My situation .. What can I do?

marywooyeah

I think its common practice for pregnant women to be screened for stds as they pose a risk to the baby, but a good point that the OP probably has not considered.

G51shopaholic

hi - my brother had 1/2 his wages taken by CSA for a child that wasnt his!

First is the need for DNA to prove you are the father. You'd better tell your wife right now so she knows whats going on. would you prefer she heard it from someone else?

If you are married they will take your wifes earnings into account as well when calculating the % of deductions.

It doesnt matter what you pay out - they dont care.

Fiver29

G51shopaholic wrote: »

hi - my brother had 1/2 his wages taken by CSA for a child that wasnt his!

First is the need for DNA to prove you are the father. You'd better tell your wife right now so she knows whats going on. would you prefer she heard it from someone else?

If you are married they will take your wifes earnings into account as well when calculating the % of deductions.

It doesnt matter what you pay out - they dont care.

Are you sure about that, I got told by the CSA that they don't take wife's/husband's money into account, just joint money like CTC.

System

Absolutely get the DNA test asap.

But without wishing to rant...it isn't JUST about the money, your child, if she's proved to be yours, will only care in retrospect that you didn't pay X amount of pounds...what she WILL care about if she knows of you. is if you never send a birthday or Christmas card...or the odd letter wishing her a happy life...and your child by your new relationship will also want to know that his/her loving dad also took care of his first child.

check direct.gov.uk for info

fannyanna

That was CSA1 (and even then partners income wasn't used to pay maintenance - just to work out how much money the NRP had available to pay maintenance as such).

As this is a new case it will be on CSA2 which is a straight 15% deduction of net earnings (although when the new baby arrives it will be reduced slightly - I calculated earlier something like £31).

crazy_gooner

Hey guys. Thanks for all your responsibilities.

I didn't know the type of person she was until after really. I did a silly thing, but generally I am not stupid. It was more of a fling than a relationship, and I wasn't with my mrs's at the time.

For the record I had sti tests, came back clear, she even admitted she was sleeping about the same time as me.

If people want to rip me fine, I'm trying to be a man here and get some advice, which again I appreciate.

I do not have the girls number anymore, should I get in touch with CSA or wait for them? As I do not want arrears, or would arrears start to build up once they contact me?

Also, I told my mrs's about this girl when it first happened, she's supporting me ( before she was pregnant too).

I live my life by being honest, and that's why I came on here.

Just a shame the CSA do not take things into account.

I will pay the maintenance, it wont all go to the baby because I know how the girl is, selfish is just a nice word for her. She smokes a hell of a load of cannabis (not sure about now) worked cash in hand, owns and breeded pitbulls. Now that isn't my mind of a great person.

Thanks guys

System

cmoptions.org/en/options/child-support-agency.asp will give you some answers

CSA_Help

For the record I had sti tests, came back clear, she even admitted she was sleeping about the same time as me.


You sound a sensible guy but there you go put your mind at ease and get a DNA test.

Weve all done something stupid in our lives before

Best of luck

crazy_gooner

Thanks guys. Appreciate it, and like I said, I've been honest throughout my posts.

Appreciate the help.

clearingout

You need a DNA test. You MUST deny you are the father's child (this is important) at the point that the CSA contact you and make it clear you are not on the birth certificate. If you don't do it then, they have the power to assume you are the father and you will have an uphill battle getting a test through them later - your next port of call would then be the courts.

I would suggest that the child is the issue here, not you, and that the child has a right to a relationship not only with her father but also with her half sibling. I would also suggest that your child with your current relationship has a right to know her half sibling. Walking away from one child whilst you happily support another isn't a particularly moral move and something you are going to have to work out with your partner. How on earth do you think this child is going to feel growing up knowing her dad can't be bothered with her but is playing happy families elsewhere? Unfortunately, whatever method of contraception you use, there is always the chance of pregnancy and if you're going to have sex, you're going to have to accept the consequences. It has little, in my opinion. to do with the morals of the mother.

You are asking the CSA to 'take into account' your circumstances - I am not sure whether you mean your finances or the fact you didn't set out to have a child. Either way, if the child is yours, you have an obligation in law to provide for her. CSA couldn't care less about the rest of it - it's not their job. Get the DNA test first - the rest of it you can work out later. Good luck!