I'm sort of homeless. Need money NOW.

Butti

Vanille,
You clearly have a somewhat problematic relationship with your mother which seems to based on an issue of respect. She probably has an issue of respect for herself and hence the problem of how she talks to you.

I think it is good for you to get up early and to focus on finishing your coursework (I am on JSA and doing a 20,000 word dissertation so I can see some of where you are coming from).

Do try to keep them sweet by abiding by their rules but do also pay them something. The gov't are taking £32 a week out of my JSA for my mortgage interest so maybe thats a starting point. I don't care if they won't accept it. You tell them you are leaving it at X or have filled the car up with that amount of petrol. Force them to take it as it will put you on a bit more of an adult - adult relationship.

Once you have finished your module get a job. Good luck with that cos it's tough out there.

B

merlin68

I think you need some counselling, pulling a suicide punch, when things don't go your way. It's how you behave that gets you respect, not what you do.
If you hate people, you will wind them up straight away.

Vanille_2

merlin68 wrote: »

TBH you sound like a spoilt brat and i'm amazed that your parents have stuck you as long as they have.
You'd last 5mins in my house. you certainly wouldn't be lying in bed all day, one of my dd's cooks dinner every night and the other does the washing and dishwasher and they are 16 and 13.
They are woken up at 7 with a water spray LOL.
I can't believe somone of 24 is so immature.

Would you care to expand on this?

You've obviously failed to read some of my earlier posts. If I don't get to sleep until 6am, then I wake up at 12pm, does that qualify as lying in bed all day? Most people in this scenario get more sleep than I do, yet i'm considered lazy?

That's nice if your children do this for you, but that doesn't mean it's the same in every household. For example, you might treat your children better than my parents treat me, therefore your children may not mind helping. I still help, but not as much as I would if I had respect also.

Like I said, just because they provide a roof doesn't mean that you bow down to them. It would be the case if you weren't abused, but I am. Also, it would look bad on my parents if I was homeless, so it's kind of in their interest that i'm not.

You sound as though you're more naive than you'll ever know. One thing I despise is when more 'senior citizens' assume they're correct based on their position in society, which only really derives from being alive longer and getting pregnant at some point in their lives.

You say the sort of things that sound correct upon first hearing them, but on closer inspection they're not.

rising_from_the_ashes

Vanille wrote: »

If they ask me to help them, I will. If they TELL me to help them, I won't.

Vanille wrote: »

Seriously, how would you feel if you were just sitting there in the living room with some guests, then your mum just suddenly announces "Well, John is going to make us all a cup of tea now, aren't you John?". That !!!!es me right off. That's no way to treat somebody.

Do you ever offer to do something?

When their friends came round and they were catching up, did it ever occur to you to say "would anyone like a cup of tea or coffee"?

Sorry, I get where you're coming from but you are coming across as being very selfish and childish - whatever they are expecting/demanding or anything else, your parents are putting a roof over your head and you should be grateful for that and put up with it until you are in a position to move out.

CH27

Vanille wrote: »

Would you care to expand on this?

You've obviously failed to read some of my earlier posts. If I don't get to sleep until 6am, then I wake up at 12pm, does that qualify as lying in bed all day? Most people in this scenario get more sleep than I do, yet i'm considered lazy?

That's nice if your children do this for you, but that doesn't mean it's the same in every household. For example, you might treat your children better than my parents treat me, therefore your children may not mind helping. I still help, but not as much as I would if I had respect also.

Like I said, just because they provide a roof doesn't mean that you bow down to them. It would be the case if you weren't abused, but I am. Also, it would look bad on my parents if I was homeless, so it's kind of in their interest that i'm not.

You sound as though you're more naive than you'll ever know. One thing I despise is when more 'senior citizens' assume they're correct based on their position in society, which only really derives from being alive longer and getting pregnant at some point in their lives.

You say the sort of things that sound correct upon first hearing them, but on closer inspection they're not.

I see why your parents think you leaving is for the best.

Mags_cat

Vanille wrote: »

Like I said, just because they provide a roof doesn't mean that you bow down to them.

Until you work to provide your own roof, it should, in my opinion.

Vanille wrote: »

It would be the case if you weren't abused, but I am. Also, it would look bad on my parents if I was homeless, so it's kind of in their interest that i'm not.

Abused? Because you feel your mother doesn't like you? Unless there's an AWFUL lot more that you're not saying I can't see how this can possibly qualify as abuse. You have no idea how bad abuse can be if you think that what you've said here qualifies as abuse.

Honestly, you need to get some help and start growing up. Life isn't all that nice, unless you work to make it so.

arbroath_lass

You know what? You sound like a toddler having a tantrum. Grow up and give your parents a break. IT IS THEIR HOUSE!

merlin68

Why does it look bad on your parents if a 24 year old is homeless? Your an adult and should be self sufficient.
You need a regular routine. It's not suprising that you go to bed late and wake up late. How on earth are you going to get to work for 9.00?
You class being told what to do as abuse?
I'm hardly a senior citizen at 43 LOL. The best treatment for any mental illness is a regular sleep pattern and having at least 2 chores a day. I do have OCD myself. Am under a shrink as well.

Vanille_2

merlin68 wrote: »

I think you need some counselling, pulling a suicide punch, when things don't go your way. It's how you behave that gets you respect, not what you do.
If you hate people, you will wind them up straight away.

You have ignored my other comments.

You're right though, suicide is immature, which is why i'm expressing this on a forum and not in person. Nobody knows me here so I don't mind airing my laundry.

One thing you've missed, though, is that I don't intend on committing suicide. I only get that feeling when everything gets overwhelming from all angles. One thing you need to realise is that my logic and feelings are separate, i'm expressing my feelings because it allows me to vent. I wouldn't have expressed feelings of suicide in person, but the internet allowed me to. Don't let this fact fit into every context.
Somebody who contemplates or carries out suicide is immature, however somebody that merely feels as an instinct, but logically knows it's the wrong answer, does not fall into that category. I'm having a problem with a multitude of channels in life, but that does not mean that my feeling for suicide is immature.
What i'm doing is understanding where these feelings come from and trying to resolve them; sometimes I get caught up in the moment and I sound like a child. That most likely happens to many of us at some points, but you'll never know about it. My friends/family certainly won't know about this little outburst.

You know nothing about my behavior or even the full relationship with my parents. You're assuming my personality based on a few conflicts within a household. I think what you're doing is comparing it with your own household, which is not going to work, because we have different dynamics in ours than you do.

CH27

Vanille wrote: »

You have ignored my other comments.

You're right though, suicide is immature, which is why i'm expressing this on a forum and not in person. Nobody knows me here so I don't mind airing my laundry.

One thing you've missed, though, is that I don't intend on committing suicide. I only get that feeling when everything gets overwhelming from all angles. One thing you need to realise is that my logic and feelings are separate, i'm expressing my feelings because it allows me to vent. I wouldn't have expressed feelings of suicide in person, but the internet allowed me to. Don't let this fact fit into every context.
Somebody who contemplates or carries out suicide is immature, however somebody that merely feels as an instinct, but logically knows it's the wrong answer, does not fall into that category. I'm having a problem with a multitude of channels in life, but that does not mean that my feeling for suicide is immature.
What i'm doing is understanding where these feelings come from and trying to resolve them; sometimes I get caught up in the moment and I sound like a child. That most likely happens to many of us at some points, but you'll never know about it. My friends/family certainly won't know about this little outburst.

You know nothing about my behavior or even the full relationship with my parents. You're assuming my personality based on a few conflicts within a household. I think what you're doing is comparing it with your own household, which is not going to work, because we have different dynamics in ours than you do.

We know what you have told us & that is what we are basing our comments on. You obviously wanted everyone on here to sympathise with you & are miffed that we haven't.