Brother's birthday problem WWYD?

adamantine

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Did you see the OP's description of the day?

yes i did but at the start of the day everyone wont be wasted will they? and just coz its described as "beer, beer, beer and more beer" doesnt mean it actually will be like that.

men have a tendency to over-exaggerate.

pleasedelete

:beer::beer:

adamantine wrote: »

men have a tendency to over-exaggerate.

About much in life

adamantine

pleasedelete wrote: »

:beer::beer:




About much in life

much to our amusement :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

mountainofdebt

Marisco wrote: »

Is my family unusual???? I read all this "won't leave the kids with PIL's" etc, and think "why not"? My son's daughter stayed overnight in mine, from when she was 3 months old!!! She loved it, and it gave son & gf, some time on their own. She used to stay every weekend, and we only have a one bed flat!! The cot just went in our room!! I'd have done the same for my daughter as well, only I moved 300 miles away! Kids need to get used to different situations, otherwise IMO you're building a rod for your own backs.

tbh I think the OP has issues (justified or not I don't know) with her PILs but I totally agree with you about making a rod for her own back. But there again I guess the OP would have issues with the way I brought up Junior but each to his own I guess.

Personally if I was asked to babysit for my grandson but it would be in someone else's (apart from the other parent's home) I would be saying no but not using the word no - if you get my drift.....if I'm not good enough to look after the child in my home then I'm not good enough full stop.

Of course the other alternative is to go out with brother at a later date for a more civilised meal - if the OP's Oh wanted to go out on the night of the p*ss up then I would let him.

adamantine

mountainofdebt wrote: »

tbh I think the OP has issues (justified or not I don't know) with her PILs but I totally agree with you about making a rod for her own back. But there again I guess the OP would have issues with the way I brought up Junior but each to his own I guess.

Personally if I was asked to babysit for my grandson but it would be in someone else's (apart from the other parent's home) I would be saying no but not using the word no - if you get my drift.....if I'm not good enough to look after the child in my home then I'm not good enough full stop.

this has been bugging me too. if they have concerns about the "attentiveness" of the ILs to look after the child why ask them at all? if i had any concern at all about someone looking after my child id never ask them to babysit at all.

picnmix

I have just turned down an invitation to a family wedding (evening do) for this same reason, my parents are also invited and we wouldn't have anyone to look after our kiddies, it's a fair distance away from where we live and is just for the "grown ups". Did I worry about it? No. It's part of having kids and something as parents we are used to. We don't have anyone (apart from my parents) who I would be able to ask to babysit at anytime, so maybe I am just a bit more immune to turning down and missing nights out than others who have people who can babysit for them regularly.

Sorry OP, but IMO you are over thinking this, either one of you goes or neither - simples. I have to say that when I had my 30th party I didn't give anyone's childcare issues a second thought.:)

thorsoak

When - just when, will some people realise that you can't always have what you want?

You live 100 miles away, you have a 2 year old you are reluctant to leave with PIL, you are pregnant, your OH is a friend of your brother - so let him go and represent you and your family! Simples.

jakes-mum

Honestly, I couldnt think of anything worse than sitting in a pub watching my sibling and his mates get wasted, but thats just me, I hate pubs anyway.

Re: A 2 year old being too young to stay at anyone elses house, i'll be honest, my son started staying at my mothers since he was roughly 3 months old, my DD exactly the same. He is now 10, she is about to turn 4 and to be honest they would rather stay at Grans than at mine! :eek: DS went for a week to stay with my sister 250 miles away for a week last summer holidays and loved it, wasnt worried at all and cetainly didnt miss me or his dad. I put that down to leaving him with my parents from such a young age. I would trust either set of parents and my sisters/oh brother or sister to care for my kids, and to be honest I encourage them to be comfortable staying with relatives as should anything ever happen to us, where are they going to go??

Unfortunately when you have kids/are pregnant you miss out on things. I was 7 months pregnant with DD when my middle sister got married in Canada, I couldnt go but that was my tough luck tbh. She then planned her home party for those relatives that couldnt attend for a week after I had DD over 100 miles from where we live, again I couldnt go. It wasnt up to her to arrange her party around my children, it was up to me to arrange care should I want to go. Yes I was upset (still am) that I never got to see her in her wedding dress, never got to celebrate with her, but I had responsibilities and those came first.

If you dont trust your inlaws, then dont ask them to babysit, stay home and look after your child yourself, or all of you just stay home.

January20

thorsoak wrote: »

When - just when, will some people realise that you can't always have what you want?

You live 100 miles away, you have a 2 year old you are reluctant to leave with PIL, you are pregnant, your OH is a friend of your brother - so let him go and represent you and your family! Simples.

Exactly :T

I'm sorry but I don't see what the big issue is. She is the OP's child, therefore her responsibility and if there are no other suitable adults to look after the child, then the OP should be the one looking after her and missing the party. Why should other family members miss the party? Especially as the OP is pregnant and won't be drinking, and this obviously is going to be a big drinking night!

CH27

What a strange thread.

Why would you expect your brother to consider your childcare needs when planning his party?
Why would you expect your parents to miss their son's party to mind your child?
Either you trust your inlaws or you don't. You cannot pick & choose to suit you.