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My situation .. What can I do?

crazy_gooner
Posts: 93 Forumite
Hey guys, I will try to keep this brief as possible.
I'm a 23 year old male, working full time, with the love of my life and expecting a child in february and hopefully getting married.
The problem I have is that last november I knew a girl a little (19 yr old) slept with her (she is a psycho) two times with no condom (stupid I know) we got on well at the time and felt I could trust her. She said she was on the pill (then found out she was lying from her mother) and was told she couldn't have children, now guess what she has had a child and apparently it's mine and is now getting hold of the CSA.
Before people slate me, I want to elaborate, I want nothing to do with her, or her child. It wasn't like I risked it, even though I kind of did, I trusted her with what she said and she knew we weren't serious as well.
I'm happy with my current relationship and I was excited for the future until this girl rocked the boat.
I don't think she knows my date of birth and she definitely doesn't know my last employers or my address.
I earn around £1300 a month after tax.
I'll be paying the rent and bills when my mrs's' goes on maternity.
£700 rent and bills
£120 travel to work a month
£200 a month back to a family member because they cleared my credit card debt we agreed this.
£100 a month for my mobile contract and gym contract.
total of = £1120, left with £280 for the month.
WITHOUT food
without providing for the child I'm so excited for with the woman I will marry.
Some will slate me, but I hope some understand my position.
I'm wondering what can the CSA do to me and how much can they take? Will they take into account my child I'll have to provide for with myself living even a little too.
What can the CSA do to me and what/do I have any rights?
Also I can't be on the birth certificate can I? As I wasn't present.
If I was with her, then we broke up I'd pay and man up, but this situation is different.
What I find appauling is the fact young girls do this to guys on purpose just so they don't have to work.
Thanks
I'm a 23 year old male, working full time, with the love of my life and expecting a child in february and hopefully getting married.
The problem I have is that last november I knew a girl a little (19 yr old) slept with her (she is a psycho) two times with no condom (stupid I know) we got on well at the time and felt I could trust her. She said she was on the pill (then found out she was lying from her mother) and was told she couldn't have children, now guess what she has had a child and apparently it's mine and is now getting hold of the CSA.
Before people slate me, I want to elaborate, I want nothing to do with her, or her child. It wasn't like I risked it, even though I kind of did, I trusted her with what she said and she knew we weren't serious as well.
I'm happy with my current relationship and I was excited for the future until this girl rocked the boat.
I don't think she knows my date of birth and she definitely doesn't know my last employers or my address.
I earn around £1300 a month after tax.
I'll be paying the rent and bills when my mrs's' goes on maternity.
£700 rent and bills
£120 travel to work a month
£200 a month back to a family member because they cleared my credit card debt we agreed this.
£100 a month for my mobile contract and gym contract.
total of = £1120, left with £280 for the month.
WITHOUT food
without providing for the child I'm so excited for with the woman I will marry.
Some will slate me, but I hope some understand my position.
I'm wondering what can the CSA do to me and how much can they take? Will they take into account my child I'll have to provide for with myself living even a little too.
What can the CSA do to me and what/do I have any rights?
Also I can't be on the birth certificate can I? As I wasn't present.
If I was with her, then we broke up I'd pay and man up, but this situation is different.
What I find appauling is the fact young girls do this to guys on purpose just so they don't have to work.
Thanks
0
Comments
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Well the CSA are not invented by Carling, so you will have to deduct 15% from your £1300, equating to around £180 per month (and that does not include the DNA test which I'm sure you will get performed?!)
When you say you were not present do you mean at the conception?
Mate, you soon get used to contributing, it is often those that try and evade that end up overly stressed.0 -
Carling to run the CSA Bliss
To gooner i'd defo get a DNA test as you are in for 1 hell of a ride with the CSA.
Takes 2 to tango and of course i do sympathise when it comes to males. As their brains are overruled by something else.0 -
If she is a psycho why would you take her word for it that she was on the pill?
Anyway, as DUTR said you will be expected to pay 15% of your net income. However, when your new child is born 15% of your net income will be disregarded so the calculation will be 15% of £1105, roughly £165 per month.Sealed Pot Challenge #817 £50 banked0 -
Won't your girlfriend receive any maternity pay?Moving onto a better place...Ciao :wave:0
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"The problem I have is that last november I knew a girl a little (19 yr old) slept with her (she is a psycho) two times with no condom (stupid I know) ".... "a little"?!!!
OFGS IT'S YOUR CHILD TOO! Whether you want anything to do with "HER child" or not is irrelevant. Trusting her word she was on the pill is neither here nor there...the pill can fail...as can condoms... you both made the child, get used to the idea that for the next 18 years you will be providing for a child...who is not just a 'financial commitment' but actually your new child's half-sister!This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0 -
Get a DNA.0
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Oh dear.
A word of warning - you are going to get ripped to shreds on this forum!crazy_gooner wrote: »I'm wondering what can the CSA do to me and how much can they take? Will they take into account my child I'll have to provide for with myself living even a little too.
Your liability would probably be around £195 per month. Once your partner has the baby this will reduce to about £164.
What can the CSA do to me and what/do I have any rights?
Basically no you don't have any rights. If you do not pay they will persue you. I'm not 100% sure of their enforcement powers as I'm not brave enough to get that far with the CSA but they can deduct money from your earnings before it's paid to you and they can take your passport/driving licence off of you.
They can seriously stress you out and make your life hell.
If you think the amount that you're liable is bad you should know that if you don't pay and accrue arrears they can take up to 40% of your income off of you. That's £520 (whether you can afford it or not)!
Also I can't be on the birth certificate can I? As I wasn't present.
No idea. But it doesn't matter. If she says you are the Father you need to prove that. Saying you're not on the birth certificate wont help. You'll need to pay for a DNA test and hope that you're not the Father. If it comes back showing that you are the Father you are then liable for child maintenance.0 -
By the way does your current partner know about this other child? If not, good luck - you'll need it!0
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Firstly if this is your baby you'll be liable to pay her child suppourt - this could roughly be covered by the amount you are currently paying for your mobile and gym membership.
You may not be on the birth certificate but you can obtain a Parental Responsibility Agreement which will give you PR for the child - and if you cannot reach an agreement about contact I'd advise you see a family law solicitor to apply for a contact order.
I also dont understand "its not like I took a risk although I kind of did". thats like when people say "I wasnt planning to get pregnant, I just thought I'd stop taking my pill and see what happens"!0 -
remember the money you pay is to support your child ...not the 'ex'..
also ( someone has to say it) if you had unprotected sex last November ( and since) you may want to get checked for STIs... give your current girlfriend less to worry about!This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0
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