My situation .. What can I do?

crazy_gooner

haha i knew.someone would say that, i trust my partner because she's a good person and religious (im not). Trust is everything. Also distance with a lot of tarot readers means when your not near. I did ask this.

Anyway, things like that don't even come into my mind .

DUTR

crazy_gooner wrote: »

haha i knew.someone would say that, i trust my partner because she's a good person and religious (im not). Trust is everything. Also distance with a lot of tarot readers means when your not near. I did ask this.

Anyway, things like that don't even come into my mind .

Samson trusted Delilah

crazy_gooner

DUTR wrote: »

Samson trusted Delilah

Haha! In all seriousness, I'm excited for february, just wish this wasn't hanging over me.

DUTR

crazy_gooner wrote: »

Haha! In all seriousness, I'm excited for february, just wish this wasn't hanging over me.

There are lots of things we wish for and life does not always run to a Mills and Boons. There is nothing hanging over you at present, and your mind is doing overtime at the moment, Everybody deserves a 2nd chance.

crazy_gooner

DUTR wrote: »

There are lots of things we wish for and life does not always run to a Mills and Boons. There is nothing hanging over you at present, and your mind is doing overtime at the moment, Everybody deserves a 2nd chance.

Thanks Duty. you've been a great hep mat, also thanks everyone else! I'LL be keeping this thread updated.

crazy_gooner

I meant Dutr*. Damn predictive text!

kevin137

crazy_gooner wrote: »

They paid for another DNA test but wont even pay half towards mine. I've made some effort. I can see her pulling out that's why, I can't afford to throw money away.

If I called the CSA and told them my details incase a girl gets in touch with them regarding me, would this protect me from arrears in anyway?

I am surprised no one commented on this....!

They paid for a test for someone else...??? Is there only one child and was it proven or not proven to be the other guys, did they give this information or did you ask...???

I would not want to prejudge the girl, but it seems that the highest earner is the unlucky one in the mess, and that she has NO morals at all... Just wants a meal ticket...!!!

If it is yours though, make sure that everything is out in the open, and stay in the child's life, the result is far more rewarding than just paying/contributing, you may also find that your current partner enjoys having her around and in the future that she may be a bigger part of your family than you see now... IE living with you which would in fact mean she pays you maintenance...

Just think things and talk things through with your current partner...

kevin137

crazy_gooner wrote: »

I know this isn't the child's fault, but the mother knew how I felt, I didn't find out she was pregnant until 2 and a half months must I add, from seeing her facebook picture myself and me having to have to question the girl I slept with's mother.

She then said I wasn't the dad and she wants nothing from me, I complied and said I want nothing to do since day 1, since I was seriously lied too in many ways and it was a mistake. Then saying they wont contribute towards a DNA test because they already did one. Now which isn't fair because she is known to have a rep.

Where these comments made on FB, or verbally or by sms...???

By going to the CSA knowing you are NOT the father, could amount to a criminal act of "FRAUD" or "Obtaining Monies by Deception"

If is was on the web/fb and is still there or in your message box, then please take a screen dump so you have the proof...! This could be something that would benefit you in the long run, as she has clearly stated that you are not the father already.

This being the case, it may well be worth contacting her to say, that having this proof, if she did ever make a claim against you knowing what has been said before, that you would peruse criminal charges against her if indeed she did proceed to the CSA and it is proved that you are not the Father.... But anything you do, do in writing, either mail, email, text or Facebook, then there is a paper trail so to speak.

I am all for paying and being involved should it turn out you ARE the parent, but girls who play this nasty game at the expense of the male who as you are in another relationship get away with this far too often...!

DUTR

kevin137 wrote: »

I am surprised no one commented on this....!

They paid for a test for someone else...??? Is there only one child and was it proven or not proven to be the other guys, did they give this information or did you ask...???

I would not want to prejudge the girl, but it seems that the highest earner is the unlucky one in the mess, and that she has NO morals at all... Just wants a meal ticket...!!!

If it is yours though, make sure that everything is out in the open, and stay in the child's life, the result is far more rewarding than just paying/contributing, you may also find that your current partner enjoys having her around and in the future that she may be a bigger part of your family than you see now... IE living with you which would in fact mean she pays you maintenance...

Just think things and talk things through with your current partner...

I'm not sure I fully agree, perhaps she was in between guys in her quest to find Mr Right, sometimes you can only but take pity on women that find themself in her situation, her career opportunities are limited , relationship opportunities are limited even social circles may have to change, if she is young and her friends are out on the town enjoying what young people do, whislt she has to saty at home being Mum, it's not as if she won't finally meet somebody new, but woman with child does have disadvantages too.

kevin137

I agree, it is clear in my eye, from what has been said that the girl maybe has a reputation, this may well be wrong, and i know when you meet the right person things can and do change, but given what has been said on hear, it would appear that is not the case and that there is a lot of doubt as to whose the child is purely by the factor that another DNA test was paid for by the girls parents...

I as a parent would be so disappointed if my daughter got into that situation, but i would expect her to be honest ad open with me about who the father was and i would expect him to pay along with accepting his responsibility...

I have a 17 year old and a 12 year old daughter, and have already had conversations with my son about his responsibilities...! He knows that it is his choice to be careful or not, and that it has far reaching consequences should he make the wrong choices...!

Being open with his current partner may well have it's down side, but also, you have to think that honesty is an integral part of a relationship that should only strengthen it... If as this young man says, they really where apart at the time of this unfortunate/fortunate conception, depending on how you look at it.