Is this a mad idea ???

CH27

IMO no house is worth more than a happy, united family.

Lotus-eater

AmandaD28 wrote: »

Out of interest can I ask why you wouldn't do it ?

I already said, you have plenty of money coming in, there is no need for extra, you could save £30k a year if you wanted to.

Being away and leaving you with 3 kids to look after, if he doesn't have to be, is not something I'd do now.

onlyroz

Couldn't you ALL move to where this magical £80k a year job is? Surely you're "portable" - in that you can be a nurse in any town/city, whereas these £80k jobs don't grow on trees and are mainly in certain areas of the country.

As an aside - yes you should certainly be able to get a decent mortgage on a combined £60k salary, just as long as you've got a sizeable deposit saved up.

AmandaD28

onlyroz wrote: »

Couldn't you ALL move to where this magical £80k a year job is? Surely you're "portable" - in that you can be a nurse in any town/city, whereas these £80k jobs don't grow on trees and are mainly in certain areas of the country.

As an aside - yes you should certainly be able to get a decent mortgage on a combined £60k salary, just as long as you've got a sizeable deposit saved up.

I don't think uprooting the whole family is the solution my nursing is a specialist branch and jobs are few and far between and whilst I have no doubt there will be others out there they will almost certainly not be where OH is going to be. Then there is the boys and their relationship with their natural father if he moved away their already fragile relationship would almost certainly crumble and I don't want that. We will also be moving away from a large close knit support network which enables me to work in my chosen profession conventional childcare does not really offer the hours I need to work and if I was fortunate enough to find some that did it costs a fortune and would eat a huge chunk out of our house fund. I'm not sure if that would be best for the family to be uprooted from people we love and depend on.

BitterAndTwisted

What would I do? Put together a six-year savings-plan in your current circumstances. Six years is how long those unfavourable things will take to drop off your credit-files. On your kind of income you could think about living on your salary alone and banking as much of your OH's salary as you can. I reckon in six years you could save up enough to either buy a property outright or have really substantial savings and not deprive your children of a full-time father while you do it either.

rachbc

My friend has a husband who has gone off and worked away immediately after her 2 kids have been born - it works for them but there is no way on earth I would have done it, nor my hubby, even for the prospect o fbeing mortgage free in 3 years

elvis86

Personally I wouldn't do this, I think the sacrifice is too great and not really necessary.

I think you should do all of your sums and work out how quickly you can pay off your debts whilst taking advantage of the cheap rent you currently pay (although, and I don't mean to sound harsh, but I think that a couple with an income of £60,000 PA who are living in a council house should be taking a long, hard look at themselves and learning from their past mistakes, which it sounds like you are).

Then you can start saving towards a deposit (on your incomes you could save this in a relatively short time, especially if you can stick to the part of the plan where you live on your salary alone) and put a deposit down on a house once you're there.

Long term planning and "a means to an end" type sacrifices are all well and good, but you don't know what's around the corner and your OH would effectively be sacrificing valuable time with your child in his early years.

Person_one

My dad lived with us full time but worked long hours and unsociable shifts so we didn't get to see him much. We missed him terribly and lived for the rare weekend days we could spend as a complete family.

Don't force your children to miss their father unless you have no other option. Having a good relationship with dad means so so so much more to a child than if their parents own the home they live in. Also, all the dads I know would be gutted not to be around for their child's first smiles, first taste of new foods, first tottering steps, first 'dada' (which always come before 'mama'!) and first football shirt! Some dads have to, this one doesn't.

balletshoes

Its not a mad idea Amanda, but I do agree with others who have posted - in your circumstances, there isn't any need to have your OH work away for 3 years. You have disposable income, your combined salaries now are reasonable and will allow you to save a decent deposit for a home of your own in 3 years time. Put the savings plan in place now, based on what your income is now.

I think there is a big difference between working away because you have to (ie work away or no job at all) and working away from your family for extended periods of time to provide extras and sacrificing huge chunks of family time to do it. 3 years away is a long time in the life of very young children.

Errata (I think it was) is also right in that in a "dad working away" relationship, he will need to get used to being around the family again when he comes home, the kids will need to get used to him being around again, and he'll find that the household routine has been built and is being maintained without his input. Honestly, having been there and done it, it there isn't any real need to do this, I wouldn't put your family through it, its not easy, for anybody involved.

somethingcorporate

I wouldn't say it was mad to consider it but for the extra few pounds a month it will end up after tax (unless is in a tax free economy) in my opinion would never make up for the quality time he would lose with you and his family.

Put together the longer term plan and make it happen.

My wife and I have recently moved from London where we both had great prospects, wage earning potential and career paths ahead of us but gave it up and moved back North to settle and have a family and spend some more time together. I have found once we discovered the ability to save (as it appears you do in your current situation) then earning more just means we increase our spending quicker than we increase our saving. The extra money will never buy your time back with your family!