Is this a mad idea ???

busiscoming2

Errata wrote: »

Three little boys deserve to have a dad that'ss around all the time, especially the two that are on their second dad already. What's wroing with the OH saving all his current wage for six years and buying outright?

Agree with Errata.

must_try_harder_2

I understand you have a bad credit rating op, but if you went along to a bank for a mortgage with 3 years of good credit history and a 75k deposit (should be easily doable in 3 years), I can't see that they would turn you down.

There's no way I would want my husband to move away for that amount of time, not for any amount of money.

Also what when he comes back? I get the impression that there is currently an abundance of jobs in his field but will there be in 3 years when he wants to come home?

pearl123

Be careful of what you wish for your dreams may come true! Ever heard that saying?

You are risking family love and unity for money. Plus you are very lucky at the moment to have such a cheap rental in a recession. I think you'd be crazy to rock the boat.
Stay together - save - it will just take longer!

ska_lover

Like a pack of Feral animals some posters in here. The Op has been getting dissed since post two. Accused of benefit fraud and the ''how very dare the workers live in council house'' brigade. Ignorant people start slating you before even getting the whole story.


Just to add my tuppenth worth, to be honest, from the heart, I dont think I could do this. I can see why it is worth a consideration, but three years of not being with my OH would be awful. Anything could happen in three years, and it is time together we would never get back. I would go for the longer option, you are both young still. At the end of the day, we all have to do what is right in our own hears for ourselves and our family

bre16

Everyones making a big deal out of the kids not seeing their dad but did the OP not say he would be away for a few weeks then home for a couple of weeks?

My friend's husband works on an oil rig, I think he is away 3 weeks then home for one week, so he's at home a quarter of the time. This works well for them but obviously wouldn't work for everyone.

Just to add my ex-husband worked away he would work 2 weeks then home for 2 days and it was fantastic, we really valued the time we had together when we had it.... then he got a job near our home, moved back & we separated not long after! then I've got friends who wouldn't cope on their own for more than a day. Only you can decide weather your up to it or not. Good luck with whatever you decide.

skintchick

bevanuk wrote: »

I dont have kids by the way, so not sure - but in the first 18 months is anything huge going to be missed?

First smile.

First time they roll over.

First time they sit up.

First hug.

First babbling.

First time they eat solids.

First time they crawl.

First tooth.

First time they cruise.

First steps.

First words.

And lots lots more. A lot happens in the first 18 months. Children develop more in the first six months than at any other time in ther life, and more in the following six months than at any subsequent time in thier life. I'd say pretty much ALL of the 'firsts' happen in the fiorst 18 months of life. So dad would be missing a lot.

Beetlemama

If her OH is working away then he wouldnt be living there so she would be entitled to the lower council tax.

Just in case you'd considered it, this isn't correct. As you said when discussing claiming benefits as a single mother, your home is his home, and it remains his home for the definition of council tax even though he is working away.

The best he could do is claim his new property (if he lives away in his own place) as a second home, which could be between 10% and 50% reduction depending on the Local Authority. I doubt he would get Job Related discount unless he is required in his work contract to live in that specific property.

We wouldn't do the long distance thing. We're strong as a couple but distance has a way of hurting you. The first time one of the kids speaks to a man and likes them, how will he react to coming home to a story about Jim or Andy or Chris made them laugh..? I know DH wouldn't cope with that.

You use to manage on £15k, start living on your £22k and save his, you will be able to buy a little house outright in 3 years with his money if you save it all, after 3 years reflect on how you're coping and if it's going ok, wait another 2 and put another 80K towards the house.

jimimi

Why do people place so much importance on owning their own home? This isn't directed at the OP by the way, but my OH is the same, we live in a HA house and he goes on about buying our own house, but the way I see it is when we get old, we won't have to worry if the boiler blows up or the roof leaks, we'll just call someone out. Before I get shot down in flames, we prob couldn't afford to buy a house anyways so we're not preventing a poor homeless family from using this house.

nearlyrich

Don't forget OP that he will have costs of living too so all his wages saved is not realistic good luck whatever you decide to do

geoffky

go for it.. i worked away for years and years..i retired at the age of 40 because i could because of the hard work i had done working 84 hr weeks as the norm...i was offered a job last week at £400 per day and did not take it as i did not want to work away ever again..plus its off on holidays time next week,,work hard as hell young and later sit back and enjoy the rewards.