Brother's birthday problem WWYD?

j.e.j.

Your brother knows that you've got a little one and that you're expecting, so I guess he'll realise that one of you will need to look after the child! I'd say share the babysitting with your parents and OH for the evening. Take it in turns, and/or you come back early from the pub (or wherever it is).

Guinea_2

Sorry to be controversial but...reading your posts it seems as though you've expected your brother to have thought/worried/deliberated/even cared that you have a child to think about child care for. Also you seem annoyed that your parents are going...he's their son so ofcourse they'd be invited & want to go.
If you don't want your PIL to have your child overnight & the party is 100 miles away from anyone that you trust to babysit then I think it should be you who looks after the child. You're pregnant & so can't drink & you say your hubby is a good friend of your brother so let him enjoy the party.
Whatever you decide, I hope you all have a lovely time.

onlyroz

Can't you take the kids with you?

JC9297

Guinea wrote: »

Sorry to be controversial but...reading your posts it seems as though you've expected your brother to have thought/worried/deliberated/even cared that you have a child to think about child care for. Also you seem annoyed that your parents are going...he's their son so ofcourse they'd be invited & want to go.
If you don't want your PIL to have your child overnight & the party is 100 miles away from anyone that you trust to babysit then I think it should be you who looks after the child. You're pregnant & so can't drink & you say your hubby is a good friend of your brother so let him enjoy the party.
Whatever you decide, I hope you all have a lovely time.

Yes my first thoughts were why did you not expect your parents to want to go to their son's 40th birthday party.

Marisco

Is my family unusual???? I read all this "won't leave the kids with PIL's" etc, and think "why not"? My son's daughter stayed overnight in mine, from when she was 3 months old!!! She loved it, and it gave son & gf, some time on their own. She used to stay every weekend, and we only have a one bed flat!! The cot just went in our room!! I'd have done the same for my daughter as well, only I moved 300 miles away! Kids need to get used to different situations, otherwise IMO you're building a rod for your own backs.

vroombroom

JC9297 wrote: »

Yes my first thoughts were why did you not expect your parents to want to go to their son's 40th birthday party.

cos she expected them to look after her child while she went?

adamantine

if its a family pub take lo along with you then leave when lo needs to be bedded. simple. everyone gets to be there and celebrate your brothers 40th and no one misses out.

Sambucus_Nigra

adamantine wrote: »

if its a family pub take lo along with you then leave when lo needs to be bedded. simple. everyone gets to be there and celebrate your brothers 40th and no one misses out.

Did you see the OP's description of the day?

adamantine

Marisco wrote: »

Is my family unusual???? I read all this "won't leave the kids with PIL's" etc, and think "why not"? My son's daughter stayed overnight in mine, from when she was 3 months old!!! She loved it, and it gave son & gf, some time on their own. She used to stay every weekend, and we only have a one bed flat!! The cot just went in our room!! I'd have done the same for my daughter as well, only I moved 300 miles away! Kids need to get used to different situations, otherwise IMO you're building a rod for your own backs.

nope your family isnt unsusal. my kids stay away overnight at my parents once a month and have done since my youngest was 6 months and my eldest 3 so i can have a bit of a break and relax and get a night out with my friends. they love it and so do i.

as an addition to my earlier post, if i was your parents i would be most annoyed you even for a second though i wouldnt be going to my sons 40th birthday and as for inviting someone else to sit in my home and look after your child when you are staying as a guest, well that wouldnt go down well either.

if your brother doesnt have young kids why should he think about everyone elses situations? if i have a party i invite everyone even those i know cant come coz they will be working/are due a baby any day/live on the other side of the world so no one feels left out and no hassle is created. maybe your brother doesnt expect you to attend coz of your daughter and bump but didnt want to cause agro by not inviting you?

curlytop12

its not your brothers responsibility to consider your childcare issues.

its not your parents responsibility to put your childcare needs before their own plans.

when you have children you sometimes have to miss out/make sacrifices.