. He has stated if he has to contribute then he will, but the law does not state that he has to have contact or that he is banned from finding love elsewhere, his current partner and his forthcoming child are his family and it is they who will be his priority .

Of course my view lay where they do, just as yours do, but how does that equate to not considering other viewpoints? I can see a side you cannot, does that mean that you are not considering other viewpoints? No it doesn't!!

DUTR

Fiver29 wrote: »

Of course my view lay where they do, just as yours do, but how does that equate to not considering other viewpoints? I can see a side you cannot, does that mean that you are not considering other viewpoints? No it doesn't!!

In post #74 you wrote " I really don't know how anyone could want nothing to do with one child," which I can see what you are saying, and agree if the child(ren) are the pinnacle of that person's life, however not everybody feels that way and that is the other side of the coin. Where have I missed your viewpoint?

System

I spend a bit of time on a genealogy site where there is a constant stream of people looking for absent parents... but also looking for their half siblings from previous relationships their parent/s had.

Don't forget this is not just about financial responsibility for the child, but also that the child you are having will have a half sibling that one day they might want to know...one day the child you are now expecting may look you in the face and ask WHY you didn't care for the child who was born through no 'fault' of his own. You want to be able to say "I did everything I could reasonably do "...don't you?

DUTR

Purbeck wrote: »

I spend a bit of time on a genealogy site where there is a constant stream of people looking for absent parents... but also looking for their half siblings from previous relationships their parent/s had.

Don't forget this is not just about financial responsibility for the child, but also that the child you are having will have a half sibling that one day they might want to know...one day the child you are now expecting may look you in the face and ask WHY you didn't care for the child who was born through no 'fault' of his own. You want to be able to say "I did everything I could reasonably do "...don't you?

Disagree, that is one line of thought, he could turn around and say that the child came about from an error in a time of his life, and some errors in life are to be avoided as best as possible, he cannot change the past but can do better at present and for the future. The Op does not have to prevent the siblings knowing one another and could encourage a sibling relationship, does not mean he himself would have to create a relationship if that is what he so wished, but as mentioned earlier, since it is early days, he may lead to have a meaningful relationship with all of his children.