I'm sort of homeless. Need money NOW.

System

Here's a thought...you spent 5 years living away from home, and the last 2 back there...in that 5 years your parents possibly got used to a bit of extra 'space', physically and emotionally...they had time to each other to stop doing the parent thing and go back to being 'people in their own right' , not just 'Vanille's mum and dad'... If you've only been back 2 months it's hardly surprising that it's difficult for all concerned.

Quote "Almost every other parent supports their child in some way throughout university"...FACT NO they don't! and many children don't have a decent home to go back to... many kids end up running away from abuse at home and end up on the street...you are not the only person to have problems... in all honesty, mental health problems or not you need to see that actually being told off for not towing the line, or for eating garlic is really a very small thing in the grand scheme! People starve, they die, they lose their children,...you are really lucky!

You say your mother has depression? and now she has to cope with worrying about you also! You lack motivation you say...do you imagine she hasn't noticed? do you imagine she doesn't sometimes think 'where did I go wrong'? I think perhaps the reason she gets on with your brother is NOT that he did his course on time, works... but because he gives her less to worry about! If she is suffering from depression she can't cope with any more problems...you need to show some compassion for her not focus on yourself so much.

As for your comment that you have helped your parents financially in the past...haven't we all? as they doubtless did when you were a kid and needed something 'superfluous'. That's how most families work...give and take.

One thing you say annoyed me "Even during my studies I landed a job better than my mum currently has" IMO that is unspeakably arrogant and stupid! So your mum has a job that you think is not that important...so what? She may enjoy it, or it may suit her not to have a challenging job, just one that pays some wages!

The idea that you are going to have a "job that challenges me for life" is , well let's say 'optimistic'...very few people find that permanence or challenge in a job for life these days.

Logically, and you value logic, you don't like where you are, and it suits no one... get down the job centre ( if you're claiming JS why aren't they chasing you to do something?!) , take any job you can do...study in the evenings ( LOTS of people have to combine the two) and find a room somewhere else.

Vanille_2

jc808 wrote: »

You're a horrid, blinkered, lazy, selfish, high-horsed smart !!!!. No wonder your parents hate you.

Proudly, one of 'most people'

Would you care to expand on this? It's funny how the people summarising my entire personality this way have no real evidence to back it up.

Blinkered - How am I narrow minded? The entire thread suggests that i'm reading into this without preconceptions and i'm challenging what everybody else seems to accept blindly.

Lazy - How the f*** am I lazy? The very post you quoted of mine is full of things that I've done with my time that i'll bet YOU HAVEN'T. I have accomplished more than most 24 year olds. Where have I been lazy??? Today I came back from a 4 mile walk and then went to complete a 180kg deadlift (amongst other lifts) and then went swimming. What did you do?

Selfish - This is possibly your only credible point, except that this is only in context to my mum. I'm certainly not selfish as far as my existence is concerned with other people. Perhaps doing voluntary work is selfish? You're annoyed just because I question things, instead of just following them like you do. Why should I do certain things that people have ordered me to? Are you a sheep?

High-Horsed - So maybe I shouldn't defend myself then? Maybe I shouldn't look back on my achievements and derive some self-worth from them? I didn't start this argument of respect. I don't disrespect others unless they're given me a reason to. Those people who leave school at 16, have 4 babies before the age of 20 and worked in a bakery for 20 years looked down on me FIRST. I'm only defending why I shouldn't be treated as a 2nd class citizen. Let it be known that I come from a working class family, but i'm sick of this whole working class attitude of people who hate those that are proud of their achievements. In England if you drive a nice car people call you an a**hole. If you do something and you're proud of it then you're an arrogant a**hole. The only way i'll get the respect from people is to work for 40 years in a physically demanding job?

What a *****. People like you just label me something quickly and then go on through life thinking you're right and that you're above me. You've failed to see the hypocrisy and of your reverse-snobbery.

skintandscared_2

Shiloe wrote: »

You are an utter moron and now clearly scum aswell. I feel sorry for your parents you are ungrateful and you come across as a very difficult person

You are committing benefit fraud yet you seem to feel like this is okay ... wake up SPONGER ! Fingers crossed you get shafted by the fraud department although sometime tells he you will just spin them the same "I'm the victim story" as you seem to be doing here

How productive. And how eloquently put. Could you just translate the last sentence into English for me please? thanks. :rotfl:

rising_from_the_ashes

This is getting out of hand - calling someone childish or selfish is one thing.... calling them "scum" or "a moron" is totally another.

bobajob_1966

I have not read the whole thread, but can you specify exactly why you dislike your mum so much? No ramble, just a list of bullet points ... Perhaps it will help us see your side of it a bit better?

bobajob_1966

skintandscared wrote: »

How productive. And how eloquently put. Could you just translate the last sentence into English for me please? thanks. :rotfl:

It made sense to me - perhaps you should reread it?

Vanille_2

kittiej wrote: »

^^ A bit harsh.

OP I can understand the point that you are an adult and have lived away from home previously. It isn't always easy then having to return and be seen as a grown up by parents. This can cause a conflict of parents being overbearing and it can be difficult for them to realise you are a 24yr old man.

Have you tried to negotiate a set of house rules which everyone will adhere to or is that not possible?

Re food, if you are an athlete (?) training for the CWG then I would assume that you would need to follow a diet and by having to give up part of your food could impact upon performance? I'm sure you will correct me if wrong.

Re sleeping, my son is like you and it drives me bonkers that this 7yr old boy is quite happily playing James Bond by walking up and down his bed until the early hours of the morning. You sound like you have an overactive mind which does mean that you put lots of effort into thinking and not too much doing. It starts off with you putting all your energy into your thoughts and sometimes actions and then it just gets exhausting and because your brain won't switch off you then go onto the next thing to think about and so the cycle begins again.

Re being made to look like an idiot in front of others, take the wind out of your mother's sails by jumping in first and offering to make cups of tea for everyone. It might also give you brownie points with them and if your mothere has ever said anything to them about you then it will prove her wrong.

Being a mother is all about making mistakes however it isn't about abusing your children which swearing at a child is. Did you ever bond with your mother? I am wondering whether she not only has OCD but ASD traits as well which could be a reason that she is unreasonable, though she won't see it that way. It could be that you both pull in opposite directions a little bit but that little bit on each side adds up to a lot. How does your mother get on with your brother?

Would you be able to stay with your GF for a while? I would say as much as it feels uncomfortable just get your head down and plan for your get-out date.

I've done too much thinking now and I'm tired :rotfl:

Thanks for the post. Yes, I need to adhere to a certain diet. IT doesn't have to be as strict as you'd think, but I certainly see foods a bit differently to most. My parents know only old-wives tales of diet and they keep trying to advise me how to eat, despite the fact they're both overweight. They think i'm wasting food, but I think it's necessary. MY point is that it should be their concern. If i'm buying my own food and it doesn't impede on them, where's the problem? They still feel the need to butt in and tell them that I shouldn't eat X because they saw it on a cooking programme once.

I've never really got along with mum. I remember when I was about 10 or so I used to feel a bit embarassed by her because she was especially strict/mean. I always assumed my friends didn't like her but felt it disrespectful to tell me. We got along more as I got older, but since I've been living at home in these last 2 months it's all gone downhill.

GF's place is out of the question

System

The things you are doing are no doubt worthwhile, training, swimming, walking...but they are FOR YOU... you gain the rewards from them... cleaning the hall isn't so glam but EVERYONE gets the 'reward' from it.

re the bakery worker that you seem to have a problem with...remember next time you have a slice of bread that the poor sod who made it might not especially enjoy the job ( or they may love it) but it IS a job of value, and that person deserves respect for sticking at it.

Scared45

You don't get on with your mum?

Move the f!'!ck out - problem solved.

kittiej

Have you ever spoken to your mother about why she was so strict or mean? Did she have all boys and felt overwhelmed by discipline? I've got 2 boys and they are always fighting.