Abortion/termination advice *UPDATE - SENSITIVE*

Sensible_Jess

scottishchick27 wrote: »

I hope you don't mean mine, as I wasn't being hurtful

No, hun -

mishkanorman

LondonDiva wrote: »

Mishkanorman- I know this will have been a really emotional time for you, but wanted to follow up this part of your post as I think there were some contradictory things in it.

You state that you were not offered any kind of counselling and wished they had forced you to undergo some - although you said / gave the impression you were ok.

Particularly given the apparent genetic issues behind the termination, there would have been quite a lot of information and advice available during the discussions before, leaflets offered throughout and details of support afterwards. If you felt they just took your word for it, they must have in someway checked how you were doing / spoken to you afterwards for someone to have taken your 'word' that all was ok.

Counselling, like any type of therapy needs consent and a somewhat receptive mind and you can’t force anyone into it.

Hope you take this as the constructive feed back it was meant to be, but taking grownup decisions about your health also means asking for help or taking up support that’s there and I think it’s important for others in your position not to feel they are passive participants in the process and that anytime afterwards, they are able to take ownership to resolve concerns.

If you do still feel you would benefit from support / counselling the team that arranged the tests and abortion will be able to arrange specialist counselling, or you could contact your GP who can arrange it for you.

I stated I wished 'someone' had forced me, i wasnt referring to someone from the medical profession but someone close to me in my family/friends. It couldnt have been anyone from the hospital as once I had left the hospital I didnt have any further contact with anyone, until the subsequent pregnancy. I was given a leaflet from ARC at the time of the appointment when i was given the initial pill - that was the only piece of information we received. We werent given any information regarding the abnormality the baby was suffering from either, the only info i gained was from research on the internet.

I dont mind people offering advice, i do take mild offence to the comment of "but taking grownup decisions about your health also means asking for help or taking up support that’s there"
i had just gone through an immense emotional as well as physical traumatic experience, its not unreasonable to hope someone close to you would offer the kind of support that you dont realise you need at the time.

poet123

I think even people very close to us are wary of rocking the boat at such emotional times. You may not have reacted well to your husband for example "forcing" you to have counselling and he may have been fearful of putting you under more pressure.

Additionally, counselling may not have been that helpful at that time, when you were very close to the event. Ime counselling helps more when there is a bit of distance involved between the event and the onset of the sessions. Now would probably be the optimum time.