My situation .. What can I do?

mspa

If she is that bad and the baby turns out to be yours why would you want your child to be left with someone like her?

DUTR

mspa wrote: »

If she is that bad and the baby turns out to be yours why would you want your child to be left with someone like her?

I think I can answer that, if the child is good it is because of the Mother, if the child is bad, it is because of the Father, it's yet another penalty for being male on MSE

Mojisola

mspa wrote: »

If she is that bad and the baby turns out to be yours why would you want your child to be left with someone like her?

This will be a dilemma. Is the baby going to be safe with a "psycho", drug-taking mother? If he/she isn't, then how would the love of your life react to being asked to raise another woman's child alongside her own baby?

adamantine

at the end of the day if you are the father you have a responsibility to look after this child and pay for her.
as a parent you should want whats best for the girl and if the mother is as bad as you are making out she is you ought to properly step up and look after the child instead of just handing over the money and ignoring her.

DUTR

adamantine wrote: »

at the end of the day if you are the father you have a responsibility to look after this child and pay for her.
as a parent you should want whats best for the girl and if the mother is as bad as you are making out she is you ought to properly step up and look after the child instead of just handing over the money and ignoring her.

That is assuming the bad mouthing of the Mum is indeed correct :eek:
Too many partners (male and female) slag off the other one in their absence on this forum, and often the bad mouthing is just to enhance their own standing.
If the Mum is a physco minger, then the OP should have bagged it, he maybe 'fortunate' in that the child does not turn out to be his.
But his request at knowing if the CSA will hunt him down in the long run.... well if they have anything to go on, then they will catch up with him and arrears may follow, not to forget the strain it will put on his current relationship, best he get it all resolved sooner rather than later.

romanempire

At the risk of getting flamed....

Your liability to the CSA does not start until they contact you. Only then do you start accumulating arrears.

Does this crazy bird know much about you?

I don't think she knows my date of birth and she definitely doesn't know my last employers or my address.

With a bit of luck not enough. :cool:

Bide your time and wait for the brown envelope. When/if it does appear, insist on a DNA test.

R.

G51shopaholic

Don't know about practice in English GPs but here in Glasgow you can get a private DNA test done via your GP.

This is NOT covered by the NHS but charge is £50 per person. You do need the mothers consent but that is something I
would (again) urge you to get done ASAP.

Without this test you'll never know and we could all be seeing you on Jeremy Kyle!

gratefulforhelp_2

DUTR wrote: »

Well the CSA are not invented by Carling,

Probably the best government agency in the world?:rotfl:

DUTR wrote: »

I think I can answer that, if the child is good it is because of the Mother, if the child is bad, it is because of the Father, it's yet another penalty for being male on MSE

But like the Murphy's you're not bitter

DUTR wrote: »

If the Mum is a physco minger, then the OP should have bagged it,

...or at least not [EMAIL="sh@gged"]sh@gged[/EMAIL] it

OP you cannot be put on the birth certificate in your absence.

You may want to consider saving the amount that has been calculated for you so if the child does turn out to be yours, you don't have so much of a financial issue.

clearingout

It's truly amazing how many men are prepared to sh*g 'mingers' then complain when pregnancy results....says an awful lot about the society we live in.

I do have empathy when told someone is on the Pill and isn't, however. Although the issue of sh*gging 'mingers' who put it about and not considering how easy it is to contract HIV/AIDS is a worrying one. I grew up in the 80s - it would never occur to sleep with someone unknown without a condom. Why isn't that the case anymore?

Sigh.

OP - get your DNA test then you're sure.

crazy_gooner

A little update for all. I have contacted her mum, spoke to her mum and dad, both understand where I am coming from. The child is a little boy.

I asked for them to split the dna 50/50 with me, they said no as they already had one with someone else, I'm not sure she just slept with 2 people.

I was told they do not want my money, and because of the situation they wouldn't want to put me through hell.

I'm thinking of just doing a DNA test, or now waiting to see if the CSA contact me.

For example, if I leave it, and the CSA contact me in 1 year time, will I have to pay a year of back payments? As I am not on the birth certificate, I may be on her benefit claims as they needed a name, but that's all she knows.

I'd just like to know my righst in terms of back payments etc.

Yes I was stupid, I am not hiding behind anything, thanks!