Is this a mad idea ???

bevanuk

It all depends how much he can be home. If he is away then I assume it will be so many weeks off, and so many on? Which may not be too bad. I dont have kids by the way, so not sure - but in the first 18 months is anything huge going to be missed?
People in the forces do it and don't get paid 80k!

Also you say you could by outright in three years, but realistically in a year you will have a massive amount to secure a deposit anyway? So can move quicker by mortgaging.

I say go for it.

Tish_P

One more thing - how real is this 80k job on a scale of 0 to 10 where 10 is an offer in writing? Even for very talented people, that kind of job doesn't just fall into one's lap in this economy. Plus if the 80k job is in e.g. central London, he'll need to pay for somewhere to live there plus commuting costs, which could eat up a fair whack of the increase over his current salary. I think you need some long careful discussions with your OH and a calculator. Good luck whatever you decide!

Kimberley82

Tish_P wrote: »

One more thing - how real is this 80k job on a scale of 0 to 10 where 10 is an offer in writing? Even for very talented people, that kind of job doesn't just fall into one's lap in this economy. Plus if the 80k job is in e.g. central London, he'll need to pay for somewhere to live there plus commuting costs, which could eat up a fair whack of the increase over his current salary. I think you need some long careful discussions with your OH and a calculator. Good luck whatever you decide!

There are still jobs like that abroad a family member was earning well above that but the conditions were not great

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

thatgirlsam wrote: »

There is no law no, but morally I find it wrong.. There are families living in hostels and b&b's because of the lack of social housing

I live in a council house and if I earned enough or my sitaution changed so I could afford full rents or a mortgage then I would be out like a shot, trust me

There will ALWAYS be a lack of social housing, regardless if the council only submit people on low incomes, this isnt because people on higher incomes are taking them, it's because of the amount of people wanting houses (so reproduction - lets stop everyone having more than one child like they do in china . . . ) the economy (So let's make companies offer wages they cant afford . . . ) and stop immigration (so let's turn our backs on everyone - thus also stopping us having allies when we need them . . . . ) see where im going with this? its impossible.

In recent years the councils HAVE changed their housing contracts. I know of 5 elderly people who have 3 bedroom houses and they live alone (one has a 5 bed!) at the time they was given it, they needed the rooms. As their children moved out the council was unable to force them into smaller homes as their tenancy contract stopped this from happening. The contracts now (well certainly in our area) state that if you DO NOT need the rooms (so if your kids leave home etc) then you will be moved into more suitable accommodation. this will free up more of the 3 beds that the families in the hostel can move in to IYSWIM.

People who work with families get discriminated enough as it is - to say they arent entitled to a house because the earn is yet another example of discrimination

Sorry I know this seems like im having a go - I'm not, just want to show you there is another point of view and everyone is entitled to their opinions

ANYWAY: so this doesnt turn into a council house debate and we high jack the thread lol

OP - From this £80k a year - how much of that will be used for living costs?

floatylight

It will be hard but think of it this way, you will be able to speak on the phone, skype, email etc.

My partner is in the Navy and will be at the start of a 6 month deployment when our baby is born in Feb and there are hundreds of other forces families in the same situation who will only have a short phone call each week to look forward to and no skype. The way we look on it is similar to you (he gets paid more while he is away, no where near £80k but still more) as we are also in council property and struggling to save for a mortgage and there is no way I would give this up as I needed when I was on my own with the kids, I work hard and pay my taxes and will be able to buy my own property a lot quicker here than if I doubled or tripled my rent by renting privately, I know some won't agree with that but, you never know when you will need social housing and just because my situation has changed it doesn't mean it won't again in the future.

AmandaD28

the_cat wrote: »

Maybe the relationship between the 2 of you could survive, although it will certainly put pressure on it!

Of greater concern to me would be that your OH loses out on seeing and being a full part of his son growing up in the first three years of his life. I appreciate it is a personal thing, but to me no house/long term plan would be enough to give that up for.

That's my concern too this is our first child together and whilst he is an excellent father figure to my boys they aren't his biologically but if anyone saw us together as a family you wouldn't know that the boys turn to him as much as the do to me they were young when their father walked out 5yrs and 15months and especially in the case of the youngest my OH is the only man he's ever known around the house. Don't get me wrong they don't call him dad they have one of those but to the youngest dad is someone he see's every other weekend.

OH has no children of his own until our little bundle arrives in Jan and I suspect he may feel differently when he arrives and he has that bond from birth.

thatgirlsam

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel wrote: »

There will ALWAYS be a lack of social housing, regardless if the council only submit people on low incomes, this isnt because people on higher incomes are taking them, it's because of the amount of people wanting houses (so reproduction - lets stop everyone having more than one child like they do in china . . . ) the economy (So let's make companies offer wages they cant afford . . . ) and stop immigration (so let's turn our backs on everyone - thus also stopping us having allies when we need them . . . . ) see where im going with this? its impossible.

In recent years the councils HAVE changed their housing contracts. I know of 5 elderly people who have 3 bedroom houses and they live alone (one has a 5 bed!) at the time they was given it, they needed the rooms. As their children moved out the council was unable to force them into smaller homes as their tenancy contract stopped this from happening. The contracts now (well certainly in our area) state that if you DO NOT need the rooms (so if your kids leave home etc) then you will be moved into more suitable accommodation. this will free up more of the 3 beds that the families in the hostel can move in to IYSWIM.

People who work with families get discriminated enough as it is - to say they arent entitled to a house because the earn is yet another example of discrimination

Sorry I know this seems like im having a go - I'm not, just want to show you there is another point of view and everyone is entitled to their opinions

ANYWAY: so this doesnt turn into a council house debate and we high jack the thread lol

OP - From this £80k a year - how much of that will be used for living costs?

Its not discrimination at all - Its common sense that subsidised housing should be for those who need it, same as benefits

But I agree, lets not de-rail the thread

FBaby

I too do have an issue that people on that salary can et LA housing, but that's not the OP's business, so certainly another discussion.

You say you don't have problems with childcare, does this mean you have family that will be looking after 3 children whilst you work? Will they also support you at other times. How old are your eldest? Do your other children see their dad regularly? Would your husband be back for the week-ends?

I guess it all depends on whether you would be able to cope with a full-time job, baby and two other chidren on your own for the time he is away. It is pretty certain that it won't be ideal, but if you can cope, then i think it is a brilliant idea. Being mortgage free from the age of 32 would be fantastic and open a lot of opportunities for the future, but of course, this is all pointless if you end up totally stressed, off-sick, with confused kids, and your relationship on the rock.

Would there be any possibility of giving it a try and for your partner to come back to his current position, or similar position locally if it didn't work.

AmandaD28

podperson wrote: »

From your OH's point of view he would be missing out a massive part of the first few years of his child's life, that's a big sacrifice to make and I would sincerely ask him if he might regret it later on. Not to mention you would be coping on a much lower income and being basically on your own with 3 children. Only you know how much you want to 'own' your own property but personally I would be prepared to wait a little longer for it and have a more fulfilling family life (that's just personal opinion, I don't want it to come across that I'm criticising your choices). If you could 'manage' on your wage anyway could you not save his current wage? In a year or two that would be a decent deposit and your credit rating will have improved some so should be able to get a mortgage on that. Could he take on any overtime where he is or look at a bit of contract work?

The job he currently has is salaried and there is no overtime available as part of his contract aswell its written that when demand for product is high his emplyers can give two weeks notice and he has to work sundays too he works a three shift pattern atm 6-2 2-10 and nightshift this means atm he is working 6 days a week he gets no extra money for this only hours in the bank so to speak so contract work also out of the question.

With regards to saving his income currently we could save a chuck yes but as he is home the household costs more to run and he is also running a car which costs a lot of money.

AmandaD28

Tish_P wrote: »

One more thing - how real is this 80k job on a scale of 0 to 10 where 10 is an offer in writing? Even for very talented people, that kind of job doesn't just fall into one's lap in this economy. Plus if the 80k job is in e.g. central London, he'll need to pay for somewhere to live there plus commuting costs, which could eat up a fair whack of the increase over his current salary. I think you need some long careful discussions with your OH and a calculator. Good luck whatever you decide!

The chances of the job being there are at 8 or 9 it doesn't involve moving anywhere like London it involves his living in accomodation provided by the employer and he will be given a company credit card with a £50 perday limit for expenses.

He will be away anything between 4- 8 weeks at a time and then return home for a few weeks before going off again and the work could take him around the world.