Help !! before war breaks out in my house !!

BitterAndTwisted

In a way, I think I can sympathise with your OH's position (slightly). She's already defaulted on her previous commitments by not paying her rent and now she appears to not be willing to pay her fair share with you. He could be right in that there's a danger she might be getting a free-ride that's not justified or deserved.

balletshoes

janiebaby29 wrote: »

which is what i have suggessted !!!
in short its my husband isnt it !!

yes it is, he's being stoopid with a capital S.
Live around him, if he doesn't want to talk to you and wants to be a baby, you just be calm and do what your normally do ie make dinner the way you usually would, watch TV when/where you normally would. If he's determined to huff, pick up a book/your ipod/laptop etc and entertain yourself that way at home. Or go out shopping/cinema etc with your daughter/friends. Don't try to cajole him or wheedle him back into a good mood, he's being an a**e, don't pander to it .

When your daughter hands over her first percentage of her part time wage to you for her board, mention it to him, but don't harp on about it. Its a done deal, and it seems perfectly reasonable to me.

janiebaby29

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

In a way, I think I can sympathise with your OH's position (slightly). She's already defaulted on her previous commitments by not paying her rent and now she appears to not be willing to pay her fair share with you. He could be right in that there's a danger she might be getting a free-ride that's not justified or deserved.

thanks , yes i can see that too !!

janiebaby29

well im tempted to immerse myself in a bottle of wine later ! its hard being piggie in the middle and trying to be a peace enforcer !!

scheming_gypsy

Point out to your other half that if you take the full rent off her she'll have less money to save up for another flat; resulting in her sticking around longer.

Amyrose

This might seem tough but I don’t see why you should reduce her rent because she is working part time.

A landlord wouldn’t care if she was working part-time, he would still expect his rent.

I’m sorry but I’m with your husband on this. Since she is twenty-one, the amount of rent set should be what she pays regardless of what job she has.

If she can’t afford to pay her rent then start a ‘rent due book’ for her adding on each weeks rent. And when she has a full-time job an arrangement can be made for her to repay what she owes you.

I’m going to take a stab at this and say I bet you do the food shopping and cook her meals, you probably do her laundry too.

I have three grown kids, they all moved out and moved back a few times before they found their feet. Rent was set and a book started. They did their own food shopping, cooked their own meals and did their own laundry.

I’m sorry but the truth is the more we do for them the more they will let us do. And we do them no favours. The more we do for them the longer it will take them to stand on their own two feet. I think some call it tough love.

scheming_gypsy

Amyrose wrote: »

This might seem tough but I don’t see why you should reduce her rent because she is working part time.

.

probably because of....

janiebaby29 wrote: »

we did have a chat a while ago and she agreed to pay us 50 quid a week rent from this fulltime job ,

So the agreement was:
full time job = £50 a week rent

Mojisola

Amyrose wrote: »

I’m going to take a stab at this and say I bet you do the food shopping and cook her meals, you probably do her laundry too.

I have three grown kids, they all moved out and moved back a few times before they found their feet. Rent was set and a book started. They did their own food shopping, cooked their own meals and did their own laundry.

I’m sorry but the truth is the more we do for them the more they will let us do. And we do them no favours. The more we do for them the longer it will take them to stand on their own two feet. I think some call it tough love.

As she's only part-time, she should have a list of jobs to do around the house. If he can see that she is contributing "in kind" to the household, he might ease up on wanting the full £50 from her.

janiebaby29

I dont do her laundry , she does it and she knows if shes not home by a certain time , for when i start doing dinner , she doesnt get any , she does some help around the home , not as much as i'd like , but then i cant have everything !
i did raise the issue of her catching up with her full rent , but as she doesnt know WHEN she is going to get another part time job , its a little bit up in the air and she wouldnt be able to save towards getting another flat

LittleMissAspie

Amyrose wrote: »

This might seem tough but I don’t see why you should reduce her rent because she is working part time.

A landlord wouldn’t care if she was working part-time, he would still expect his rent.

But tenants can get housing benefit if their income is below a certain amount, plus they can move somewhere cheaper if they can't afford the rent longterm. So I don't agree with a fixed rent regardless of income, it's not in keeping with how people live in the real world.

I would suggest charging a percentage of her income, I reckon 20-30% as that's what people tend to spend on their rent/mortgage.