My situation .. What can I do?

DUTR

kevin137 wrote: »

I agree, it is clear in my eye, from what has been said that the girl maybe has a reputation, this may well be wrong, and i know when you meet the right person things can and do change, but given what has been said on hear, it would appear that is not the case and that there is a lot of doubt as to whose the child is purely by the factor that another DNA test was paid for by the girls parents...

I as a parent would be so disappointed if my daughter got into that situation, but i would expect her to be honest ad open with me about who the father was and i would expect him to pay along with accepting his responsibility...

I have a 17 year old and a 12 year old daughter, and have already had conversations with my son about his responsibilities...! He knows that it is his choice to be careful or not, and that it has far reaching consequences should he make the wrong choices...!

Being open with his current partner may well have it's down side, but also, you have to think that honesty is an integral part of a relationship that should only strengthen it... If as this young man says, they really where apart at the time of this unfortunate/fortunate conception, depending on how you look at it.

She may have a reputation, but this can only be so, if guys are 'having a go, whilst nobody is looking
Or she just maybe insecure and perhaps beleives sex is the only way to get/hold a guy

System

DUTR wrote: »

She may have a reputation, but this can only be so, if guys are 'having a go, whilst nobody is looking
Or she just maybe insecure and perhaps beleives sex is the only way to get/hold a guy

I'd just like to second that

We only 'know' that the girl may have slept with 2 men in a month or so of each other because she got pregnant by one of them...we don't know how many girls the OP slept with in the same period or before... I don't think it helps to assume she has a 'deserved reputation' when we have no real idea and she can't comment on it.

What constitutes having a reputation these days? ( I'm too old to know:D ) more than 2, 20, 200? does the same scale apply to men as to women?

adamantine

Purbeck wrote: »

I'd just like to second that

We only 'know' that the girl may have slept with 2 men in a month or so of each other because she got pregnant by one of them...we don't know how many girls the OP slept with in the same period or before... I don't think it helps to assume she has a 'deserved reputation' when we have no real idea and she can't comment on it.

What constitutes having a reputation these days? ( I'm too old to know:D ) more than 2, 20, 200? does the same scale apply to men as to women?

i have to agree too. the OP knew of her "reputation" yet he still went with her - what does that say?

RedSky

It makes no difference who has a reputation and who doesn't. If contacted by the CSA then the OP must dispute paternity if he wants a DNA test, payable by the OP if it is positive. Maintenance starts from when the CSA make contact if paternity is accepted or a positive DNA test results. If he is the father and the child/mother is contactable then the OP has the moral dilemma of weighing up whether he can have a positive relationship with the child or circumstances dictate otherwise.

crazy_gooner

Hey guys, they called and told me it wasn't the other persons, but funny, baby is white, why test a black man for the baby, why not ask me first, or contact me first and just after?

I didn't know she had a rep first, or I wouldn't have gone with her,plus again, I'm an honest person, I do not sleep around, I made a mistake and may have to pay for it.

I have some messages via fb, none by sms anymore as I changed phone contract and number. Also some by phonecall which I obviously cannot prove.

Interested to see if anything happens.

DUTR

crazy_gooner wrote: »

Hey guys, they called and told me it wasn't the other persons, but funny, baby is white, why test a black man for the baby, why not ask me first, or contact me first and just after?

I didn't know she had a rep first, or I wouldn't have gone with her,plus again, I'm an honest person, I do not sleep around, I made a mistake and may have to pay for it.

I have some messages via fb, none by sms anymore as I changed phone contract and number. Also some by phonecall which I obviously cannot prove.

Interested to see if anything happens.

because at the tiime, you are not the putative father, believe it or not dual heritage children can be born black or white, it depends on how the dna is.

And how the test is concluded is the dna is tested at 16 locus points, 1st the child's dna is compared with the mother across the locus points, some points will be the same and the ones that differ will be the same as the ones in the father

eg
LP1 Mother = 29 Child 29,31 Father 29,31
LP2 Mother = 20,25 Child = 20,23 Father = 17,23

The pattern remains continues along all the locus points , so the child will have dna elements of both parents, where as the Mother Father are unlikely to have the same elements across all the points.

PS Leave the colour thing out of it, it is irrelevant .

crazy_gooner

DUTR wrote: »

because at the tiime, you are not the putative father, believe it or not dual heritage children can be born black or white, it depends on how the dna is.

And how the test is concluded is the dna is tested at 16 locus points, 1st the child's dna is compared with the mother across the locus points, some points will be the same and the ones that differ will be the same as the ones in the father

eg
LP1 Mother = 29 Child 29,31 Father 29,31
LP2 Mother = 20,25 Child = 20,23 Father = 17,23

The pattern remains continues along all the locus points , so the child will have dna elements of both parents, where as the Mother Father are unlikely to have the same elements across all the points.

PS Leave the colour thing out of it, it is irrelevant .

Of course and I understand that, but most people would think this way and do a test accordingly. I think someone else is involved too.

DUTR

crazy_gooner wrote: »

Of course and I understand that, but most people would think this way and do a test accordingly. I think someone else is involved too.

It does not matter though how many people are inolved, whoever the father is when tested the probability will be at least 99.9999% correct compared to 0.5 of a random male. There are black people that look as light as any other caucasion with hair to match :eek:

System

"Hey guys, they called and told me it wasn't the other persons, but funny, baby is white, why test a black man for the baby, why not ask me first, or contact me first and just after?"

Maybe she was hoping the other guy WAS the father regardless of who the child resembled colour wise and so they decided to have him tested first....?

It might sound harsh lol but if there had been a 'choice' of father when my son was born I would have hoped against hope it was 'the other one' ( that sounds bitter and twisted but it honestly isn't lol)

DUTR

Purbeck wrote: »

"Hey guys, they called and told me it wasn't the other persons, but funny, baby is white, why test a black man for the baby, why not ask me first, or contact me first and just after?"

Maybe she was hoping the other guy WAS the father regardless of who the child resembled colour wise and so they decided to have him tested first....?

It might sound harsh lol but if there had been a 'choice' of father when my son was born I would have hoped against hope it was 'the other one' ( that sounds bitter and twisted but it honestly isn't lol)

Heh heh, I wasjust going to ask if you get a copy of the results too, but re-read your post .